TheComfortCorner | V.7

[䏠xote]

there's not a day that goes by where I wish he wasn't born.

i had never consciously thought about it before my therapist asked me. "do you think he caused all of this?" no. i didn't think that. not before then. after then, it was different, when i look at him, i feel hatred and pain. when i see him smile, it enrages me. he doesn't deserve to smile. he doesn't deserve to be happy. not after he took everything away from me. it seems selfish to blame someone just for existing, but if he hadn't been born my life would've never turned into the hell it is now. if he hadn't been born i could have been like our youngest brother, alive and happy and full of potential. i hate him for taking that away from me. i hate him for turning my life into a nightmare. i hate him for every day i have to live struggling with ptsd and anxiety and depression and suffering. i hate him for being the only thing i have that has any importance to me.

i hate him. i wish he hadn't been born. i blame him. i blame him for everything that's happened to us.

i just want to be normal, and because of him i can never even possess any kind of illusion of that. never.

[~☾☆Tԋҽ Mσσɳ Gαȥҽɾ☆☾~]

I haven't really have had the best few days... Our only car's hybrid system broke down, we keep constantly having problems with our main computers, and my grandparents keep giving my poor dad a hard time even though he's gone through enough pressure and stress already. We don't even have a real place to live at the moment and we're just living at the same grandparent's house at the moment until we know what to do. I just keep beating myself up (psychologically) about everything, I continue to try and practice my drawing and listen to my classes; but my art always ends up looking wrong to me I guess you could say and I keep procrastinating doing it. I wish I could help my parents, but they tell me there's nothing I can do and I should stop being so hard on myself. I try to stop giving myself a hard time, but I never feel like I'm doing anything right or trying hard enough and I feel like I'm disappointing everyone I speak to.

I have so few people to talk to aside from family and I feel like I keep scaring everyone away because my passion is talking about Christianity and it seems like the very second you mention the word "Religion," everyone sprints the other way and not looking back at the person they were talking to. Either that, or they try to bash and flame you as hard as they can because you believe in Christ. Why?! What have I even done to make so many people angry and upset? I just want to help other people, it's all I've ever wanted to do. I try to talk to people in the most courteous and calmest way possible, I listen patiently to what other people have to say, but everyone seems to hate my guts. I'm so sorry if I've hurt so many people, it's what I'll believe till' I die, and that's what I'm sticking to because its the Truth.

I don't require any PMs, though any would be appreciated,
this was just a vent and I simply needed to get a few things out of my mind.

I'd also like to say thank you again to the few people who have stuck with me
and haven't left, you're all helping me though lots of tough times. Truly,
it's means so much more than you know.

If anyone needs any comfort/advice or want to give
someone a prayer request, please message me if you wish.

[angelo]

i want out
i can't keep doing this

edit ;; ugh i'm crying
i can't be crying
i can't read the freaking assignment if i'm crying
i'm getting stressed over nothing and i hate it which just makes me want to cry more

[arabella !!]

i want out
i can't keep doing this

I hope everything is okay! Keep trying. <3

[cinnamonbun.]

Well, it is not a huge deal, but... I've been wanting it for months... and I don't have enough to give for it now that you are giving it. PM me if you would like more details.

[cinnamonbun.]

Well, it is not a huge deal, but... I've been wanting it for months... and I don't have enough to give for it now that you are giving it. PM me if you would like more details.

[arabella !!]

My dad broke my phone and refuses to accept any blame for it.

Why is he so stubborn.

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you get your phone fixed. <3

[snubbulls]

i owe a teacher money and i have no way to get it. i'm so freaked out about it. no one is buying commissions or characters and i need $20 by tomorrow. thats weeks worth of saving for my family. i have no idea what to do and i'm so stressed.

[Pyjaks]

i owe a teacher money and i have no way to get it. i'm so freaked out about it. no one is buying commissions or characters and i need $20 by tomorrow. thats weeks worth of saving for my family. i have no idea what to do and i'm so stressed.

Can you talk to your teacher and explain the situation? In my experience, teachers are very understanding and accommodating when it comes to money issues. I'm sure she isn't going to try and press you or be angry at you if you explain that you just don't have the means to come up with the money right now! Don't stress too hard, ok? <3

[waspinator]

i wish i had the energy to do the things i love