TheComfortCorner | V.9

[Ambrosia-Saffron]

I told him I cared.

He said "I don't care about your feelings."

[SolsticeTheBanana]

my body is exploding in a mess of stress and heartbreak and no body knows.
i went to "real" therapy. are you proud of me? do you care? you said you did. you said you wanted me better. maybe then you would actually be my friend. i text you and ask you how you are, ask if you feel any better today, even if you never text me. since I started a conversation and i answer your question of how I'm doing with "great : )" you pry for me to tell you what's going on like you actually care. I didnt want you to ask because I knew what youd say. but you would just get more pissed if I didn't answer. and i do, and you say, "go to therapy". there it is. just as I expected. yeah ok what do you think I've been doing for the last two years? hmm. not a clue.
i want to tell you about everything going on, the good and the bad. I miss the nights where we texted silly images for hours on end, or when we helped eachother til 1 am when neither of us had anywhere else to go. I told you you saved my life. you said the same to me. you were the closest thing I had since she left. now I sometimes think I genuinely hate you. I mean, you hurt me. really bad. and then brush it off, it doesnt matter what I feel anyway, right? and now you talk around me like I'm invisible. you literally stare through me. and then there are the days when you laugh and maybe even look at me with something other than dislike and disappointment. and what am I supposed to do? do I forget how you've been acting and return the smile, or do I just stare right through you like you do onto me? i want to forget all the memories of us. all the beautiful times. but the truth is, everywhere i look, present, past, and maybe even future, you are there. and I can't just forget. I can't because you make up so so so much of who I am. you and I, we're like the same person. at least, we were. now? I'm not so sure I even know you anymore.

goodbye. best friend. thanks for the good five years. thanks for saving my life. thanks for filling all the emptiness she left with your laugh and your art and humor. thanks for slowly pushing me away when I started to develop mental health issues again. thanks for replacing me with my other friends and taking them all away from me. thanks for telling me " we need some space, not a lot, but a little" and then dropping me in the dirt right where you found me five years ago. thanks for betraying my oh so hard to earn trust. thanks for proving all my worst nightmares of losing yet another close friend true. thanks for verifying all my neglect issues. thanks for toying with my emotions and the people around me. thanks for making me even worse than I was. thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. you really started off this school year well, now didnt you?

Honestly I could rant for another two hours but who even cares anyway. I love living right now. Really enjoying it.

[hiero]

I am so unbearably sad and now I feel even worse because I tore my stress pillow

[the folly of man]

i dont want to lose you

oh my gosh

i really really dont want to lose you

you're one of the best things that ever happened to me and i dont know what i'd do without you
it was terrible when i thought i'd lost you
but what if i actually did?

[darkin]

i hate feeling nothing.

[Soll]

I was never meant to be born

[lux lisbon]

ghjghfdsfghfjgk lol

[symbols]

.

[i<3 wolves678]

god, I can’t even pull myself together anymore.
I promised it wouldn’t happen again.
Four months that promise lasted.
Now I’m back at square one.

[mean&gay]

my family is fighting again. it's embarrassing and exhausting and i can't even leave. i don't know these people anymore.