Clover-palette wrote:If anyone one remembers me ranting about being stuck in an ICT form which I hate so much we did a test and I got the results back. I got an A and it is typical my highest grade at the moment is ICT- I guess trying to be moved out of my current form is enough motivation for me! I'm WAY above my predict grade and I'm hoping (if this keeps up) it might get me moved. My friend got moved so why can't I be moved...?
But this isn't the main reason why I posting here today. I'm worried for my boyfriends mental health. It is slipping and I'm really scared for him. I have a feeling he has depression but he refuses to seek help from anyone or talk to anyone about it, not even his parents. I have a feeling it is mostly dealing with years and years of emotional abuse from his mum (I'm not going into details because it will break the rules) but he keeps saying it is not. Before he was moved households he always used to rant about her and saying how he hates her. Long story short she lost all her memories and doesn't remember ever being horrible to him (she is nice to him now I guess). He doesn't like being comforted and likes being left alone but it is so hard for me to just sit there and watch him cry his eyes out and trash talk himself for hours on end. I really don't know what I can do, I don't think I can do anything. He also believes everything is his fault.
I don't know what to do and I feel like he is hiding so much from me but I feel like he doesn't trust anyone.
I'm just worried as his grades are slipping and he lacks confidence and believes he is stupid and worthless. To make matters worse I suffer from Bipolar disorder so we often clash. I often lash out at him without realising and I know it is bad when we once got in an argument he compared me to his mother- I try my best but it is hard to understand other people's emotions when you cannot understand your own. I'm so moody and my mood changes so much it is unreal. I can be so salty and snappy, I just end up ruining everything. When I was younger I used to cry whenever I felt upset, now I just pick fights and yell at people. I can't help it, I'm just tired of being pushed around and treated like a doormat but standing up for myself makes things worse.
I really needed to vent a bit- sorry if this breaks any of the rules or something-
I posted before you, so I decided to read your post and it seems heartbreaking to see your boyfriend go through this. I can give you some advice, though I've never been in a relationship before. I might be able to give you some help.
You should really talk to him, because communication in a relationship is important. You should spend some time with him just to talk to him. I wouldn't really blankly blurt out anything about his depression first. If I were you I would start to talk to him maybe telling him how much you love him. Tell him with all your heart how much you love him. Then move on to something like, "You know I love you, but I don't want to you see you getting hurt. I want to see you happy. As long as your happy I'm happy." Maybe that could work a bit. Sorry if this gets into really deep advice, but you might even learn something if so. I don't know what you think or what is in your mind, so I'm kind of going by how I think.
The number one reason people are depressed is they find life worthless and pointless. They feel like living isn't worth it. But really you should tell him there's many reasons and points in life. That life isn't pointless or worthless. You just have to find a point to live, you have to find a reason that you want to be on this planet. And most of all, that if you don't do anything with your life your going to live pointless.
Just tell him these things. Most of all always tell him whats on your mind. That will build trust between the two of you, and soon maybe he will open up to the things he thinks. This might just help.
And talk to him about his mother. I have a step-sister who was abused by her mother. She was taken away from her mother and her mother went to prison. She used to always hate her mother. A few years ago her mother died in prison, she never got to see her ever since she was taken away from her. After her mother's death she realized that you should always love anyone since life is short. They just might be taken away from you forever and you'll never get to realize that you loved them until their gone. Nothing should break the bond between a parent and their child no matter what.
I'm not sure what kind of person you are and what kind of person your boyfriend is, but the key thing to a relationship is communication. And I hope my advice helped. I really don't know anything about relationships since I've never been in one.
You'll be in my prayers, I wish the best!