♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[6sammie6]

Backstory:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just under 3 months, we have known each other for 6 months
We are saying I love you
We have made future plans about moving in
We are both adults
He lives with his parents
His parents are Christian and Conservative
His parents do not allow him to spend the night with me even though we are both adults
He does not have a job
He does not have a car
I pay for all the dates
He lives 45 minutes away (I am in my car more than I am at home)
I am in college full time and I have a part time job

The issue:
A few days ago we nearly broke up, first I nearly broke up with him because he had continually made decisions at my expense for the past week and was not listening to me when I would tell him that I was struggling, he would tell me that he is struggling too and that he is very stressed about keeping everyone happy. I thought about it and I didn't go though with it, the next day he tries to break up with me, claiming that he is doing it for me, when really I knew that he wasn't. I convinced him that we could work it out because we do love each other and want a future together. However, the next morning he tells me that he is moving to the next city over, which is at least an hour away from where I live, more due to traffic and road issues we have in the city. I told him that he could come live with me, because we planned on living together as it is, he said that he wants to be with his parents instead. Of course I'm very hurt by this, the driving is already driving me insane and I don't expect him to have a car any time soon because his parents have been promising him a car since before we were dating and they tend not to follow through. His parents also told him that if he moves in with me before we get married that they would come take him back (which they can't, that's called kidnapping, even if it is his parents). After all that has happened I would expect him to be doing more to help me, to take some of the driving load and financial load off me but he's going to be making it a lot worse.

He also informed me that he would be moving in with his brother over the summer (3 months). His brother lives over a state away and I live in the west (so that is far). It's like while I'm doing everything to try and keep us together, he's just setting us up for failure because I've told him how much of a toll the driving takes on me. It's like he just doesn't care. and he keeps insisting that he doesn't want to hurt me and that he's going to try not to hurt me when almost every decision he has made in the last two weeks has hurt me, including ditching me to go to a comic con with his friend instead of me (I was sick and he said he would stay in and watch movies with me), not standing up for me when his friend very rudely insulted me and berated me for something I had already apologized for two days before hand, changing the context of our relationship, hanging out with MY best friend without telling me, etc.

I don't know if I'm getting upset about him moving for nothing but I feel like he tries so hard to please everyone but me.

Honestly...I think you should break up with him. There's lots of great guys out there who have jobs and cars and don't have super controlling parents. It doesn't sound like he's making you happy. And it doesn't sound like he's making any attempt to improve the situation. You deserve a boyfriend who cares about your needs and won't ditch you when you're sick.

[_Spinach_]

im not sure where else to post this but id really appreciate advice or anything im stressed and upset over this.

generally my entire life, and im a young adult now, ive not once ever had a crush. ive dated people but never really thought about them romantically until it was revealed they were interested in me. my last relationship (it was a serious one but recently ended) was the same way, but i knew they were interested in me before they told me soni ended up growing feelings for them before we dated. i dont know why i dont experience crushes? ive never fantasized about dating anyone or getting butterflies or flustered. ive generally just been ignoring it because i didnt think it mattered as i WAS in a serious relationship, but since its over the fear of being alone is coming back and i really dont like missing out on this part of life too. i know this isnt a normal thing and its only enforcing my fear of ending up alone.

i dont know if anyone else is like this? or if my brain really is broken? i dont know, but id really like some advice or anything that could help or explain this.

it can be through here or pm, i dont mind which.

Maybe you're aromantic..?
Being aromantic means having little or no romantic attraction to others.
And your brain isn't broken at all!
A lot of people actually feel the same way about dating and don't really feel any romantic connection or don't get butterflies or flustered.
I personally am demiromantic, meaning I only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection (like a strong friendship).
So, yeah, it can be scary sometimes and you may feel like you'll end up alone but just remember that life isn't just "getting in a relationship", there's tones of other things to do, like spending times with friends (friends can give you a lot of love too) or with your family and doing things you love. <3
And who knows! maybe it's just that you're not into dating right now (or that your demiromantic too!), it's totally okay to take your time. If you're not feeling it, don't push yourself.
Hope this helps! ;)

(Sorry my grammar is terrible today, I just had a big exam and I really need to get some sleep XD)

[6sammie6]

Bellapaws, you're totally normal. Everyone experiences romance and romantic feelings differently! The narrative of you MUST have super strong crushes and act super crazy about it is really hyped up because it's good for storytelling in books and movies, but it doesn't reflect a lot of people's experiences.

If you want to have a relationship, ask someone out! It's okay to not be head-over-heels for someone right away. If you pick someone that you think is attractive and that you'd like to hang out with, that's enough. If it works out likely your feelings will blossom over time.

[_Spinach_]

(Sorry if my English isn't really good.. ^^')

I've recently moved to another college (1 month ago), since I couldn't stand the one I was previously in (I had a panic attack almost everyday, I felt depressed and I was sometimes vomiting due to stress and anxiety). And I absolutely love this new college; everyone here is so nice, the teachers are great (well, except for one but that's okay..) and I have made some really good friends!

