Cacti. wrote:I was given some prompts for Bio and I'd greatly appreciate for someone to proofread it and make sure I stayed on topicI was given this prompt: In your opinion, under what circumstances should doctors/scientists be allowed to change the genes of organisms, including patients? Explain and describe your position.
This is my answer: In my opinion I believe that changing who a person is, is bad under any circumstance but I cannot say that I think
it’s wrong to replace defective genes that can cause a fatal disease
is bad. Human-kind has already tripled the life-span of humans with medical advancement so there’s no turning back. Changing ones eye color or physical trait I see as wrong that is changing someone for no reason other than personal preference. That would almost be like saying your favorite color is red but then someone saying
: “No
, it’s blue
,”
and you’re not allowed to do anything about it. The only way your eye or hair color could endanger one’s life would be in someone wanting to commit genocide
was after people with that trait. When it comes to animals and crops my opinion doesn’t vary too much other than as I said previously the human lifespan has tripled leading to increases in population making it necessary for us to find ways to increase the amounts of food being produced. So my overall opinion is that human-kind led us to have to do things like this
, and it’s what has to be done to maintain our species
.Thank you

I think you stayed on topic! I do have a couple comments.
- Bolded punctuation is tiny corrections. Bolded words are sentences you need to re-read and correct for flow, particularly where bolded.
- One thing I think you need to clarify a bit more is "defective genes". Are you only talking about fatal diseases? Because some people (and I just want to be clear that I don't agree) think that having down-syndrome or autism or anything else like that makes you "defective", so your position could be read as applying towards people with other atypical conditions.
- This is probably a bit too in depth for what it seems was asked of you, but maybe think about addressing patient consent? Do doctors have a right to cure even a fatal disease if the patient, for whatever reason, doesn't want it?
- You don't really address plants and animals. I think your viewpoint is that it's perhaps a necessary evil? You should outright state your opinion on it: do you support it or not?
- The last sentence "it's what has to be done": it's is vague - what are you referring to here? Specifically to altering animals and plants or are you including altering human genes as well?