leverage wrote:Nothing seems to be going right, or even okay.
I'm managing my grades, so I guess the important part of my life as a college student is fulfilled, but everything is just so upsetting.
My anxiety is through the roof. It has been since coming back to campus, and it doesn't help that my dad lost his job over break.
I feel constantly tired. No matter how much I try to sleep, I spend more time thinking or crying than I do actually sleeping. I'm always sore, always thirsty, and at any moment feel like I could either fall asleep in the middle of class, or just start crying.
Everything is so stressful right now, and there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever. I feel like at any given moment I'm either making a fool of myself or teetering on the edge of a breakdown.
And there are other...outside factors. Waking up and reading the news every morning really doesn't help, not when everything is so broken.
I just want to go home...but I live 10 hours away. And if my dad finds new work in a different area, which will most likely happen, we'll have to move; and since I'm a full-time student, I won't have a home. The only time I've been happy that I can remember was seeing my friends from high-school, but there's every possibility I'll never see them again. I won't have a place I can call my own- sure, there's that crap about home is where you're family is and all that, but there's more than that. Sure, wherever my family is, I'll be happy to visit them, but it won't be home.
I don't want to lost all I have, but it seems like I'm going to.
Oh, sweetness, I am really sorry!! I've been there, so I know the suck!!
First, drink water and get hydrated. If you are crying all the time, it dehydrates you. I get on terrible emotional roller coasters everytime I let myself get dehydrated. I know it's hard to push yourself to drink plain water, so if you can flavor it with something, do that, but drink!! It will help a little bit, and it will put you in control of something in your life. That was something that really helped me, too.
Next, I wish I could really be positive here, but I'm going more for supportive. They may say that home is where your family is, but that's a load of bull. Home is home. Me and my little brothers were ripped from our home when we were little so that my father and their mother could live their dream. At first it was fun, an adventure, but then it just dragged on. We are still stuck here, and rarely a conversation goes by that it doesn't come up. We all want to go home, though there's nothing there for us anymore. It's been so long. But, home is home. It exists in your memories, in your heart, and while it will never be the same, you can always try going back, or creating a new home. This one isn't easy, so I won't lie and say it is. But I will give virtual hugs. *Huggs*
You really need some sleep because you can only go on fumes for a while. Your grades, your mental health, everything is dependant on you getting the sleep your body needs. Your body aching all the time? Dehydration and lack of sleep. You are pushing it too far... Believe me, I speak from experience. If it keeps going on, you'll get badly ill - something no one wants for you!!
Please take care of yourself!! You are important! And besides, the universe never gives us more than we can handle... But everyone handles it differently. Do what you need to to be safe and healthy.
