Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[QuixoticFox]

Dear W,
I recognize that the first step of us going down this rabbit hole was my innocent naivety,
My willingness to trust, and the standards I hold when it comes to an idealistic love;
I gave up what I had - ideology, familial/cultural norms, an old flame - to have a shot at what could be with you.
I traded my comfort zone for strength, ambition and independence uncharacteristic of myself;
as though fitting myself in the shape you like would make you approve of me even more;
And you do not fulfill my core needs to be warm and secure inside, while I adapt to your love language;
Still, I say, I shall persevere in understanding; and I internalize it and say,
I am strong.
I am self-sufficient.
And through these months, I've truly remained strong.
Handling situations with dignity, and making sure to never use emotional manipulation or shed a tear - till even you were, I don't know, disappointed? in why I didn't display a bigger emotional reaction though you hate it when girls cry as it's a "turn off" to you.
And now you're saying,
"maybe I shouldn't ask for much during this period until things are better, as in trying for things, feel like I'm wasting your time"
& it's the first time I broke down - albeit briefly, because you aren't that deserving of my tears.
Just feels like I'm the one steering/towing this whole thing while you ride along apologetically.
I'm really truly, quite done with that.
Even though I'm still not over you.

xx QF

[hellebore]

I'm glad you couldn't love me enough, because I never would have been able to say goodbye to you. I'm glad you had it within you to do so to me. I'm glad you had it within you to hurt me for the better, though I know it wasn't the thought of my wellbeing that caused you to make that choice.

[Athaerys]

Dear Myself,

You really have gone and done it now, havent you. You just couldnt help but fall in love with not one, but 2 of your best friends?! And one is an ex none the less! Youre really that hungry for attention? Youre a glutton for pain, you know that? You cant help but be harmed over and over by the people you care about. You cant help but ruin your health day after day. I managed to push one away by admitting how they were toxic to me, and another one by repeatedly dragging them into problems that didnt concern them at all. Im surprised they havent completely left the person who always makes the conversation about herself. They all deserve better than you. You dont deserve to have a lover, or friends, or even the stuff you have now. You dont deserve anything. I mean look at you, youre absolutely covered in those hideous moles, you try to imitate musical parts of songs when they are instrumental parts, you have horrible habits, youre blind without those glasses and if someone took them then you would be defenseless. Youre a shut in who is expected to be the perfect tall student and if you get a B, you get lectured. You absolutely attach to people, and when they leave, youre in pieces. You should expect people leaving by now. Why do you still have that little necklace and earring from when you were seven? Why are you so attached to what Marsh gave you? You havent seen him since you left that school so many years ago. He could be dead for all you know! You should probably shut up about Code Geass, Xenoblade, and everything relating to fandoms. No one appreciates it.

You really are sadistic, you know that? Why do you even try anymore? School gets boring, youre barely paying attention to classes and are always the teachers pet, you just go through friends so easily. Im actually surprised that B, E, and S even bothered to contact you this summer. Well, maybe not B. Oh well, its not like she mattered. I was just a pawn to her. You know, theres probably something major wrong in your head other than anxiety and depression, youve always had that. You always act differently around different people, I wonder why. Its probably why no one tells you anything anymore. Theyve grown sick of you. Even your own father has grown sick of you. No one notices the pain, the masks, the difference you have from others. One minute youre caring and feeling all the pain the others have, trying to be there for them and not let them be alone with their pain. I mean, you can tell the tone of voice they have from *texts*, thats more than weird and freaky. Then the next minute youre like this. Cold. Uncaring. Emotionless. I mean, look at you. Theres something wrong with you, and thats why everyone has left and is leaving. Why no one is returning your PMs, why no one asks if youre okay or how your day is doing. Why no one shows any compassion to you. They all see the real beast you are, now youre the only one left to find about it. Oh, and you should probably lay off the Monster drinks. Youre right side hasnt been doing well. I guess Im just being the greedy self I am. Oh well


-Yourself.

[serenitymontaza]

I've spent way too long looking for a song I can relate to so I'll just say everything I need to and if anyone knows any relatable songs that'd be great. my taste is basic popular songs. sorry. anyway...

