Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Al the Dalek » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:26 pm

Stupid Dalek got grounded because I didn't notice the time on the clock at a friend's house...so forgive me for sub-par entry-ness, I just had to give you a Noobcake with the little computer time I have. Enjoyyy.

Dear Noobcake,

So. School today. Was rather...odd. Again.
You know. Because of the fact about half the class got stricken down by the plague.
And I'm serious about that. No joking, because this is serious freaking business.
Well, I was sick a couple days ago. I had to miss a couple days of school (WIN) but I was feeling like crap while missing (FAIL) and now I have a ton of makeup work (DOUBLE FAIL).
Xanri...I don't know how she didn't foresee this, but she went to school after visiting my house that should have been quarantined because of my deadly and horrible and monstrous general blech disease. So she infected many people.
Oh the joys of infection.
No seriously though. SERIOUS. FREAKING. BUSINESS.
I know it wasn't Gothie because the weird wolf never ever gets sick.
Ever.
If the world ended what would be left would be cockroaches, twinkies, and Gothie.
And he would be king of the cockroaches and they would do his bidding and make him a castle made of twinkies.
...I want a house made of twinkies...so bad. It hurts, deep down in my soul.
Maybe I should train cockroaches to bring me food. Then again there is the fact THEY ARE FREAKING BUGS MADE OF PURE VERMIN FILTH.
EW.
ABC gets mad at all of us if we ever right our papers in all capitalized words. And so, I shall write in big letters just to spite her.
SPITE SPITE SPITE. HA HA HA THIS IS FUN AND STUFF. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN.
ANYWAY SINCE SO MANY PEOPLE WERE
You know what Noobcake, I can't do that. It's distracting. I distract myself with my own awesomeness. Because I'm cool like that.
But back to my day, for my day fill you with rapture.
You know, I never thought I would ever use the word 'rapture' in the real world, or at least on paper. Ever. And yet now I have. Twice. Oh the wonders a simple pen and paper can create.
Oh my gosh no that sounds like something ABC would say.
I feel dirty.
But over half of our class was gone as I said Noobcake. It was awesome. And strangely quiet. It was unnatural. ABC had no idea what to do. We were going to have a test, but since so many people were gone he she postponed the test until next week.
Hooray! And she didn't even prepare a lesson for the day. It was a huge test that I didn't study for since I've been absent.
Of course, I used my time wisely. I studied for the test and made up my homework. And then the stone wolf smashed into the classroom, ate ABC, and started throwing bunches of flowers. We frolicked about around a fire as we burned the desks. It was amazing, especially when I gained the magical ability to shoot rainbows out of my eyes whenever I hiccuped.
Nah, who am I kidding? I spent the whole time drawing dinosaurs attacking a city while Gothie doodled monstrous sea serpents in the harbor in a picture in his atlas.
Gothie got detention for "defacing school property." I got off scot-free because I'm so cool it projects a field of concentrated coolness that shields me from bad tempered bats like ABC.
Please don't read this ABC please don't read this. PLEASE PLEASE.
But something else happened. And it was a good thing a lot of the class was missing because I think there would have been a full scale riot otherwise.
Police officers entered our classroom. "As you all know," one of them said, rather importantly. "A group of wolves kidnapped a select group of you and were apprehended. Two of them have refused to give up their ways, but the one by the name of Metallic, who did escape once, has. After much bargaining and agreements to community service, Metallic has reentered society."
Beauty's former friend who came to the mall with us when we got the call about Emrr's attack spoke up. "Why are you telling us this?"
The answer was apparent when Metallic entered.
She looked even less threatening than before when I saw her, free of her ragged orange suit prison thing.
NOOBCAKE.
DID YOU SEE.
DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST WROTE THERE.
Metallic.
Is.
In.
My.
Class.
And has the desk right next to mine.
She didn't talk at all during the class even after the police wolves left. She just took out some paper and started copying some notes from the book after being assigned it by a weirded out ABC.
Oh joy to the world and everyone in it.
Heck. She seemed not aggressive after she had escaped, but she was still stalker-ish.
Help me. Even though you're a book...in all the books I read the books people have have magical powers. They get it by writing a key phrase.
Like ABRAAAAAKADABRA.
That failed.
Poof.
Lejonkalous.
Fried rice.
Failure like a whailure.

Anyway, bye Noobcake.

Grr. I wish the poll was working for me then I could have some fun polls for this. :D Enjoy fans.
Why yes, I am female. Click on the cake to go to my fictional pet diary!
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Miss Captain Sexy » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:29 pm

And he would be king of the cockroaches and they would do his bidding and make him a castle made of twinkies.
...I want a house made of twinkies...so bad. It hurts, deep down in my soul.

and
Of course, I used my time wisely. I studied for the test and made up my homework. And then the stone wolf smashed into the classroom, ate ABC, and started throwing bunches of flowers. We frolicked about around a fire as we burned the desks. It was amazing, especially when I gained the magical ability to shoot rainbows out of my eyes whenever I hiccuped.


WIN!
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Wild Mothman » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:30 pm

Al the Dalek wrote:Failure like a whailure.

LOL!
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby MochaTheLlama » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:37 pm

I actually laughed out loud while rolling on the floor laughing... I usually just legit laugh out loud. It was... fun x3


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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Steffi. » Sat Mar 12, 2011 3:18 pm

Al the Dalek wrote:Of course, I used my time wisely. I studied for the test and made up my homework. And then the stone wolf smashed into the classroom, ate ABC, and started throwing bunches of flowers. We frolicked about around a fire as we burned the desks. It was amazing, especially when I gained the magical ability to shoot rainbows out of my eyes whenever I hiccuped.
Nah, who am I kidding? I spent the whole time drawing dinosaurs attacking a city.


This. This is too epic. It shall find a spot in my sig. xD
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby WhoLocked » Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:14 pm

Failure like a whailure.

Once more, an epic win for the fail whale. :D
What is life but another story for the ages?
Names no longer matter when those we cared for no longer care for us.
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Spread the FAIL whale.
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Aeli » Sun Mar 13, 2011 2:48 pm

You know, I never thought I would ever use the word 'rapture' in the real world, or at least on paper. Ever. And yet now I have. Twice. Oh the wonders a simple pen and paper can create.
Oh my gosh no that sounds like something ABC would say.

XDD
Are there oceans full of things you'll never see?
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Are there skylines of the cities you don't see?
Is there music, muted, playing underneath?
Is mathematics keeping you from thinking free?
~Lights, White




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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby SavatheWolf » Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:21 am

Al the Dalek wrote:

I know it wasn't Gothie because the weird wolf never ever gets sick.
Ever.
If the world ended what would be left would be cockroaches, twinkies, and Gothie.
And he would be king of the cockroaches and they would do his bidding and make him a castle made of twinkies.


Fave part XD Genius!
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby CanisCoyote » Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:43 am

Ooo I can't wait for the next one! *squees*
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Re: Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Saturday)

Postby Lanton » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:31 pm

I've been reading this story for a while and now that I'm not feeling as lazy, I'll actually post. I've really enjoyed your story so far, and it's made me laugh quite a bit. I particularly like the way Xialburg talks. His voice is great. Keep up the awesome work!
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