dear - future me
in the future, learn to treasure what you have and live in the moment. dont get caught up in the little things and enjoy all the good things in your life. because, you only ever really realize how lucky you are to have something, or someone or to be in some place or whatever, until you dont have it or them or that place. you know the feeling of 'if only i,,' or 'i shouldve said,,' is one of the worst feelings you could possibly have, ever. and also learn to communicate better, especially to your friends and the people closest to you. its easy to stay feeling depressed when you dont allow yourself to not be depressed, and for that matter, be less of a jealous person and dont worry about your future despite how scary it is, because people spend their entire lives worrying about how their life will end up till they dont even have a life anymore. no more regrets, no more shoulda woulda coulda's, no more unspoken words, live your life and enjoy it. if you have any relationships with people that you aren't benefiting from on an emotional level, or they're putting you down or not making you any better of a person, cut them out.
learn when to fight to save a relationship, and when to let it go, you aren't interested in stale friendships, they'll only weigh you down mentally. also, stop lying to the people that care most to you. even it's very hard to tell the truth, even if your're worried it'll hurt your relationship with them, try and always tell the truth,, even if one or both of you even up hurt along the way. because the people closest to you can always tell when you're lying to them, even if they don't say it outloud.
if you're..... you know what im talking about with this one, i shouldn't have to say. and above everything else; put yourself before others. you like to tell yourself you already do that, and complain about how selfish you are, but we both know how you can be when you've formed what you think to be a close bond with another person. put yourself first. whether that be emotionally, monetarily, physically or whatever. stay chasing your career and stop being a lazy ass too, you've put too much time into your abilities to let that go down the drain.
good luck. i hope you look back and smile one day, and that you dont need any of this.
sincerely you;
read this in 2020,, or whenever you need it.