The Story

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The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:12 am

I'M SO SORRY GUYS BUT I'M REALLY, REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS ALREADY
I'M SORRY

But please don't let that put you off! I put a lot of thought and work into this; I'd appreciate some feedback or constructive-criticism c:

If you post it'd be nice if you could disable your signature, but—pfff I don't actually care XD

776 words
Last edited by Ranger of the North on Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:12 am

Away in a manger...

xxxxxBy God’s bidding an angel descended and spoke to a woman. They spoke of many wondrous things, and the girl trembled with the fear and wonder of it all while the trees bowed down to listen, budding joy curling up from their trunks to the tips of their youngest branches.
xxxxxThe time had come, the messenger said, for God’s Rescue Plan to commence. And she, Mary, would conceive and bear forth a son.
xxxxx“But how?” she queried, troubled and trembling like a new-bloomed flower in the sun. “I am a virgin.”
xxxxxThe trees stretched forward eagerly, gentle green fingers anxious to hear every word spoken; would their lord truly come?
xxxxx“Do not be afraid, Mary,” the messenger replied, “for you have found favour with God. You will remain a virgin, yet give birth to a son; his name will be Yehoshua. Emmanuel—God with us.”
xxxxxAt his words the trees rejoiced and clapped their hands, singing with silent tongues as they flung their limbs skyward, praising their lord for deigning to save their crippled planet.
xxxxxPure joy rippled through their twigs; their leaves whispered the news to a passing wind, and deep down in the soil their very roots groaned in ecstasy, crooning it to the passing grubs and grass-shoots.

No crib for his bed...

xxxxxThe grass soaked the news through their roots; heard the wind roaring it to the world as it wound and danced above the hilltops, and their little heads glowed golden in rapturous delight.
xxxxx“The king is coming!” they whispered among themselves, and sighed in ecstasy to think that their lord still cared.
xxxxxWondrous joy was so great in their slender stalks that they danced in the good dirt, flinging their young seeds to the wind that they, too, might hear the good news.

The little lord Jesus lay down his sweet head...

xxxxxPricking their ears, the lambs and sheep of the meadow raised their heads, grass hanging from their mouths like green whiskers as the birds sang out in the dark of night.
xxxxx“It’s time! It’s time! The king comes tonight!” their warbling songs danced over the night-green fields like joyful bells, and the sheep trundled to their feet, bleating urgently for strayed lambs.
xxxxxExcitement and joy tingled like electricity in their wool, setting the lambs dancing with glee as they frolicked down the hillside, calling their shepherds to come pay tribute to the king.

The stars in the night-sky looked down where he lay...

xxxxxThe wind raced through the night, dancing as it whistled over hilltops and down into valleys. Cupping flowers in formless hands it whispered softly to their young buds, singing the Great News with a soundless voice; it danced on the green hills, tickling grass with fingerless hands and humming with the seeds.
xxxxxSuddenly bored, it shot up and swung from the branches of a tree, singing from the roots to the furthest leaf, and the planet trembled with joy.
xxxxxTrilling tunelessly the wind danced across the plains like a wraith, then, with a sudden flare of strength surged upward and carolled to the stars themselves before dipping down and dancing amongst the plants once more.
xxxxxHearing the joyful news the bright stars wonderingly turned their gaze to the scene below, watching as the wind hummed across the land and abruptly stilled, swirling around a small stable with motherly tenderness.
xxxxxMoving with eager speed the stars’ light trickled through crevices in the roof like liquid, peering curiously at the humble baby in the food-trough—and surprise dimmed the yearning light.
xxxxxThis was their lord? Their creator?
xxxxxStirring, the tiny baby opened his eyes a little—eyes that had seen all the glory of God’s throne-room; eyes alight with an unquenchable fire as comforting and innocent as it was formidable and wise—and a small, wavering cry issued from between toothless gums. Small, scrunched fists batted helplessly at his own tiny face, wanting his mother, and suddenly the starlight understood.
xxxxxIt listened, caressing the babe with fingers of light as the wood—the tree—fashioned as a manger sang with uncontainable joy. It watched in wonder as the grass beneath the small body cradled their lord tenderly, whispering amazed words of worship and praise. And, as the lambs nervously stepped forward with their awestruck shepherds, the starlight understood.
xxxxxTheir lord loved them enough to become the humblest of creatures; loved them with such a love that he had arrived with the smallest beginning of all, allowing his creation to welcome him into the world.
xxxxxThis, the starlight knew, was for them the greatest gift of all.

The little lord Jesus asleep in the hay
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Re: The Story

Postby inspiration. » Sat Nov 12, 2016 3:34 am

This is very very good! Your writing makes me feel so cozy >u<

More? o3o
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Re: The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:24 am

Luminosity. wrote:This is very very good! Your writing makes me feel so cozy >u<

More? o3o

Aahh, thanks! :D <3
Hm, could do... I hadn't thought of continuing, but I guess I could do some more of the Bible c:
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Re: The Story

Postby TheSongOfTheStars » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:42 pm

Oh.... I love this. It's got so much meaning packed into it.
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Re: The Story

Postby Nocte Luna » Thu Dec 01, 2016 11:05 am

Really lovely use of personification, I feel like you really used it to your advantage to give more meaning to the work. The use of the word 'joy' (especially for Christmastime) was very strong but not too repetitive. I like the way you separated each section and gave it a different little focus, it made the reading very easy. This is definitely yet another wonderful and descriptive work!
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Re: The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:37 am

Nocte Luna wrote:Really lovely use of personification, I feel like you really used it to your advantage to give more meaning to the work. The use of the word 'joy' (especially for Christmastime) was very strong but not too repetitive. I like the way you separated each section and gave it a different little focus, it made the reading very easy. This is definitely yet another wonderful and descriptive work!

Ahh, thank you! :D I was uncertain about being too repetitive with it, so that's reassuring to hear! Thanks for letting me know :D
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Re: The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:13 pm

TheSongOfTheStars wrote:Oh.... I love this. It's got so much meaning packed into it.
I somehow didn't see this??? So sorry! But thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! :D
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Re: The Story

Postby TzatzikiTheLeg » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:38 pm

Ahh I love this! I love Christmas, so I love Christmas stories!
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Re: The Story

Postby Ranger of the North » Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:01 am

TzatzikiTheLeg wrote:Ahh I love this! I love Christmas, so I love Christmas stories!
Aw, thanks so much! I love Christmas, too :D
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