♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[Harley_skyy]

mark <3

[WastedSpace]

Okey so im in love with one of my best friends and i really think that he only likes me as a friend and it gives me so much anxiety about telling him, what do i do to make it easier to tell him?

Nothing much to do to make it easier except just doing it and getting it off your chest. ;3

[okapi,]

Okey so im in love with one of my best friends and i really think that he only likes me as a friend and it gives me so much anxiety about telling him, what do i do to make it easier to tell him?

Honestly, it's not going to be any easier to tell him, no matter what you try to do. You literally have to dig down deep inside of you and just do it. If he likes you only as a friend, then you will need to give him a couple days to get more comfortable with you. Guys are notoriously bad at communication, and when you tell them something like this and they don't feel the same way, they're most likely going to avoid you. It won't take long for them to warm back up to you, as long as you don't mention the incident again. If this ends up happening, I would tell him that day either during the conversation or later that day over text that you still value your friendship. If you let him know that you are okay with the fact that he doesn't feel the same and that you want to still be friends, he will probably take less time to get over it.
The biggest thing on your end, though, is to be 100% truthful with him. It wouldn't hurt to tell him that you've been having trouble deciding if you wanted to tell him or not. If you say, "hey, I wanted to tell you this but I'm really nervous," he will probably have a softer response. Instead of him responding with "oh sorry I don't like you like that" and walking away, he might say something like, "hey, I really appreciate that you were able to come up to me and tell me this, it takes a lot of guts. But I'm really sorry, I just don't feel the same, but we can still be friends!"
Obviously everyone is different and will react differently but there are things you can do that will make it less confusing for yourself and make him realize what a big deal it is for you to tell him, instead of just being naive and ignorant. And this is if you even decide to tell him or not, you don't even have to.
If you didn't tell him, you may eventually get over him and find someone else and still have a lasting friendship. But it could also end up being the opposite. I would do whatever you feel more comfortable with being the end result.
I hope this helps! If you wanna talk more feel free to PM me! Good luck!

[illumié]

So I'm in a relationship with a guy and I'm very happy with it, no problems with us two at all

But the problem is when it's more than just us two, like if we're hanging out with friends or sth. I feel like when I'm with other people, I set our relationship back temporarily, and I don't think that's fair to him. I have a habit of being more distant with him, which in theory is fine bc it would be super awkward for my poor friends if we acted exactly like we did when we're alone (there should be some restraint), but I do it more because I'm worried that my friends will judge us for the way we interact each other. I certainly say we interact in a normal fashion, but neither of us would feel fufilled if we did because we're just strange people. It works for us. But still, I just don't feel comfortable interacting with him like that when other people are around, I just worry too much what people think of me and us. Once he had one of his friends that I didn't know (who also didn't know the two of us were dating) and I couldn't even speak a word to my boyfriend because I was so afraid of his friend thinking I was a weirdo, despite the fact his friend was surely aware he couldn't be with any sort of normal person. I just don't know what to do about it, and I'm very worried about how meeting his parents will go because of this problem.

What I've been doing is trying to get better at it slowly, and I've become able to interact with him mostly normally with my close friends... But I think it'll be very difficult to do that around people I know less well because I just generally have a lot of trouble with trust. Any other suggestions? Also, does anyone have any specific insight on how to act around him with his family? I really don't want to mess that up, haha^^;

[okapi,]

So I'm in a relationship with a guy and I'm very happy with it, no problems with us two at all

But the problem is when it's more than just us two, like if we're hanging out with friends or sth. I feel like when I'm with other people, I set our relationship back temporarily, and I don't think that's fair to him. I have a habit of being more distant with him, which in theory is fine bc it would be super awkward for my poor friends if we acted exactly like we did when we're alone (there should be some restraint), but I do it more because I'm worried that my friends will judge us for the way we interact each other. I certainly say we interact in a normal fashion, but neither of us would feel fufilled if we did because we're just strange people. It works for us. But still, I just don't feel comfortable interacting with him like that when other people are around, I just worry too much what people think of me and us. Once he had one of his friends that I didn't know (who also didn't know the two of us were dating) and I couldn't even speak a word to my boyfriend because I was so afraid of his friend thinking I was a weirdo, despite the fact his friend was surely aware he couldn't be with any sort of normal person. I just don't know what to do about it, and I'm very worried about how meeting his parents will go because of this problem.