dear b.
the bad boy. the one with the reputation. the one everybody warned me about. the kind of boy all my friends hated and you hated us. but you liked me! i was naive and i believed everybody should be given a chance. so, i gave it a chance. and i tried so hard to fit in with you. you didn't like that im the one that ended things with you. because each time you treated me with disrespect, you'd find an excuse so that it was my fault. i guess you didn't want to be the bad guy.
i wanted to learn so much more about you, beyond what you were telling me. you said you loved me, but when i asked you couldn't even name ten facts about me. i thought maybe i loved you. maybe i still do. or maybe it was just the idea of you i loved. you liked football. but i hardly even got you to talk about that with me. i thought that even the shy people had a lot more about themselves deep down. maybe with some people that's not the case. maybe with you, that really was all there was to you.
i told you we weren't working. i told you i still wanted to be friends, in effort to not hurt your feelings; despite you constantly hurting mine. but of course that wasn't good enough for you. you said i used you. i tried to tell you all these things. how i had loved you but you didn't love me. but you didn't give me a chance. you made yourself seem like the victim, purely because you couldn't end things first.
ive always believed everyone who comes into your life, comes in for a reason. be it a lesson or a blessing. im still wondering what lesson I've learned from you. all i know is maybe sometimes people with a bad reputation have that title for a reason. but it's okay, now we're even, just like you always wanted. because thanks to you constantly playing the victim and treating me like the bad one; i have a reputation now too. but when people get to know me, they'll see you were lying and that im just as naive as I ever was. except once you've been with a player, you know the whole game. so b, thank you for finding me. thank you for making me realise not everybody can be a good person, in this cruel world; especially someone who seemed as sweet and sensitive as you. i hope one day you change. and i hope one day i do too. and maybe we'll meet again someday. part of me hopes we will. but until then, carrying on being the bad boy that gullible girls like myself think maybe they can stand a chance, until you ruin them. and I'll carrying on being the good girl with newly found bad reputation. maybe ill find a lot more people like you. and maybe ill give them another chance. but then it'll be my fault all over again.
just because i was naive, doesn't mean i was powerless. you should've checked who i was, before you tried to mess with me. because believe me, I could make your reputation a whole lot worse.
sincerely,
just another girl on your list of victims. except this time, i got rid of you.

[coziest]

dear universe,
i am so mad you. so mad, and sad, and confused. how dare you take ollie from me after everything else i've been through with my family. ollie is my cat, my only comfort at times. he's been there for me for nearly 4 years. this is so unfair and i don't know how to stop hurting.

- k

[mariage sorcière]

Dear G,
Why did you have to die?
- Someone you wouldn't approve of now...

[Fwutter]

Dear mom,

At this point, I don't know who's being selfish. You don't want to change jobs because you are happy doing this one, but you get paid less. When you get paid less, we get less food, lesser things, some things I dream to have I know I won't be able to get until I move out the house. The house has so many problems and I'm tired of being afraid to do anything at night because of our insect problem, I really wish you could just get a new job, I know you're happy with this one, but you're being paid less and I just hate eating the same thing over and over again. I'm sick and tired of it, please mom, get a better paying job, I know you're "happy" with this one, but sometime we have to push ourselves to get the things we need instead of the things we want. I miss our life before you got laid off your job.
I'm tired of eating the same thing, I'm tired of going a whole day eating only one thing or nothing at all, I'm tired of having slight sleep issues because I began to think of the many things wrong with this house. I know it's hard taking care of three children but mom I am begging you. Please get a new job. Please.

Love, Arie

[King Andre]

dear IU

.....that....really didn't help im sorry, but it's spooky how well I can predict things, or
i suppose cause them? that'd be a stretch, and i don't really believe in that mumbo jumbo
but it's worked out like this the whole time so...maybe i should LMAO in either case, you
could thank me for trying. you've had this problem for like, what, 5-6 months? in all honesty
you really called this like..that day, or i guess night not sure why its such a big deal now.
esp considering you told me you'd long accepted that fact. well i can see why, because it's
tangible substantiation to everything and not just... you know, careless expressions.

even still, you're smart enough to learn from past mistakes, especially considering the same problem
inadvertently caused well, you know. of course, there's also the new problem it brings, and im not
sure how well you'll do in the face of that possibility, especially with being egged on. which you might
admittedly deserve amigo. still, there's two (three?) possible ways this could end, and if its not too late,
observing your past faults and swallowing your pride will lead to the path you'll begrudgingly have to
accept as the best possible one. the situation sucks i know but, the future is broad and everything may just be
temporary, and if its not then,, you'll still have nothing to worry about as it'll be none of your buisness, right?

it'll be hard and i know, you told me you won't get over it and that's...okay, just don't mess up everything
i helped you build. many things can change, even if they most likely won't, or end up changing for the worse.
work with what you're given now and don't spend so much time worrying about what-if's that you cause those
to actually happen. trust me i know from experience LMAO don't think about it too much,, fr. i know its hard
because throughout the months you got hints that it all wasn't true well... it's a roller-coaster. you know that
and maybe, its just the environment, which is why it may be temporary. or its just how things will be now.
and i guess i understand how it may hurt to know that during that time you weren't the one. or how you
might be confused because things don't add up;; just,, learn to stop questioning something with an answer
that's always changing dude LOL best advice i can give.


goodluck fam. ily

- bro-d

[farewell]

dear self,
your desire to be in control has really done you over.
you need to be in control. somehow, someway, any
way. even if that way is entirely destructive to your
own well being, you think it's the best route to take.
why? there are other ways to achieve what you want.
why do you pick the worst one?

[Livdeer]

I'm sorry for what I did to make you not like me.. or at least not want to be my friend anymore. I barely know what I did wrong. You were really important to me for many reasons, and you still are, but it's clear that you don't want me around anymore. I wish I knew what I did. I wish you'd forgive me and give me another chance. I didn't mean to mess up. I'm so sorry.