Aaand among the new good friends there's one girl (let's call her M) whom I think I've fallen in love with. It's the first time I've ever been that much attached to someone in such a short amount of time (me being demiromantic and all that).
We share a lot of hobbies, we both LOVE Disney (she's also a big fan of Harry Potter and I absolutely love to hear her talk about it for hours), we both do art (she creates moodboards and likes to draw sometimes, and I draw), I feel like I can tell her anything, and we never seem to get bored when we're together and she's the sweetest person I've ever known (but she can be very strong too when she wants/needs to).
M experienced the same thing as me in my previous college when she was in 8th grade, so we have that in common as well.
She also tells me things like: "I've never met someone like you" and she always seems to be looking for me after class (or maybe it's just me imagining things and it's just a normal thing for her and does it with other people too..?).

Problem is: I don't know if she's attracted to girls..
I could ask her of course, but the thing is that she (probably) knows that I'm gay so it may look weird if I'm the one asking, especially since we've only known each other for a month. And I don't really feel comfortable about asking about people's sexuality (because it's none of my business).
My self-esteem is also pretty low (and I kinda feel like I don't deserve her love sometimes, but I know it's stupid to think that), I have anxiety, and I can get pretty grumpy when I'm in not feeling well so I'm afraid that she might not like me as much if she discovers that.
So, yeah, maybe I should just wait and see how it goes but if you have any advice I'd love to read your comment!

Thank you so much for reading this huge comment ! <3

[st. serpent]

(Sorry if my English isn't really good.. ^^')

I've recently moved to another college (1 month ago), since I couldn't stand the one I was previously in (I had a panic attack almost everyday, I felt depressed and I was sometimes vomiting due to stress and anxiety). And I absolutely love this new college; everyone here is so nice, the teachers are great (well, except for one but that's okay..) and I have made some really good friends!

Aaand among the new good friends there's one girl (let's call her M) whom I think I've fallen in love with. It's the first time I've ever been that much attached to someone in such a short amount of time (me being demiromantic and all that).
We share a lot of hobbies, we both LOVE Disney (she's also a big fan of Harry Potter and I absolutely love to hear her talk about it for hours), we both do art (she creates moodboards and likes to draw sometimes, and I draw), I feel like I can tell her anything, and we never seem to get bored when we're together and she's the sweetest person I've ever known (but she can be very strong too when she wants/needs to).
M experienced the same thing as me in my previous college when she was in 8th grade, so we have that in common as well.
She also tells me things like: "I've never met someone like you" and she always seems to be looking for me after class (or maybe it's just me imagining things and it's just a normal thing for her and does it with other people too..?).

Problem is: I don't know if she's attracted to girls..
I could ask her of course, but the thing is that she (probably) knows that I'm gay so it may look weird if I'm the one asking, especially since we've only known each other for a month. And I don't really feel comfortable about asking about people's sexuality (because it's none of my business).
My self-esteem is also pretty low (and I kinda feel like I don't deserve her love sometimes, but I know it's stupid to think that), I have anxiety, and I can get pretty grumpy when I'm in not feeling well so I'm afraid that she might not like me as much if she discovers that.
So, yeah, maybe I should just wait and see how it goes but if you have any advice I'd love to read your comment!

Thank you so much for reading this huge comment ! <3

ah i know this feeling all too well :( and it sucks if you're prone to stress and overthinking like i used to be!
anyhow what i'm trying to say is, i know how u feel bb

imo i think you should just wait a little longer than 1 month tbh, not only for you to become more comfortable for
asking m, but also for her to learn more about you and vice versa (in a positive way ofc). as fast as one can feel so
attached to someone, time is still a real thing haha, so i think you just have to wait -- all the while getting to know
her better. i'm not saying you're rushing things ofc, but don't jump into things too quickly if you ever come to a
situation that doesn't really require rushing into things

one thing i did to my bf before we started dating was i would casually slip a statement that indicates my bisexuality
in a normal conversation hskhsdskdkd and after a while i asked him something along the lines like "u know i'm bi right"
thank heavens he was the braver one and after a few months he said "i think i'm gay and i think i like u"

u could try that if you're ever as desperate as i am hahah jkjk. but hey, if she's accepting to all sexuality i think stating
your own won't be much of a problem, but don't force this though! letting m know of your sexuality should be v natural
and 'fluid' if u get what i'm saying

has she ever ask you your sexuality (explicitly or implicitly)? if so, i think it provides a common space where you can
ask her of the same thing? idk, it may seem rude i know, but you could ask her when you've known her a little longer.
i know it's easier said than done bb -- but that could be eased through getting to know m longer, allow yourself to be
more open & vulnerable when with her to let m know that she's truly a friend and that bringing up personal questions
such as that may not seem like a very strange thing to do. sexuality should not be and never is a problem -- so if you
ever have the bravery to ask her, let her know that you're not going to make it a problem; let her know that no matter
what, you'll be there for her

i know i don't give the best advices, but i just want to let u know that it's natural to feel these kinds of emotions haha,
i just want to say that this whole thing can be stressful only if you let it, so always be in control and in touch with your
surroundings and feelings! i know playing the waiting game can be v tedious, if not, painful, but time is a v v v essential
thing for any kind of relationships, so use it to your advantage bb; further your current relationship with m before a new
one branches out of it, get to know her better so that it allows her to get to know you too! i'm sorry if this doesn't help
but i hope it does, even remotely. good luck bb! + i'm v happy that you to found an environment where u can feel at peace
and content (bc trust me, i know it's hard for someone with low self-esteem) aND ALSO found someone you feel comfortable
with, even if it's platonic atm

and ur english is wonderful ok -- no need to feel critical abt that

[Panther202]