What I've been doing is trying to get better at it slowly, and I've become able to interact with him mostly normally with my close friends... But I think it'll be very difficult to do that around people I know less well because I just generally have a lot of trouble with trust. Any other suggestions? Also, does anyone have any specific insight on how to act around him with his family? I really don't want to mess that up, haha^^;

Working slow, like you said you've been doing, is a great idea!
If you're afraid that he is hurt or gets upset when you act awkwardly around others, I would just mention it to him. You could say something like "hey, I want you to know that when I act weird when we're around others, it's not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed of you, it's just because I'm afraid of what people are thinking about us." It's important to tell him this because then he will understand what you mean and so that he doesn't feel like you don't like him. It's also important to remember that you're friends are not judging you, if they care about you. Obviously it's hard for people not to worry about what others think, and although that might be ideal, I'm not gonna sit here and say just don't care. You can care, but don't take it to heart to much, especially around your friends because they're the people that love you no matter what.
When you're with your friends, you can always think of him as your friend instead of boyfriend. That way, if you feel uncomfortable acting affectionate towards him, you can still give him the attention but in more of a casual way, as if he were just your friend.
As for interacting with his family, that's always really hard. But, it can help if you remember that his parents are an extension of him (or the other way around). He has traits that his parents have, and if you can pick up on those or notice them it can make you feel more comfortable. Obviously it's going to be nerve-racking, but his parents will understand that. Don't worry if the conversation is uncomfortable at first or if you say something you think you shouldn't have - his parents have both most likely been in that same exact situation, know how you feel, and aren't going to take those little "slip-ups" to heart.

Here are some tips to help start a conversation, if you feel that this will be a big issue:
- Look around the house for pictures or knickknacks that are interesting, and ask them about it. Some things might have a really interesting story behind them.
- Ask about what your boyfriend was like when he was a kid - those stories are always fun and interesting for the parents.
- Ask about how his parent's met and got together.
- Ask about his parent's lives when they were kids. What they did for fun, where they lived, etc
- Ask about his parent's jobs. Don't outright ask "What do you do for a living?" but you can ask, "So how did you get into nursing?" for example.

And here are some tips to keep in mind to help them like you:
- Try not to talk too much about things that they don't care about. For example, don't start a conversation by saying "Last night I ate spaghetti for dinner too!" Something like this won't be interesting and won't get you very far, unless you have an interesting story to tell about spaghetti.
- Try to talk about happy and funny moments you had with your friends and family. If you've had a bad past, save that for another time. You want to show them that you are a happy, positive, and good spirited person.
- ALWAYS use proper manners like please and thank you. Say thank you much more than you think you need. If you think you've said it too much, you haven't, the more the better.
- Try not to curse for no reason.
- Wear something more conservative or natural if you think that his parents will care about your style of clothes. Most of the times they do, so wearing something like a nice t-shirt instead of a tank top that has cuts in it will help.
- On the same note, try and wear something a bit nicer than usual - you don't have to go with formal wear, but maybe something a tiny bit nicer.
- Complimenting them will help. For example, "This food is great!" or "I love the way you've decorated your house!" are great things to say to make them feel good around you. Don't do it so much that it gets weird, though.
- Try not to talk too much about your accomplishments unless they ask you. You don't want to seem self-centered.

Oh my gosh, sorry for such a long message! But I tried to cover a little bit of everything so that you could have as much help as possible. Maybe you'll be able to pick and chose what fits for you?
Anyway I wish you good luck! If you need anything else feel free to PM me!

[Pinesong]

So um, this is for my friend who needs relationship advice:

Y= my friend
J= her crush

So three years ago, my friend group found out that J liked my friend Y. It wasn't that much of a big deal because at this point, Y liked someone else. At the begging of last year, Y started to like J. Throughout the year they began getting closer and started becoming really good friends. Y started liking him on and off until the end of last year (ish). Then she started crushing on him BIG time. Everyone knows that they like each other and they have told each other that they like each other, it's just that nothing ever happens between them. Y really wants something to happen and she wants to start dating but J doesn't 'want to start dating anyone yet' just because they're young and everything. From my point of view, they're actually really comfortable around eachother and actually get on so well. I guess they're just tuning right now. Y gets really frustrated sometimes and doesn't understand why they can't just date already. I mean, J has told her himself that he 'really likes her', and hangs around Y all the time. It's things like this that Y just doesn't get. That he's liked her for 3 years and still doesn't want to go anywhere. I guess she does just have to respect J's opinions but they're getting so much closer but nothing seems to be happening for her.

Just looking for some advice on what she should do/think?

