Over the last three years since that post, I have gone through a LOT. The now ex-boyfriend I was talking about in the original linked post, turned out to be HORRIBLY manipulative. I have the biggest regrets with saying yes to his offering of dating, but silly younger me thought he was just the most handsome being on the planet and so I just shrugged off my horrible feelings I got whenever he would talk to me. I have since then seen the error of my ways and by all means, if anyone is ever being mentally manipulative or abusive, dump them quick and get out. Trust your gut feeling. Don't jump into relationships as I did with that one. I had only been talking with that boy for a few weeks at that point and it was extremely wrong of me to rush into things.
Currently, I am two months into a relationship where I feel nothing but pure happiness and extreme love everyday. I can proudly say that this boy is my best friend (as they should be). I had met this boy by chance in a 3.5k+ person discord server one night on voice chat back in late August/early September. We had been talking every day for well over 8 hours a night (which often led me going to sleep around 4 or 5 am every night, haha) for around 2 months straight. Whilst our relationship at that time had greatly changed from when I first met him, I didn't know exactly what we meant to each other. At first it started with him sticking up for me whenever our mutually shared friends (who we had both happened to meet in the same discord server) would poke fun at me, or target me in the multiplayer games we play together. I can absolutely take care of myself so at the time, I just thought he was being a good friend. Over the weeks and hours upon hours we talked, played games and just enjoyed each others company, he started to drop bigger hints my way. At first he would send me hearts randomly and send me messages while I was away eating or at work/school about how he missed me and couldn't wait to talk to me again. Slowly but surely my relationship with him got better and we only got closer and closer. Now given my many past, failed relationships, I have grown to become rather wary when getting feelings for people. I make sure I no longer just like them for their appearance and rather for their personality. I make sure they are a good, compassionate person with good morals that correspond with my own personal views. I make sure that if I am going to let someone into my life, they will be good to me and love me for all of me, flaws included.
Now my boyfriend, he is the sweetest darn man I have ever met in my whole life. He was athletic (like I was in my middle/high school years), a huge history nerd, a computer science major. He first started to show me he was just as interested as I was when he let a pet name slip during a private conversation. I, of course, started to freak out and got warm, butterflies deep within my stomach. He could tell I was freaking out about it probably from my frantic and excited key-smash and gibberish. He ended up asking me what was wrong, which I confessed "It's just you." Given it was quite the risk in my eyes at the time, I immediately turned my phone screen off, and waited my response. Which to my very good surprise, got a quick "That's what I was hoping for." This game of teasing and dropping hints between the two of use went over and over for about a week and a half before I could not take it any longer. During one of our routine conversations, after a pet-name from him. I told him to just date me already and stop teasing me. Being snarky man he is, he left me (for a short time) with "Maybe I will." Worst 5 minutes of my life. I had no idea if he would actually do it or if I just exposed myself and ruined a friendship I really treasured. After these painstakingly long five minutes, I finally checked the message to find him officially asking me out. Our friendship has only strengthened with our newfound relationship and I would have it no other way. The best and funniest thing is I found out way before I had started developing feelings for this boy, that I will be moving 30 minutes away from him in March! I was already excited about meeting my friends (I'm also friends with his best friend of 13 years) but now I am even more excited about it seeing as he is now my BOYFRIEND.
TLDR; My best friend is now my boyfriend.
That being said, I am always open to giving private advice if you would like to DM me about anything you are not comfortable talking about, or would like to talk without the distractions of other forum posters.
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Banana. wrote:Okay so I had a HUGE paragraph typed but it’s a lot so here’s the long story short.
I’ve caught my boyfriend lying to me in school when I ask to meet up, and him being around that spot and on his phone, then him saying he didn’t see my text. He also lied about where and who he went to hangout with, which I found out about on snap map. He ditched our friend group for another kid we invited who said he couldn’t go. And he ignored my texts. And the lying has occurred so much and I try giving him his space but he’s my boyfriend, I shouldn’t have to go days without talking to him. I asked him why he’s been different lately and he said he’s not. That’s all I can do I guess, I can’t pester him about it. Do you think he’s cheating or about to break up with me?? Because when we’re together in person, everything is perfect and he’s so good to me but when he isn’t with me and doesn’t have to talk to me he won’t.
Hi there, Banana! I understand the worries about him becoming distant. Sometimes people just need space to be if life becomes particularly difficult. If you haven't already, let him know in person that you do in fact care about him and that if there is anything he needs to talk about, you are always open and willing to listen. Let him know how you feel without sounding too condescending or upset. Make sure it is sincere. Communication is extremely important in a relationship, and your significant other is not a mind reader. If push comes to shove after you let him know how you feel/are actively trying to get over this bump and he still seems shut off to you, then perhaps you should end your relationship with him. Most things, however, can be resolved with a simple, adult conversation.
Good luck and Happy Holidays.
