TheComfortCorner | V.7

[decembuary;]

very small but i just need to rant

well
the sketching app i use for drawing got corrupted/crashed
at first it was a few sketch files getting corrupted (which meant i lost the drawings) which was very frustrating and angering, but then the program straight up crashed

and guess what
my drawings all got wiped
every single one of them.

all of my hardwork.

[snakescales]

erased

[malkav,]

my grandmother passed away earlier
we were trying so hard to get up to visit her
but it didn't happen
i'm trying so hard not to let things get to me but i'm hallucinating even with my medicine
aaaahaha i can't afford to get worse

[CyberneticVampire]

So my best friends boyfriend is going to be gone till Monday and sure we're hanging out on Saturday but I know I'm not good enough.. I always feel like a third wheel and I know me being there won't make a difference to her because I'm not him.. I'm gonna die alone.. I'll be forever single.. I don't know what to do. I never anyone's first choice.. Sure she told me to come to school tomorrow but that's only cause she doesn't want to be alone.. If her boyfriend was going to be there it wouldn't matter if I was at school or not..

[Sharkbite]

So, this must either sound extremely jealous, pathetic or both. Anyway, I really need to write this down because the last two days haven't been great and I'm stuck somewhere between being desperate and very sad.

So I've been friends with S since a year now and we get along pretty well. It's basically like we're twins or something, I've never met someone who has so much in common with me than S. Anyway, we met online and we have never seen each other in person, which is okay by me. As the months passed, I became more and more attached. I really enjoy talking to her and I think she doesn't hate me either since we text each other constantly.
Here's the downside. Two days ago I learned that S has given her phone number to Person B, who we both know. I also have S' number, so I don't want to complain about that. I know that she gets along with B better than I do, and she likes B. That's great. B is a nice person. But. My problem is that I have this crippling fear of being replaced. I'm so afraid of losing her that I've felt sick to my stomach for two days now and I'm unable to eat. The first night after I had heard that she gave her number to B, I slept for two hours and had a nightmare about being actually replaced. In my dream, everybody abandoned me. People did that to me in the past, I've stopped counting how many times I got pushed away by a friend because some better came into their lives, someone more interesting, someone they had more in common with. I'm happy for them, but it hurts so much.
When we join a group chat, S is always overly excited to see that B is there too. For over a year now I have never gotten a "good to see you" or anything like that. It's devastating. And I don't understand.
In July, I'll be on holiday on the other side of the globe and I most probably won't have any internet access. S said, she's gonna miss me. I don't know if she's just being polite. I'm scared that she will eventually replace me with B, since I won't be able to talk to S for three weeks. Even though we have never met personally, she's my closest friend because we get along so well and if she'd lose interest in me, well…I don't know what I will do.
The thought of being replaced prevents me from actually doing really important things. I can't concentrate on studying, I literally get nothing done because I reply to her messages as fast as I can and I spend my time searching for new things to talk about. I want to keep the conversation going, I literally want to bury her in texts so that she has to keep talking to me. Maybe it's selfish, I don't know.
Every night after telling me that she's going to bed, S stays online on WhatsApp for up to an hour. That has actually never been an issue, but since two days I think she does it because she rather talks to B and she wants to get rid of me. Of course I don't know if this is true, but my mind keeps telling me I'm extremely close to being pushed away again and the only way I can enjoy her company a little bit longer is to reply to her texts the minute I get them.
I'm not mad at B, I like B. We just don't talk that often. I don't know what to do, I just want to have S a little bit longer. I don't want to be replaced again, I don't want to feel worthless again. I feel so bad for feeling this way, I don't want to seem so clingy. I'm so frustrated right now and I feel completely helpless.

[maninkari]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

[your blanket]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

➥ aGH NO TINY EVIL STUBBY NOODLES !!!
Bugs are fine, if they're in my house, nooo, especially your kitchen ahh!
did you find the source of them? aka rotting food, food without a packet, dead animals or just anything edible in general.
you might wanna put a strong cleaner where you think they came from, and where they were, like a 'bacteria-cleaner' you know, the stuff you clean your kitchen with.

hope you feel a bit better,, ;m;

[cinnamonbun.]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

➥ aGH NO TINY EVIL STUBBY NOODLES !!!
Bugs are fine, if they're in my house, nooo, especially your kitchen ahh!
did you find the source of them? aka rotting food, food without a packet, dead animals or just anything edible in general.
you might wanna put a strong cleaner where you think they came from, and where they were, like a 'bacteria-cleaner' you know, the stuff you clean your kitchen with.

hope you feel a bit better,, ;m;

AAAAAAAAA I'm so sorry that would freak me the heck out oh my gosh! Badger is right, you should eliminate the source and eventually all the maggots. On the bright side, you know they are there so you can deal with them instead of them there without you knowing! Hope you feel better :,)

[spooks.]

just got part of my root canal done.
(i was bleeding so much they're making me wait until the 8th to get it finished.)

my mouth is still numb, and so is my tongue. but i can feel small little pricks of pain coming.
i know that once this numbing wears off, it's gonna hurt like freaking heck.

also, i'm so freaking hungry. but i caNT FEEL MY FreAkInG mOUTh.
advice on dealing with root canal pain?

[trans]

dont reply pls



i tell myself not to look at that blog but i cant bc i know people are talking about me there i know it whenever i get told im mentioned on there i Have to know what it said but whenever i see my name i feel even worse and seeing my name so much lately is making me paranoid that everyone is waiting for me to make a giant mistake and i dont know what to do i dont know how to fix it