Just so you know ya'll the only reason I haven't been giving advice is because I don't want to give the wrong advice. I don't want to put an idea in your head for an area that's unknown to me <3

[obliviious]

4th day of school and i already like this one boy c,:

i had a public holiday on monday so that was okay

[vash ♡]

golly.... ive known this girl a month officially now and i have been trying to get rid of the crush for half that amount of time to no avail. can usually shove past it. i feel pathetic. i just got out of a toxic relationship 4 months ago, i could punch myself for this.

[Silver Pandorica]

I think my brain is just bored and wants me to crush on someone tbh. Now that my crush is no longer in any of my classes, I’ve become infatuated with this other guy. I wouldn’t call it a crush, persay...just infatuation. He’s in my art class and likes to draw, which I actually haven’t seen a lot of guys at my school enjoy? I dunno...he’s kinda cute. I don’t really know him, and I’m really bad at talking to people. I’m even worse at initiating conversations and unless it’s a long-time friend, I always wait for someone else to say the first word. And even then, I’m trash at keeping a convo going. I want to talk to him I guess, but I feel like it’s be weird since we’ve been in the same class for three weeks and never talked. Gosh, I’m just so tired right now. My anxiety’s pretty bad today, but I mean, I needed to get this out there ;w; Sorry if I made any grammar mistakes/it seems rushed.

[_Spinach_]

ah i know this feeling all too well :( and it sucks if you're prone to stress and overthinking like i used to be!
anyhow what i'm trying to say is, i know how u feel bb

imo i think you should just wait a little longer than 1 month tbh, not only for you to become more comfortable for
asking m, but also for her to learn more about you and vice versa (in a positive way ofc). as fast as one can feel so
attached to someone, time is still a real thing haha, so i think you just have to wait -- all the while getting to know
her better. i'm not saying you're rushing things ofc, but don't jump into things too quickly if you ever come to a
situation that doesn't really require rushing into things

one thing i did to my bf before we started dating was i would casually slip a statement that indicates my bisexuality
in a normal conversation hskhsdskdkd and after a while i asked him something along the lines like "u know i'm bi right"
thank heavens he was the braver one and after a few months he said "i think i'm gay and i think i like u"

u could try that if you're ever as desperate as i am hahah jkjk. but hey, if she's accepting to all sexuality i think stating
your own won't be much of a problem, but don't force this though! letting m know of your sexuality should be v natural
and 'fluid' if u get what i'm saying

has she ever ask you your sexuality (explicitly or implicitly)? if so, i think it provides a common space where you can
ask her of the same thing? idk, it may seem rude i know, but you could ask her when you've known her a little longer.
i know it's easier said than done bb -- but that could be eased through getting to know m longer, allow yourself to be
more open & vulnerable when with her to let m know that she's truly a friend and that bringing up personal questions
such as that may not seem like a very strange thing to do. sexuality should not be and never is a problem -- so if you
ever have the bravery to ask her, let her know that you're not going to make it a problem; let her know that no matter
what, you'll be there for her

i know i don't give the best advices, but i just want to let u know that it's natural to feel these kinds of emotions haha,
i just want to say that this whole thing can be stressful only if you let it, so always be in control and in touch with your
surroundings and feelings! i know playing the waiting game can be v tedious, if not, painful, but time is a v v v essential
thing for any kind of relationships, so use it to your advantage bb; further your current relationship with m before a new
one branches out of it, get to know her better so that it allows her to get to know you too! i'm sorry if this doesn't help
but i hope it does, even remotely. good luck bb! + i'm v happy that you to found an environment where u can feel at peace
and content (bc trust me, i know it's hard for someone with low self-esteem) aND ALSO found someone you feel comfortable
with, even if it's platonic atm

and ur english is wonderful ok -- no need to feel critical abt that

Thanks for your comment!

I generally do the same thing as you do; I slip a statement that indicates that I'm gay in a normal conversation. But for now, I just never did that with M, I just never found the right moment. But she's very open-minded, so I'm pretty sure that when I do she will be accepting of my sexuality.
I know time is very essential in relationships, and I really don't want to mess it up so I'll just let time for us to know each other better and further our current relationship.

Your reply really helped, so thank you so much! And I really appreciate the support! <3
Hope you and your bf have a wonderful day!