by Lady B » Tue Feb 15, 2011 4:22 pm
Remember that night, just a year or so ago? You woke up with a warm gust of air from your lungs, nothing too unusual about that. You'd always been a light sleeper. But you thought you'd felt a cold, clammy touch, tapping your rounded shoulders, stroking the warm curve of your cheek. I heard you whisper, "I must have been dreaming." and that is what you have believed, ever since that quiet summer night. But you weren't dreaming. That was me, my dear, my skeletal fingers tip-tip-tapping on the deliciously warm,deliciously alive shoulder that you had shrugged in your sleep, trying to shake me off. But you will never shake me off.. You see, on the day you were born, I was there. Hiding in the corner, tugging at the frayed, rotten fabric to cover my bones a little more. Your uncle didn't see me, your father's eyes skipped over me. Your mother caught just a shadowy glimpse of me, but then she blinked and I was a mere memory. You may not know it, but I have been there since the day you were born. I stay with you, my little charge.
When you were a toddler, when you stood in your crib - painted with pale lemon paint, just like your father wanted - and your chubby starfish hands clutched the bars, I stood on the other side, my bones and what is left of my skin curled around those bars. My hands next to yours. You were too young then to be able to remember, or perhaps you made yourself forget.I just want to hold your warm, blood-beating body close to my own, warm myself, bring a little life back. And one day I will get the chance. I'm going to stay with you forever and always. Once when you were five, you saw me, crouched like an animal on the end of your bed with my bones creaking and rusting, just like usual. My coat was tattered and my empty eyes bored into yours. You knew no words to describe your terror. "A man, a man on my bed!" you screamed, and your mother came running. But she couldn't see me. No one can. She tucked you back in and pressed her lips to your forehead, but I think you knew that I still waited there for you, at the end of your bed. Maybe you thought I was just a bad dream, but I am a bad dream that will always be with you, you can't shake yourself awake.
You stopped believing me, your ghost, the monster who hid in shadows, as you got older, grew taller and wiser, or so you thought. You didn't see me, or at least you tried not to. Remember that shadow shifting you saw out of the corner of your eye, those prickles crawling up the back of your slender neck? That was me, my dear. My rotting fingernails scrawling over those delicate hairs between your collar and your tufty hair, me shifting to stop the cramp in my legs. Then one day, you ran across the road, your soft-skinned feet pounding on the melting tar. After a ball that you'd bought with your own, hard-earned money, but your brother had hit it over the fence. I smiled. You see, I knew this would happen, knew it would happen to you, but I didn't stop it. I did nothing to stop it. Because I longed for it with all of my dead, shrivelled heart. That way, I could always be with you, a constant companion. Then that car came. Remember, my dear? That screeching machine of pale blue paint and glaring headlights, even on a hot July day. And it hit you, and you rolled, and I rolled with you. Because I am always with you. Blood and bones and hair and skin rolled over the gravel, my fingers wrapped in tendrils of your baby-soft hair, my bones wrapped around your midrift. I was finally holding you. We were together.
You see, I am always with you.
My wings grew bright once more instead of the tattered feathers hanging limp from my spine, bright light shone through my empty bones and onto your tattered skull.
I pulled you up.
We drifted together.
I was always with you.
Last edited by
Lady B on Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Every time you break my heart, I fall for you all over again..
