heartsigh wrote:i don't think i've ever felt like a worse person in my life
i met this guy in my class last year and we started talking and dating after a few months; at first, i had such a big crush on him and he liked me too, so we had a flirty kind of friendship which i loved. he confessed that he liked me and kind of just sprung it on me while we were hanging out at a park (that he drove me to) so i just felt that i couldn't really say no, but that it wasn't such a big deal because i did have a crush on him (i mean, you date to see your compatibility, no?) and i asked that we could take it slow and he agreed.
fast forward, i've been dating this guy for around a year now and i cannot over exaggerate how well this man treats me. he's so kind, funny, spends money on me and loves me more than i've ever been loved. he tells me every day about how he wants me to be his forever, and before i used to like it, but recently it's really been... putting me off.
and what i realized, i think, is that i don't love him anymore, even though it's hard to admit. i don't know how but somewhere along the way, his constant presence in my life is something that's starting to drain me. and it's not a negative presence, but i'm just not a person who likes that sort of thing (i'm very much a loner). so my best friends came over for a week from another state and constantly he was getting insecure or sad because i wasn't texting him enough (he'd double text if i didn't text back in 40 minutes). i got snapchat just to keep in contact with one of my old friends and he starts checking my snap score every single hour. if my score went up by 1 he'd ask me who i was snapping. he's jealous of both my friends and any guys i talk to ('guy friends' are off the table, pretty much had to cut off my only other friend at my school last year because he didn't like me talking to him) and i understand he's just possessive, but this relationship is just exhausting me. i'm someone who's used to spending all my time alone and i have no problem with it, but now he wants every minute of my free time and it's something i can't do. the one time i tried to explain that it felt a little overwhelming when he'd double text me how sad he was i didn't respond within the hour he started having a panic attack so i never tried it again and he constantly asks me, crying, if he's annoying me, and i say no because i don't want to make him feel worse.
i don't know what to do. i don't feel like i have a valid reason to break up with him because he's probably the dream boyfriend for some other girl, but i don't feel like myself anymore when i'm with him. i don't like holding his hand in public like i used to and that time i used to enjoy spending with him i feel could be better spent on myself. and it makes me so sad to admit that, because i used to really, really enjoy his presence.
another thing that makes it complicated is that even if i wanted to break up with him i literally work for his parents and his parents are helping contract people to work on my house,, i know that that was pretty unwise of me cause now i'm pretty much trapped but i didn't think i would ever feel this way ;;
sorry for the lengthy post just needed to get it off my chest aslfjlfdgfk,,
Just because he could be the dream bf to someone else doesn't mean he's the dream bf for
you, which is clearly the case, and as such let him be the dream boyfriend to someone else. I'm sure you're already aware that staying in this relationship won't do either of you any good. If he is being possessive, crying over not getting a response, and neither of you can communicate properly on resolving these issues, you'll just end up resenting him (if you don't already), and neither of you deserves that. You're also throwing up multiple red flags from him. A boyfriend shouldn't be possessive, jealous, or so attached that he can't seem to function without you. I take it you're both adults, you either need to sit down and have a conversation with him regarding
your boundaries, regardless of his reaction, or you need to let this man live his life without you so you can go on with enjoying yours properly. As with working for his parents, if they're reasonable people speak with them regarding your feelings as well and let them know what is going on and how you feel. If they aren't reasonable then I'm sure you can sort things out and move on from such as maybe it's the turning point you need.