by dove. » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:47 am
Here is my terrible short story that is supposed to be under 1,000 words for a challenge on a writing website, anyways i would love a little bit of feedback thank you:
I woke up to the sound of Roxi, my pet dog barking. I tried muffling out the sound with my pillow but Roxi started licking my cheeks and cuddling up towards me.
“Oh, alright girl!” I woke up and opened the blinds of my windows only to see it pitch white out. It’s just beautiful watching the snow slowly falling from the sky. I patted Roxi on the head and I pulled off a winter coat from the hanger in my room. I threw it on and lead Roxi to the door so we could explore the snow.
“Isn’t it lovely Roxi?” I said smiling towards her, she was my best friend. We did everything together, now I was just hoping that school would be cancelled today due to the snow.
“Sadie?” I could heard my mother calling from the door with her wearing her cozy robe.
“Mom! It’s snowing!”. I said spinning around in the snow. I felt like building a snowman, but I could see Roxi wanting to go to the park.
“Sadie, it’s cold outside and you have to get ready for school”. I could feel my excitement drown in a pile of disappointment. I sighed and signaled for Roxi to follow me back inside so I could get ready for school.
“Sorry girl, we’ll have to take raincheck”. I said, walking over to the breakfast table so I could eat some food. I didn’t enjoy school that much, since I didn’t really have any friends, besides Roxi, but she can’t go to school with me. After I was ready, I said goodbye to Roxi and headed out the door.
I heard the bell go off, Class must be starting, so I opened the door hoping just to slip in unnoticed but I didn’t.
“Mrs. Larson. What makes you think you can come in unnoticed”. I stopped right in my tracks as she turned around to make eye-contact with me. I was being given the deathly stare. What did I do to deserve this?
“Oh... Sorry, It’s hard walking to school when it’s covered in snow making my feet just freezing cold”. I said giving off a faint smile hoping she would just let me sit down without throwing me under the bus.
“Fine. But don’t be late again”. What a lovely teacher... I slid down into my seat and slouched down in a expressive matter.
“You doing ok?” I looked over to see Colin Graze, staring into my eyes. Why was he talking to plain old me?
“Well, I guess i’m ok”. I said, pulling out my book from inside my desk.
“Alright Sadie Larson”. He said giving me a smile and I could feel my heartbeat outside my chest. I was surprised Colin knew my name since he’s never talked to me before.
“Thanks Colin”. I smiled back at him and looked back at my desk.
After what felt like forever, school finally was over. I couldn’t wait to get back to Roxi, I just imagine her waiting for me patiently to come home and take her for a walk, and her rolling around in the winter snow. I got home and ran up our porch to see Roxi yet.
“Hey mom!” I said wondering if she was home yet from work. I walked into the living room to see her laying on a couch under a blanket covered with a tissue box. Maybe she was watching one of her soap operas? I said to myself.
“Sadie...” I could hear a croak come from her voice. Something was completely wrong.
“Where’s Roxi?” I feel my heart starting to quickly pump faster, I had to think the best. Nothing’s wrong... I’m just being a bit paranoid that’s all.
“I’m sorry Sadie... I didn’t think her sickness would come back... And I...” Her voice cracked and tears flew down her flushed face.
It all happened while I was gone...
“I’ll be back”. I said running out the door, I could feel a field of tears crawling down my face dripping off the side. My face froze from the winter cold and I ran as quickly as I could through the woods.
“Th-this can’t be happening...”. I mumbled to myself as I felt my body drop to the soft snow and a breeze of wind brushed the snowflakes onto my cheeks. I held my knees to my chest feeling my breathe collapsing into my knees.
“Larson? Is that you?” I looked over to Colin standing in the snow with his face covered in his thick coat. What was he doing here?
“Are you ok? Your crying.” He said walking over towards me and sitting next to me. I tried wiping the tears off my eyes but they just kept falling off my eyelids.
I felt myself choking up and the coldness creeping up into my fingertips, I could feel my face flattened by the winter snow.
“What happened?” Colin asked me looking me into the eyes as I turned my head towards him.
“Roxi... My dog... My best friend... She’s gone...” I felt my head cradle into my hands listening to each breathe shielding my ears from the outside world.
“Sadie, I don’t even know what to say”. He said wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer to keep me warm.
“I wasn’t there for her... When she needed me the most”. I said laying my head onto his shoulder pressing my tears down onto him.
“Sadie... I’m here for you, and I always will be. Because I love you Sadie Larson”.
“I love you Colin...” I gently closed my eyes and all I wanted was to remain there in our own Winter Snow.
Because,
Roxie... I love you
You gave me the greatest gift I could have asked for...
A everlasting friendship

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