[sunflower,]

my ex and i tried "reconnecting" after 8 months of no talking
and we're friends again, i guess, but we're on bad terms.
my best friend and my ex are friends, and they constantly hang out and talk about each other
and it just really hurts and bothers me
i know i can't control who my best friend hangs out with
so what do i do?
how do i stop letting this bother me so much?

[WastedSpace]

So um, this is for my friend who needs relationship advice:

Y= my friend
J= her crush

So three years ago, my friend group found out that J liked my friend Y. It wasn't that much of a big deal because at this point, Y liked someone else. At the begging of last year, Y started to like J. Throughout the year they began getting closer and started becoming really good friends. Y started liking him on and off until the end of last year (ish). Then she started crushing on him BIG time. Everyone knows that they like each other and they have told each other that they like each other, it's just that nothing ever happens between them. Y really wants something to happen and she wants to start dating but J doesn't 'want to start dating anyone yet' just because they're young and everything. From my point of view, they're actually really comfortable around eachother and actually get on so well. I guess they're just tuning right now. Y gets really frustrated sometimes and doesn't understand why they can't just date already. I mean, J has told her himself that he 'really likes her', and hangs around Y all the time. It's things like this that Y just doesn't get. That he's liked her for 3 years and still doesn't want to go anywhere. I guess she does just have to respect J's opinions but they're getting so much closer but nothing seems to be happening for her.

Just looking for some advice on what she should do/think?

I think if he's not ready to date yet, she shouldn't torture herself by sitting here bemoaning that they're not dating while getting closer to him and not getting what she wants. I would suggest that she find a new activity/hobby/sport/volunteer activity. Get out there and do something fun and fulfilling that she likes, just for herself. I actually think J is making a mature decision in not wanting to date yet. Your friend should make an equally mature decision in finding something else to fill her life with, at least for right now. Dating isn't the end all, be all of life. And if she's really ready to date and is really old enough to do so, there's no use sitting here crying over someone who has said no. There's plenty of life out there to live!

my ex and i tried "reconnecting" after 8 months of no talking
and we're friends again, i guess, but we're on bad terms.
my best friend and my ex are friends, and they constantly hang out and talk about each other
and it just really hurts and bothers me
i know i can't control who my best friend hangs out with
so what do i do?
how do i stop letting this bother me so much?

Do you have something just for you? Branch out and try new things. Meet new people. It's hard to control jealousy like this, and it's amazing that you've recognized this and are trying to healthily deal with it. So stop sitting inside and just stewing. Get out. Meet new people! Do new things! Find things that make you happy and feel fulfilled. If you've got other, good things going on in your life, these feelings will be easier to deal with.

As well, just keep being conscious of how you feel and work on consciously letting go. It's really hard work, but the best way to solve this is to confront it head on. Process how you're feeling and why you're feeling it. You don't have to forgive, but you do have to figure out how to move on.

[/////]

PM me please, it's not about me , it's about one of my friends.

[WastedSpace]

months ago, last year, my boyfriend liked someone else at the start of our relationship. he liked her for quite a few months, and kept lying about not liking her. i know it's not the worst thing to like someone else while in a relationship, but it still hurt obviously.
this girl is one of my friends at school.. and his partner for one of the subjects (although said subject is ending this year). she's never at school because she's sick, but i'm still scared that he might like her (that's just me being paranoid though)

me and my boyfriend have been talking about it, and we've kind of came to the conclusion to tell her that he liked her and stuff.. because i feel that it would just help me get it all off my chest and actually give me peace of mind.
but i'm absolutely terrified that when i tell her, she'll do something with that information (like try to make a move on him or something..) i trust him but i don't trust her. i don't even know her that well because she's off so much. i'm so scared, i don't know if i should tell her or not or if telling her would benefit us or what

hh-

It's your choices, the both of you, but tbh, I don't really see why you would tell her? Exactly what benefit is that supposed to bring? It seems like you're trying to punish yourself or something by driving them together. If you trust him, then it's time to let this go. There's no way this can be an enjoyable relationship with you worried he's going to leave or get stolen away all the time. You need to just take some time to be with him and enjoy being with him. You can't control the future, but you can control the present. Enjoy what you have. Be in this relationship.

If you really feel this is somehow going to give you closure, then go ahead. But whether your boyfriend likes her or not, she is not a part of your relationship, and this isn't information she is owed or anything. And what do you expect her to do with the information? What an awkward spot to put all three of you in. JMHO