TheComfortCorner | v.6

[Pudd;]

My entire body aches from moving all my items and junk out of my old house to my new house. I did it all with just my friend, but we're both in a lot of pain, lol. This is kinda a rant too.

[christina.]

my doctors keep changing my meds and its making me so much worse. my legs hurt more and im just. so much worse

[hollyglow]

I'm so upset. I feel like my whole day was off. We had the class spelling bee, but I'm homeschooled in the afternoon so I had to ask my mom to email the science teacher asking if I could do the spelling bee first period instead. At the beginning of school, he gave me a note saying that was fine, so I went there first period. The note said something like, "go to win the spelling bee first period" because I've won classroom spelling bees the last two years, the county bee one year, and the school bee one year. So, I'd been studying for it last night, so I felt fairly prepared. But I got thrown off my game because they'd already done half a round and I felt super awkward, so I mispelled my first word. And so did the entire class, except one guy. Well, we need to representatives, so someone said, "oh, give her another word!" So I got a second chance. I still felt a little weird, but I figured it was fine.

Well.

I got that one wrong too. Oh, and I forgot to mention---at the beginning of class, I'd left the note on my binder, so everyone who walked past saw it.

So I failed both words, and yeah, they were both hard. I could've spelled every other word anyone got, but no. Regardless, though, the class decided since I won last year I should be our class's other representative this year, so I'm going to the school bee. Which is great, right? I got what I wanted. But I just feel so weird. I didn't win. I'm completely useless. The spelling bee is a big deal for me, and this is my last year, so I'm really stressed. In addition, I can tell my depression is getting way worse, to the point that I really desperately need to tell someone, but I don't feel like I can, because it'll sound stupid. Maybe my counselor, but I won't see her again for three days, and I'm already planning to unload a bunch of stuff about my gender identity on her.

I just don't even want to exist anymore. I feel like the only thing tethering me is my friends and family. Besides that, I'm just so done with everything.

[arabella !!]

my doctors keep changing my meds and its making me so much worse. my legs hurt more and im just. so much worse

-hugs- I'm sorry about that! xc

[rutilant]

If any of you are feeling down and need someone to talk to or just to even vent to, feel free to PM me. I'll try to help you out to the best of my abilities and listen to whatever you have to say.

[Arya22]

I just need to say things right now.

We'll be moving in less than a month. My parents are stressed, yell at my 8 year old sister and me for no reason, but I guess it's not their fault... They're really stressed because they need to sell all of our furniture, since we need the money to ship our stuff. We live in New Zealand and we're moving to France. Which is all the way around the planet. Honestly, we don't have lots of money and they really need it, which is why they get so stressed about it. But it's not fair for us, especially for my sister. Moving is really hard for her. Plus another problem.

The neighbors have two kids, both around the same age as my sister. They are all like brothers and sisters, they play together every day, and have lots of fun. Now their parents are divorcing, and the kids will be moving away very soon. And my sister will be alone, with only me. And she's getting worse, talking back to our parents, yelling at me and them for no reason, and I don't know what to do.

I'm stuck between my stressed out parents and my annoying sister. But she's not annoying as most sisters are, not all the time. She is just... I don't know, she just does stupid things all the time.

And I'm stuck between those three very emotional people, but I'm not... For some reason I don't feel stressed out, which I should. For some reason I don't feel sad about leaving, which I should. Why am I not normal? I should be annoying, doing stupid things, talking back, crying, something!? But I just stay by myself like I'm a blank wall, like I feel nothing. And I'm not quite sure if I feel anything. I feel like a blank wall too. I try to help my parents, but it's never enough. I try to help my sister, she just yells at me. And I'm just... Standing there. Why am I not normal?

[La Volpe]

ugh I feel so ill, I have a nasty chest infection and it sucks...

[A.~]

I just need to say things right now.

We'll be moving in less than a month. My parents are stressed, yell at my 8 year old sister and me for no reason, but I guess it's not their fault... They're really stressed because they need to sell all of our furniture, since we need the money to ship our stuff. We live in New Zealand and we're moving to France. Which is all the way around the planet. Honestly, we don't have lots of money and they really need it, which is why they get so stressed about it. But it's not fair for us, especially for my sister. Moving is really hard for her. Plus another problem.

The neighbors have two kids, both around the same age as my sister. They are all like brothers and sisters, they play together every day, and have lots of fun. Now their parents are divorcing, and the kids will be moving away very soon. And my sister will be alone, with only me. And she's getting worse, talking back to our parents, yelling at me and them for no reason, and I don't know what to do.

I'm stuck between my stressed out parents and my annoying sister. But she's not annoying as most sisters are, not all the time. She is just... I don't know, she just does stupid things all the time.

And I'm stuck between those three very emotional people, but I'm not... For some reason I don't feel stressed out, which I should. For some reason I don't feel sad about leaving, which I should. Why am I not normal? I should be annoying, doing stupid things, talking back, crying, something!? But I just stay by myself like I'm a blank wall, like I feel nothing. And I'm not quite sure if I feel anything. I feel like a blank wall too. I try to help my parents, but it's never enough. I try to help my sister, she just yells at me. And I'm just... Standing there. Why am I not normal?

You are doing better then normal. Do not blame yourself for not covering any stereotypes or expectations of human-being's behavior in a certain situation!
In my opinion you just accepted the thing the way they are and in fact you are doing better than everybody else in your family.
After reading your story i was like ... "God, she in keeping all the things together!"
Think of you as a missing point for a second. If you was not by your family's side now, how would they do without you ever existing? Faaaaaaar worse than you think they are now.
You are doing better then normal, as i said. You are the center of balance and behind the yelling of your parents, they hide their weakness. They need your "unnormality" to support them under all that pressure!
So keep being that "blank wall' you are!

[Arya22]

Thanks A.~
I just want to help them actively...
I guess this sounds stupid. I'm turning to the comfort corner because I want to comfort someone. I want to help my sister who is really sad about leaving New Zealand and really sad her friends are leaving. I want to help my parents deal with the stress of selling our stuff and the move. How do I help them? My sister doesn't want the help. And my parents it's the opposite, it's never enough... Lately I've been working in the kitchen, around the house, doing the laundry twice as much as before. But I feel like they don't even notice it. It's always:
can you make the dinner? I'm on trademe trying to sell our couch.
Or:
Please go down to hang the washing, I have to get the table ready for when the people come to look at it.
I mean, yes, they say thank you, but... I feel like a djinn, that I'm there to help, that I can't refuse. And they have unlimited wishes. Of course it's normal to help them. I know that. But... Please notice me a bit more.
Then again I can't blame them. It's not their fault, it's the moving.
I just don't know what to do anymore, except for staying a blank wall.

[Thalassic]

Iiii feel like trash
I caved in and spoke to my ex again
he was a majr part in my life for 4+ years so I mean
talking to him was really comforting? like jsut seeing his name in my phone again made me a little bit happy
but then learning about how well hes doing in ever way and how everything in my life sucks its jsut

I really hate myself now
I feel pathetic for breaking down while talking to him
and now he has to deal with my emotional baggage and Im jsut
god
I feel so embarassed
so hopeless
Ijsut dontknow where to put my feelings anymore Im so hurt by all of my life and I feel miserable
no one is ever going to love me, I'm going to die alone and miserable, just as Ive always been