by t i r e d. » Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:25 am
I would like some critique please!
Username:Forever_Silent
Link to your form: Posted below
Adoption Agency you are applying for: TAN
Deadline for your form:Not sure....>>
Would you prefer to get feedback here or by PM? Whichever, but PM is best
Picture:
Name: Kumori Neko (Shadow Cat in Japanese)
Species: Maine Coone Cat
Personality: Kumori tends to stick to himself when it comes to crowds, but has a small group of friends that he keeps close. He never acts young, but often envies childish felines the ability. He isn't shy, and when he speaks, which isn't often, people listen. He is an amazing planner, likes everything to go his way.
Likes: Everything going his way, dark nights, chocolate pudding.
Dislikes: Water, wind, those that think they're smarter than him (Mostly because they're not)
Background:Kumori opened his eyes slowly. The dark night outside was lit by the sliver of a moon, the single light that stood out through even the city lights. It's a November night in Eastern Japan, and Kumori is three months old. His mother and the rest of the litter were curled around him, but as always, he was on the edge of their circle, closest to the shadows of the corner. Even as a kitten he had been drawn to them. His mother had often meowed her complaints about his dark gray and black coat blending in too well with the shadows. Often she had said that the only thing that had kept her from losing him was his icy blue eyes, stunning even in sunlight. The house around them was silent, abandoned long ago, but almost always inhabited by cats, mostly from his mother's line. Kumori stood, creeping along the edge of the dim moonlight, and slid out through a small hole in the wall to join the night outside. Almost immediately, he dissapeared, seeming to be only a floating pair of eyes in the darkness. He stalked through the yard, pausing every so often to make certain that his family hadn't awoken. He kept walking, staying in the darkness, freezing at every noise, until he reached a small, boxy home. He leapt smoothly onto a trash can, then to a window ledge, peering in through the window connected to it. Inside, a small family of cats was sleeping around an open fire, most curled up next to toddlers, or vice versa. Kumori watched them silently, his eyes never leaving the kittens. Soon, dawn began to come, and with it, his family's awakening. Hurrying, but with a gait that still matched silk, he trotted home. His family was still when he arrived, none of them seeming to have moved. He crept in, curious, for felines sleep for short periods, and move often. Standing over his mother, her watched her sides, waiting for the taletell sign of her being asleep-her deep breathing. But it didn't come. Previously unnoticed, a scent wafted past his nose. Humans. Poision. The stench was thick, and he immediately began gasping. Outside he ran again, to meet the still feeble rays of sunlight. Death hung about the house in an almost visible curtain. He sprinted away, further and further. In the unfiltered sunlight he was almost blind, so accustomed to night life was he. Panting like a disgusting dog, he finally stopped. His dark fur stood out against the cement, and he was easily spotted. He knew it. He knew it well enough that he wasn't surprised when someone picked him up. Something was stabbed into his arm, but too exhausted to care, he just laid there.
He woke slowly, the medicine was taking it's time going through his system. His forelegs were stretched in front of him, and therefore the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, but he blinked them slowly, not wanting to believe his own vision. His forelegs were striped, and a different base color than his body. As he gained the strength to move his head, he saw that similiar things had been done to the rest of his body. Humans had been the ones to do this, that much was obvious, but no humans were around. He wobbled to his feet, legs stiff from unuse. He leapt to the floor from the counter he had been laid on, and walked right out the open door. No one tried to stop him, and he had the feeling that no one was even there. On the pavement again. The pavement hurt his now sore paw pads. The humans must have done something to them too. He continued padding down the street, in a bit of a daze until once again, he was picked up. This time he fought like a demon, thrashing and clawing with all his might, yet he knew there was nothing he could do but wait once he felt the familiar stab of a needle in his arm. This time he awoke in a cage, smelling of animal fear and sadness. All around him other animals were locked up in similiar cages, and browsing through were humans, acting as if they owned each and every cat and dog. Kumori hissed whenever people came near, scratched them. This went on for months, and any other animal would have been put down, but the staff had grown fond of Kumori, of colorful coat and his obvious fear of humans. They waited patiently with him for a human that would be able to work with him and help him through it.
A picture you drew: OPTIONAL! This will only get you extra credit. You still have to write the rest of the form. COLORED IN LINEART IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. IT HAS TO BE ART YOU DREW FROM SCRATCH.
