Other girl - Mary [fake]
Don't read the next 2 paragraphs if you don't want a really long story about the history of my problem.
I came to school in year 4, a new kid and everything. I wasn't immediately attracted to this kid, at first I thought he was weird, but he is so funny and nice. That kid is John. Now, at the time, John was going out with Mary. I tried to be friends with her, but she is so freaking bit**y it isn't funny. She went out, dumped, and got back together with John over 30 times. Yes, they both counted. I couldn't keep my eyes off John, 3/4 cause I liked him, the rest because of Mary. So eventually, I went out with John, and we were both happy, he was so sweet to me. Then I find out he was cheating on me [year 5 by now] with Mary. I broke up with him and cried at home. The reason Mary got John was because of her overly large [for our age] breasts. It was disgusting watching Mary twirl John around her little finger. Finally, I got John again after Mary broke up with him. Truth is, Mary never did get over John [she still likes him now, urgh]. Anyway, again, we were happy, all the rest. We had a pool party at the end of school. Typically, Mary wears a bikini to show off her massive breasts. Anywho, this time, John rubbed it in my face. He piggybacked Mary all around the pool, right in front of me, both of them watching for my reaction. Then he comes up to me and says "I'm breaking up with you because I never have a girlfriend during the holidays," What a load of crap. 5 minutes later, and all through the holidays, Mary was his girlfriend. I wanted to hate him so much. So. Much. But I couldn't.
Now. I still like John, and so does Mary. Good thing = Mary is at a different school to us. Bad thing = I still am paranoid that she will get John again. I wouldn't put it past her. Another bad thing = John is dating this girl who doesn't even live in a 1 hour radius of the town we live in! Which means, obviously, I can't compete with her and I haven't even met her. Also, John is such a player it almost makes me sick. Almost. It would make me sick if I didn't like him so much. I really like him, I can't help it. He's so charming. Even when he tells me that i should burn in hell [long story from middle school, but he's joking] the only thing I do is look at him and stop myself from swooning or fainting.
Long story short:
I like John, the player. Mary, different school, also likes John. John is going out with another girl from a totally different city/town.
I like John waay more than I should, after the times he's broken my heart. I can't possibly ask him out; apart from the fact that he flirts with every girl so I don't know if he likes me or not and he has a girlfriend, I've told him an uncountable amount of times that I hate him. Even my parents hate him. I never hated him, but I couldn't possibly let him know that I like him.
What do I do? ;^;