TheComfortCorner | v.6

[tenor]

continuation of my recent posts..
ive become scared to fall asleep..
the threat of nightmares is killing me..
im afraid of any darkness..
i know it makes me feel like a limp,
sound like a kid, but..
i dont know how to deal with this anymore..

[snubbulls]

Today was terrible.
I had to wear dress clothes for a meeting with the mayor of my town and they show every curve of my body.
I'm too feminine and I hate hate hate it.
My waist curves like a woman's and my thighs are incredibly large for a guy's.
I feel like the guys who flirt with me only do it because I look feminine.
It's so annoying and I hate my body.
I'm an okay weight for my height according to my doctor, but I always feel so fat.
I hate it.
I just want to have a normal body without my stupid thoughts and curves and everything.
I'm sick of being mistaken for a girl at school.

[bearlike]

okay okay. very stupid rant up ahead. i don't need
a reply but if you do that's chill. jdiajs. ;v;
i can't help but feel very self-conscious when i talk
to people. i mean, mostly it's just classmates and
peers i know IRL.

i've been on winter break so i guess this isn't a
problem? i'm okay with friends, yeah. but with
people whom i'm just acquaintances with or
whatever.
someone can say something as a joke, but i'll
take it personally. and change my actions.

or noticing a slight change in someone's messages
which probably means nothing, but taking
it personally and being scared of talking to them.
and when i do, i feel like i'm bothering them.
maybe i am. so i think of why their messages
have changed.

maybe i'm clingy. maybe they've had a rough
week. maybe they never enjoyed talking to
me. bad timing? maybe their thoughts towards
me have changed.
i tell myself it's nothing.
this hasn't happened before to me. this year i've
been feeling very self-conscious? and nervous over
things i wasn't before.

like presentations. yeah, i normally get nervous
before them. but i'm not necessarily bad at them.
once i get rolling, i'm good.
now i find it hard to stare up from my paper, or
the slide without panicking. or feeling self-
conscious about the work i've done. it's so hard.
last year i had no problems like this.
i don't know why. if anyone knows, please tell me?

maybe it's just accumulated stress? my grades
are dropping. it scares me so much. a C-. a
C-. two. of. them. in science. i've never
had a grade that low before. one was for a concept
map. the other was for a culminating task. for
the unit test i got a B. i'm no expert in grades, but
that's gotta look pretty bad on my report card.

i'm not a bad student. generally average, with B
ranged grades. occasional Cs [ not too low ] and
As. i'm not stereo-typically smart. last year, i
had a really tough teacher. and i loved her to be
honest. i felt like i learned a lot. i got good
grades, and that was an accomplishment in her
class. i felt like i was ready for 2017. for a new
grade. but no. i'm doing worse. way worse.
it's not like i don't get the material, it's just that
i have trouble concentrating in class. this has
never happened before. i have hard times finishing
things, and i procrastinate too much. i'm forgetting
things a lot too.

procrastination and forgetfulness aren't too bad for me.
they happen a lot. so, not much to worry about there.
but concentrating in class? i'm not too sure. hhh.
i'm doing bad in school.
what will my parents say?
i normally have troubles in the beginning of the year.
but it's now 2017. this shouldn't be happening.

i feel alone.
there's been some family issues, but they've
been quelled. but things are not back to
normal.

i don't know why this is all happening.
someone please help.

that was my all over the place rant. :')
i'm sorry this post is so long. aa.

[0000007]

not that im expecting replies but if you do please dont quote this

i just kind if want to make more friends but its extremely difficult and I dont want to bother anyone so its like
lol okay
its not even a big deal but it also is
this sinking feeling in my chest won't go away and I just have a strong urge to scream at the top of my lungs. probably because everything seems so wrong lately

[atychiphobia]

yay my friends are falling apart! i try so hard to keep the peace between everyone but why try? i mean it gonna happen anyway. alone forever hehehe

[.zombie]

sorry if i made any mistakes while typing. its hard to type through tears.

school is so stressful, i dont know how im going to survive high school. let alone survive life.
i have two D's and two C's, im trying to raise them up but theres literally no point. semester ends in two weeks.
gpa requirement is 3.7 for my dream college. i wont make it.
i just dont know what im doing wrong. i keep on telling myself ill try as hard as i can but i always fail on myself. i didnt prepare for tests. and when i did, when i studied for about four hours straight, i got a failing grade.
my anxiety doesnt let me confront my teachers.
im a disappointment. im going to die the daughter who wasnt good enough, the classmate that didnt make it. the lazy, fat, ugly excuse for a person. out of all the people i couldve been, im me. why couldnt i have been born smart? what did other people to deserve thier achievements? why did i have to be born this way? i guess "god" decided to make me this way, huh?
maybe ill just yolo my life from this point forwards. theres no point in trying anyway. ill never get into nyu. ill never move up to nyc with my cat. ill never get to experience the beautiful city. ill never live up to my standards. ill never make my mother proud. ill never become an actress, hell, i wont even be respected by anyone. all i wanted was to be cherished. loved. how can others love me when i dont even love myself?


i guess i could beg for money on the streets of new york. ive always loved the bright lights of the city.


i need help. im begging you please

[AuraDragoness]

Right now I am enraged, happy and sad at the same time. What I just read...and what I know is the catalyst of it happening...it really hurts emotionally due to how sentimental the thing in question is to me. I feel even worse for the people that are going to have to suffer because of this, something they love to do...and a bunch of arrogant dipsticks that butt in where they don't belong just because they are bored or find it fun just prevent them from doing it.

*sigh* and what makes it even worse is that no human on the face of this planet seems to accept things for what they are or have open views on things and won't judge others for what they support. No one also seems to have the guts to fight back because they think someone else is going to do it for them.

I've never had the best control over my emotions because of my desire for everyone and myself to be happy and it always seems to come back to bite me every time. I know that the world is a cruel place and you'd think that I'd be more prepared for reality because of it...but that's not who I am, not who I've ever been.

What happened has been going on and has been a looming shadow for the past few years now, prolonged and delayed...but it seems that there's no more running...no more will to fight...just surrender...

...and all I can do is watch in emotional pain as the events unfold. For now it's just one thing but I know that it will become more and more as time goes on, as hate grows; until the very life is choked from the thing I hold close...

But no one seems to care unless it effects them.

[NightmareMooner]

Great... All I heard is noise by my parents, all saw is waiting list this word and also my best friend playing with her new best friend in secondary. I am really stressful...
My parents are arguing.
I can't go to my dream secondary, I am in the waiting list
My best friend go to my dream secondary but I can't, that means we have to broke up.I knew her when I was in primary 2.We are drawing fans,we always draw secretly in classes and we also write books.Her English is good,I admire her.She said our friendship will not end when we met again in primary 4.I believe it...Just that time...A girl suddenly appeared between us,which make our friendship break. I hate that girl so much as I have a great jealous heart between friends. I used many ways to make them break up with my friend who really hate my best friend and she like that girl who I hate.I already have become friend with my best friend again, but I used a lots of time.And now the secondary said I can't go in!Thank secondary school for let me and my friend break up!Now I feel very sad and stressful.My tears kept rolling in my eyes when someone said they go to the secondary.Why am I living in this world?
Someone plz help me.No pm plz,that make me stressful. Thank you

[EmilineRose]

I cant stop crying. >.<
I dont even know why im crying.
All I know is it just wont stop.

[forestfolke]

the fact that i just cried at attempting to socialize with other human beings proves i'm too socially awkward for my own good.
a few weeks ago i cried just trying to use tumblr.

i'm an obsessive crybaby. and yet i wonder why i don't have friends??
good god i need a hug right now