Username: Zailune
Name: Malcolm
Gender: Male –
he / himRelationship with the sea:
The sea is Malcolm's only retreat. It's a place to calm his mind, and release the tension in his body. With the stresses of his everyday existence, Malcolm finds visiting his retreat a necessity, and he feels he could not live apart from it. (44/50 words)
Song Explanation:
Malcolm carried a lot of stress in his childhood. Despite his positive home environment, his mind was never in the right state. He was constantly living in his own world, and kept himself separate from others. He lacked the ability to empathize, and his personal issues kept him from holding friendships or interacting properly with others.
This was never his fault, but that understanding didn't keep him from feeling completely and utterly alone.
All throughout his childhood, he felt this way – alone.
His life passed in stages, many of which were 'negative' in a sense, with only temporary releases keeping him from falling away. At one point, he came to “accept” that he was different, that he'd always be alone.
….but, he didn't want it to be that way. Despite his faux comfortableness with his personal void, there was always a part of him that screamed out for love and attention, but mostly understanding.
One day, he broke through that that kept him locked away inside his own consciousness. He made a decision that he was going to try to learn and grow, rather than allowing his brain to “protect” him from harm by forcing him into isolation within himself.
This song is far from the sort of stuff Malcolm enjoys listening to in all honesty. However, it fits him in a lot of ways. For a long time, he really did remain in a state of acceptance. He continued his everyday life feeling that nothing would change, and that that was okay. For many, this is reality. This is the truth, and the best feeling you'll ultimately get.
...but over time, feelings change. Your understanding changes. Your perception of what “reality” is changes.... and, Malcolm wanted to live differently. Rather than being comfortable in a void or state of emptiness, rather than accepting his life as is, he decided to use the time he has in this world to grow as a being – which takes a lot of strength (...and sometimes an outside push...), but is doable.
Over years, he learned to empathize properly and react “normally” to varying situations. It was something that often came naturally to others, but he learned to listen, to socialize and understand others, and he opened up to new friendships.
380 words