Pound of Hope [Closed; mods please lock]

[Tiikeria]

Tiki loves everyone who is helping critique. :3 I'll see if I can look at someone's tonight.

[Lirrie]

I'd like some critique!
Username: Lirrie
Number of character you're applying for: C60 and F20
Link to form: viewtopic.php?f=58&t=214724&p=7738665&hilit=kirin#p7738665
Would you like critique through PM, or another way?: Pm
critmehplz

[bangarain]

I'm sorry, I fail. ;w; I've been on a hiatus from CS, besides popping on a few times. I'll get to work right away.

[Tiikeria]

It's okay Rainwolf. It happens. :3

[MirrorMask]

My gosh how many pretty donations can there be o-o , defianly going to go for one I 'll be donating soon too :3

[bangarain]

c:

Finished Buecherwurm's critique; going on to another soon. I'm going through the wanted critiques right now, just so I can get a list of who needs to be done.

EDIT~ List updated. I may be able to do Lirrie's, dunno.

[Maddyoll]

Kennel: 50
Section: P
Name: Pixie
Breed: Wolf (Rainbow)
Age: Unknown
Why do you want this animal?&What will you do for this animal?: I will use in in art & RP and I'd like it for those reasons.
Personality: Very happy-go-lucky and nice; but often overreacts to things
Dislikes&Likes: Likes rainbows and everything nice; Dislikes things being mean to her, and things that are bad
History/Backround: A descendent from pixies and faries, pixie grew up on a cloud high up in the sky, once it came to her 2nd birthday, she was slightly brain-washed and sent to earth. There she lived a happy and healthy life.
Art: Will make if I get her
Other: I may add wings if thats okay..


Sorry, I just started apping, and frankly I'm not very good Please PM me

Personality: Very happy-go-lucky and nice; but often overreacts to things even if it's simple like not being able to open a pickle jar. Or catching a butterfly. Otherwise shes pretty easy-going. Does not cry much, but does sometimes..


Dislikes&Likes: Likes rainbows and everything nice; Dislikes things being mean to her, and things that are bad
Ex: She dislikes Thunderstorms, Tornadoes, bad weather, Mean animals, People making fun of her, ...


History/Backround: A descendent from pixies and faries, Pixie grew up on a cloud high up in the sky, always doing nothing and everything at the same time. Sometimes mindlessly watching the humans and other animals, and sometimes day-dreaming about catching a butterfly. Pixie enjoyed sleeping and getting babied by the other Pixies and Faries. But once it came to her 2nd birthday, she was slightly brain-washed and sent to earth by a rainbow. There she lived a happy and healthy life, but often wondering what she did for two years, and who her real mother was.

[Desmond]

Please don't quote your form. >.>;; Octo has the link to the previous one, I should think.

[mokapi]

Kennel: P55.
Section: Common Creatures.
Name: Atom Radon; pronounced "adam" and"ray-don" respectively and often called Ray by close friends.
Breed: Coyote x Belgian malinois.
Age: He'd be considered about twenty-four in human years, so possibly three or four in canine years.
Why do you want this animal, & what will you do for this animal?:
He was a complete show stopper for me- I don't normally go for "unnatural" characters, but an idea struck me immediately and I figured I should try despite the apparently intense competition. He'd go on my character thread- I'm actually making a Yola, so it'll be more permanent- and he'd get art, stories, and love! He wouldn't be role-played- mainly because I don't have the attention span to really focus on it- but I would be more than happy to post stories and such about him if I did by some chance win.
Personality: wip.
Dislikes: wip.
Likes: wip.
Background:
The time it took Them to break apart our riot was a blitzing moment. The jaws of their hoses were flung into the crowd and the caustic aerosol slithered through us; the searing gas turned a previously patterned motley crew of united patriots into a melee of terror. I felt the brunt of it blister down my throat before turning tail and, despite tripping over my own legs and nearly succumbing to suffocation, escaping from the horrific burst. Cries swam through my ears; some were incoherent screams, but others revealed what had occurred: Pyro. Tasteless but acridly scented, it was a deadly weapon- one that debilitated our previously powerful group.

