bubble9001 wrote:Key:
C-My best friend
J-Best friend's cousin
Hello, I am currently in a very hard situation. I'm going to explain as best as I can, but it is kind of hard to explain since I'm not really good with explanations... For starters I have a HUGE crush on my best friend's cousin, J. He's six years older than me and I know that it's a potential problem. J is also a partying/badboy type of guy, well tries to be. Most of the badboy persona is all an act and he really is sweet and funny. I'm going to tell you what happened to me the past couple days.
I was at C's house who is my best friend and we wanted to go on a boat with her family. J, C, C's bf, C's brother, C's brother's gf, C's mom, and C's dad, and I all went on the boat. As J pushed the boat away from the dock he smirked and said: "First we have to tickle *my name's* feet" as he tickled my feet which were hanging out of the boat. That was the first day we hung out. The second day we went on the boat again, but the boat started to break down. So while C's parents went to go get some plugs because that's what they thought the problem was J took us out to lunch. C and her bf wouldn't share their fries so J gave me his fries which made me blush. Then he started to tease me because I was blushing and everyone else were just eating while J and I were teasing each other. The next day at breakfast C's family was all talking about how their family robs the cradle since her dad is older than her mother. C's brother is older than his gf. C's older than her bf and J and I were just casually eating our breakfast since we're both single. At the end of the day C's brother went to his gf's house and C wanted to go to her bf's house. So J turned to me and said: "Guess it's just you and me, *my name*." Then C said: "So..I guess I'm leaving.." J replied with: "Yup, she's my date. By the way, your friend says thanks for ditching her" I couldn't stop blushing and laughing. When C was gone J asked me: "Have you watched World War Z yet?" I told him: "No, but I want to" Then he got up 'cause he was going to take me to watch it at the movies, but then the pizza guy came((Stupid Pizza guy)) Then J forgot about it. When it got later he took me home. I know he most likely was just joking around, but I really like him. The only problem is my parents are worried about him being too old and being a party-type guy. Can I have advice please?
It's hard to know how he views you. Being that much older, he may just see you as a little sister. Being older and more experienced, he may just enjoy the fun of putting you on the spot and making you blush without really meaning any of it.
Robbing the cradle is relative - just because one person is older doesn't mean they are robbing the cradle. My dad is 5 years older than my mom and no one cares. I definitely would NOT consider that 'robbing the cradle'. 15 year difference? THEN maybe I would use that phrase. I'm 1.5 years younger than my boyfriend and he doesn't typically date younger women, but to me there's not really a difference at all.
Now, if J is legally an adult and you are not, you have to be aware of the boundaries. I'm guessing you are a teen and he is 20+? To me, the likelihood of him having actual feelings for you is slim. If I had money and was with my friend and her younger brother (he's 4 years younger) and he said he hadn't seen a movie that I also wanted to see, I'd totally be fine with taking him as my 'date', but we would both know it wasn't an actual
romantic date, just accompanying each other. I enjoy teasing him about stuff but I have ZERO interest and that's not going to change.
So I would say - your parents shouldn't worry too much and you shouldn't get your hopes up. Even if by some chance he DOES reveal that he's seriously interested, you might find yourself in a complicated situation where he is more experienced romantically and you are not. Meaning, for one thing, he may be used to *going farther* than you are and going faster with things than what you are comfortable with. I CANNOT imagine wanting to date someone 6 years younger than myself, to be honest. They'd be only 18, fresh out of high school. They would know so LITTLE about the world, being responsible, being an ADULT and it would be hard to relate. They probably wouldn't take things as seriously as me, such as needing to be at work on time or worrying about paying the bills, they wouldn't understand that I don't have summer break, I can't randomly stay up all night just for funsies. He is probably young enough that he doesn't have these burdens yet (especially if he's still a partying badboy), but still - differences will come up. There are many successful age gap relationships, but it's much harder to do that when you are so young.