_flower.child_ wrote:its 4;30 am
i get up for school at 5
why can't i have a good perspective on things
it's always bad bad bad bad
whenever i imagine someone its ends up in
them dying or something bad happening
i want to go to bed and actually wake up without looking i just went
through an emotional crisis even though i practically did
nightmares everyday i hate it hate it hate it
whats the point of 'having a good sleep' when i wake up
screaming and crying
its all so vivid
so realistic
i cant do this anymore
i guess its coming all true. everyone at school
calls me 'insane' and thats whats happening
my mind is scaring me
i need to get away from it
oh well, in 10 years or so i'll probably be locked in a mental asylum
i'm scared of what my brain is capable of doing
whats it going to do when i do loose a friend or family member?
my brain is probably going to take that and scare me with it over and over
it's like i'm a puppet
i dont want deaths to be used against me
my brain isn't even mine anymore
i feel like i am going to die
helP ME PLEASE
in terms of 'escape', find something that you enjoy doing (say reading or writing) and writing down your thoughts and scrunching them up or blowing a balloon and popping it actually helps. talk to a teacher you can trust or one of your best friends. believe me, i think we've all been through that moment. try to imagine at least 3 positive things a day for about a month and see if that helps.
Spotenya wrote:We have to do this little task where we use kahoot to create questions in one of our foreign lessons. The teacher told us that we could either pair up or work individually on this. I asked my classmates if they wanted to work with me but guess what? All girls were paired up which leaves me the only girl without a partner to work with. I've asked a few boys I wanted to pair up with but again, they were all paired up. Guess I have to work with this by myself, but the problem is..the teacher told us to use Chinese. I never touched on Chinese language in my whole life so practically, I'm incredibly stuck.
We all have that moment when we're stuck. My advice is to ask your Chinese teacher and see if you can stay in at lunch time to get some work done. Maybe you could study but sometimes that never works. Work with a parent and see if they can give you some moral support when your class mates leave you unpaired. Just think that its their loss not yours. Remember that your not expected to exceed perfectly all the time. Give it your best shot- that's all anyone can ask for.
atychiphobia wrote:I feel like I have to know what I want to do in the future. I'm at the age that I feel like if I don't start now then I'm never going to be good at whatever the hell I'm going to be. I don't know if I want to be in the music industry, skin by as an equestrian, try hard and be an equine scientist or dive into comedy.
I already play the piano and ride but otherwise I've done very little. My mother wanted to get me singing lessons but my younger - by two years - sister said I didn't need them, whilst my brother hates me singing. We can't afford it anyway.
If I could get into the music industry that would be amazing. I'd love to get good signing and piano lessons and maybe learn guitar. But I guess life is unfair and when your mother struggles to get by with three kids and not enough income to provide something like music lessons.
It breaks me when people are getting new iPhones all the time and I wouldn't be able to get one for all my Christmas and birthday presents combined. We don't even own a house, why would I be able to get music lessons? After all it's only my success in life.
believe me, im in that same situation. everyone has an iphone and i literally have nothing. its ok though, to not know what youre doing so far in life. its only very few of us who have a good idea about it. if you play the piano, then maybe you could try to write your own songs as a challenge. it might pay off one day if you get to see yourself on the big screen. dont drop horse riding, its one of those important things that not many people do anymore. if you hold onto it and practice it, you might get into the olympics, maybe. just think that while everyone else has that technology, you have other beautiful hobbies that other people could only dream of having. so many people i know would love to ride horses. so in my opinion, its a win-win. good luck.
.kaede wrote:ahahah idk it's nighttime so im bound to be more sentimental but
it's strange how emotions can change so quickly. earlier on in the day i was fine, but i started to cry an hour or so ago, but thankfully i've stopped. asdfghjkl; im tired of crying so much and the year has literally just started if im already crying then i'm pretty much
doomed
like idk earlier todya i was sitting in front of my piano and i was half-crying and half-practicing and i kind of zoned out and had this one thought where i told people that i needed help and they started to laugh at me and idk
the rest isn't really appropriate for cs so i'll just leave it at that
but it makes one wonder if that would really happen
i wish there wasn't a day that wasn't filled with self-loathing
try to focus on the positives of your life, not the bad. if thats hard, try writing down what youre grateful for everyday. we all have that day or moment or week where we all care what people think about us, but really, were just thinking bad things about ourselves. like when you look in the mirror and all you think you see is a failure, but other people see a really big potential from your life. and we dont really listen to those people. theyre not your friends, not your siblings, but your parents and your teacher. so my advice is to start listening more to what they have to say about you and your learning and things like that, rather than your self conscious seems to tell you all the time.