Doc Larson said I got lucky, real lucky. I must have been on an exhalation when the sulfur gas caught me in the face. I can assure you that I definitely didn't feel like there was anything lucky about my turn of events- crawling pitifully to Larson's step, unable to control my stomach as it purged itself again and again. I don't remember how long it took him to find me, but I do remember the look on his face when he did.

"Oh, Jesus! What the hell happened?!" He didn't require a legitimate answer, and if he had, I wouldn't have been able to give one. I could barely see- my body was trying it's hardest to save my sight by causing a near-constant stream of tears to glaze my eyes. We did talk later, and he let me hear the news broadcast, but that wasn't for days afterwards. From that point, I remember things in painful clips. According to Lars, I was pretty heavily sedated for a week- my body needed time to heal without me turning into my own stumbling block. I don't like being held up, never have, so I suppose it was for the best. When I did wake up, however, I immediately wished that I hadn't. The pain onset was immediate and I swear the only thing I had to look forward to every day was the morphine. I could have kissed Lars every time he shot it into my IV.

The first time I realized something was irreversibly wrong was when he walked into my room and stood at the edge of my bed, a sad, shallow frown wringing his dark skin. "Atom." The use of my formal first name collected my attention and, still in the throes of sleep, I made a sort of questioning grunt. "Open your eyes. Can you see?" I did as I was told.
"To an extent. Details are blurry but I think the Pyro fogged them up."
"It did more than that, I'm afraid." God love the man for being so black and white. It's a trait I can appreciate, as I'm much the same way. "Your eyes have suffered miosis and while you have temporarily retained some vision, you do have corneal damage. Your body will heal from the attack, but your vision will not. What you're experiencing now will eventually worsen- whether or not you will go permanently blind...that's something I'm not sure of yet."
I swallowed uneasily and shifted in the bed, wincing as the fabric rubbed at my limbs. "And my burns?" I knew I had them, there was no doubt about it. I wasn't naive to the effects of mustard gas, only to what degree I had them. Doc's moment of silence didn't help my anxiety.
"The ones on your back, tail, and right leg will heal. You'll eventually grow back the fur over the scarring. Chemical burns are ugly, but with the proper care and treatment that are just that- treatable. However..." he moved towards me and gently peeled the sheets back, revealing my left leg. I squinted in an attempt to focus, gritting my teeth. All I saw was an angry mass of red, black, green, and yellow. It looked like someone had vomited pus. I retched; both the sight and smell were disgusting. "Some of your leg has already necrotized- bits of the black- but these are blisters called bullae, and they are extreme sources of infection. You said you ran, but clearly the mustard gas hit you harder on this side. Perhaps you pivoted, perhaps you were simply fortunate...but this is the only spot on your body where it is this bad." He paused momentarily before continuing. "The only option to save any of the leg is to minimize spreading on the infection is to keep it localized. It is spreading, but I've pumped you so full on antibiotics that it's slow. I don't think it's gotten much farther than the hock. With your permission, I'd like to put you under and amputate immediatel-"
"You want to saw off half my leg? Are you serious? Can you imagine what that would cost me?"
"It's the only option if you want to save any of it. Yes, it will cause a drastic lifestyle change. I doubt you'll be able to head your meetings any more, at least the ones on the field. But it's either this or your life. The infection is contained for now, but "now" will only be until it mutates against the antibiotics, and then it will spread to your organs and your body will completely shut down. You will become septic. I know you're not new to Pyro, Atom. As soon as you're a bit more healed, we'll have to start more tests to check for cancer- your white blood cell is still too high from these infections to give me any good readings, though I've tried. I'll need your consent, Atom, and I'd prefer it sometime in the next few minutes to give you, and myself, the best chance. I'll give you some time to decide."
And with that, he was gone, sweeping out of my room in his long blue overcoat. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but my decision was clear. I didn't even notice half my leg's absence when I woke up from the surgery.

WIP.

[Maddyoll]

Please don't quote your form. >.>;; Octo has the link to the previous one, I should think.

-_-"
Sorry, usually I see people that do so I thought you should...
I'm new at all this O.o