So I've had this problem for a while now, and I was wondering if I was the only one this happens to.
Basically, whenever I confess my feelings for someone, they hate me afterwards, with varying degrees of hate for me being shown. This has happened many times over the years and has costs me some of my closest friends.
There was a girl I met on here, actually. Ever since the day we met I knew I loved her. But it was too soon into our friendship,
so I suppressed it. However, on New Year's, at the stroke of Midnight, I finally told her.
She blew it off like I never said it. It hurt me so much that I didn't have the heart to bring it up again. Over the years, we grew apart, and we no longer speak to one another. I still have feelings for her, as she was the only person who ever truly made me happy. While she has made several attempts to speak to me on here, as happy as she makes me, I have no wish to respond to them. Not yet, at least. Simply seeing her username causes my heart to quiver, but I simply can not reply right now.
There was another girl I met on here, or should I say woman. My love for her wasn't as much romantic as it was a simple admiration of her and her work. She brought such unique art and stories to this site, and for a while I envied, and actually hated her. But, we became friends. She no longer visits anymore, but when she recently began dating a long time friend of her's, she did inquire about if I had a crush on her. Seeing as how I sort of did, I said yes. That was some time ago, but we haven't spoken for months. Perhaps it has something to do with me looking up to her for guidance, seeing as how she is older than me, and I often vented my feelings to her, something which she expressed her displeasure for in a very long message to me.
I've had several real life friends this happened with as well, those being males. I am a Female by birth, but a man at heart, so things are confusing for me. However, that hasn't stopped me from confessing my feelings for my male friends. There was one in particular that really tore me apart, though.
We'll call him J. I had known J for 2 years, but it wasn't until the second year that we began to grow close. We had a large group of friends. J was the type of guy to give the girls trouble, constantly flirting with them. He earned my respect though by not doing that sort of thing to me, as I dislike it when guys are all over girls like that. He did, however, care about me. One day I was crying. He was talking with his friend, but when he saw I was crying he immediately dropped the conversation with his friend, put his arm around me, and asked me what happened, something which had never happened to me before.
We'd go on walks together. One day I approached him on the street. He was stopped and looking at something, so he pointed it out to me. It was a dead cat laying in the grass by the side of the road, most likely hit by a car. He suddenly started picking up piles of leaves(this happened in the fall) and covering the cat's body with them. I joined him.
In the winter, I wrote him a letter confessing my feelings for him, clearly stating that it was fine if he didn't feel the same way about me and that I wasn't asking him out, merely getting those feelings off my chest because they had been bothering me for a while. I never got a reply, but I assumed that everything was fine. I continued sitting next to him, as he was the only one in the group I felt comfortable sitting next to, as everyone else had the habit of taking people's stuff and hiding it. However, after about a month, he and the rest of the group hatched a plan. When he got up to throw out the trash from his lunch, another one of our friends would take his place next to me. This, of coarse, enraged me. I didn't understand what was happening. He sent his brother to tell me to stop sitting next to him, that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me, and to stop obsessing over him. I thought that he would be okay with us still being friends, but I guess not. Over the next few months I tried to talk to him to try and explain things to him, to tell him he misunderstood what I said, but he refused to speak to me, even once telling me he was gay just so I'd stop talking to him. He also accused me of stalking him, even though the group had particular places we'd hang out at certain times, and being there at those times was the only way I could talk to him. I assume he moved away, as I haven't seen him or his brother at all this year. I no longer hang out with that group, as they had always treated me like trash when J wasn't around. I do feel like J may have overreacted a bit. A simple 'I don't like you the same way' would have been okay.
After all that's happened, I've really given up on this whole love thing. I've never been in a relationship, and at this rate most likely never will be. I've stopped having friends so I don't fall in love and ruin it all like I have so many times in the past.
This is something I am more comfortable speaking about through PM.
Basically, whenever I confess my feelings for someone, they hate me afterwards, with varying degrees of hate for me being shown. This has happened many times over the years and has costs me some of my closest friends.
There was a girl I met on here, actually. Ever since the day we met I knew I loved her. But it was too soon into our friendship,
so I suppressed it. However, on New Year's, at the stroke of Midnight, I finally told her.
She blew it off like I never said it. It hurt me so much that I didn't have the heart to bring it up again. Over the years, we grew apart, and we no longer speak to one another. I still have feelings for her, as she was the only person who ever truly made me happy. While she has made several attempts to speak to me on here, as happy as she makes me, I have no wish to respond to them. Not yet, at least. Simply seeing her username causes my heart to quiver, but I simply can not reply right now.
There was another girl I met on here, or should I say woman. My love for her wasn't as much romantic as it was a simple admiration of her and her work. She brought such unique art and stories to this site, and for a while I envied, and actually hated her. But, we became friends. She no longer visits anymore, but when she recently began dating a long time friend of her's, she did inquire about if I had a crush on her. Seeing as how I sort of did, I said yes. That was some time ago, but we haven't spoken for months. Perhaps it has something to do with me looking up to her for guidance, seeing as how she is older than me, and I often vented my feelings to her, something which she expressed her displeasure for in a very long message to me.
I've had several real life friends this happened with as well, those being males. I am a Female by birth, but a man at heart, so things are confusing for me. However, that hasn't stopped me from confessing my feelings for my male friends. There was one in particular that really tore me apart, though.
We'll call him J. I had known J for 2 years, but it wasn't until the second year that we began to grow close. We had a large group of friends. J was the type of guy to give the girls trouble, constantly flirting with them. He earned my respect though by not doing that sort of thing to me, as I dislike it when guys are all over girls like that. He did, however, care about me. One day I was crying. He was talking with his friend, but when he saw I was crying he immediately dropped the conversation with his friend, put his arm around me, and asked me what happened, something which had never happened to me before.
We'd go on walks together. One day I approached him on the street. He was stopped and looking at something, so he pointed it out to me. It was a dead cat laying in the grass by the side of the road, most likely hit by a car. He suddenly started picking up piles of leaves(this happened in the fall) and covering the cat's body with them. I joined him.
In the winter, I wrote him a letter confessing my feelings for him, clearly stating that it was fine if he didn't feel the same way about me and that I wasn't asking him out, merely getting those feelings off my chest because they had been bothering me for a while. I never got a reply, but I assumed that everything was fine. I continued sitting next to him, as he was the only one in the group I felt comfortable sitting next to, as everyone else had the habit of taking people's stuff and hiding it. However, after about a month, he and the rest of the group hatched a plan. When he got up to throw out the trash from his lunch, another one of our friends would take his place next to me. This, of coarse, enraged me. I didn't understand what was happening. He sent his brother to tell me to stop sitting next to him, that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me, and to stop obsessing over him. I thought that he would be okay with us still being friends, but I guess not. Over the next few months I tried to talk to him to try and explain things to him, to tell him he misunderstood what I said, but he refused to speak to me, even once telling me he was gay just so I'd stop talking to him. He also accused me of stalking him, even though the group had particular places we'd hang out at certain times, and being there at those times was the only way I could talk to him. I assume he moved away, as I haven't seen him or his brother at all this year. I no longer hang out with that group, as they had always treated me like trash when J wasn't around. I do feel like J may have overreacted a bit. A simple 'I don't like you the same way' would have been okay.
After all that's happened, I've really given up on this whole love thing. I've never been in a relationship, and at this rate most likely never will be. I've stopped having friends so I don't fall in love and ruin it all like I have so many times in the past.
This is something I am more comfortable speaking about through PM.