[mandalorian]

Username: d,va
Name: pluto
Gender: genderfluid
What have they learned about themselves this year?: 497/500

mom and dad didn't understand. honestly, they'd never understand; that's why it hurt. even if they tried, which they didn't, something tells me it wouldn't happen. no one in this family is like me, and trust me, i'm not saying that to be edgy. i mean it. being different is absolutely terrible, and i don't blame people for trying to fit in. i've tried to fit in too, you know. every single day, i try to fit in. be like everybody else, be normal. it just doesn't work out that way, and it hurts.

i was standing, waiting, watching for something, anything. a sign that somebody cared, a sign that i wasn't alone. but there was nothing, and there would never be anything. i felt absolutely alone; and sometimes, that isn't bad. being alone and feeling lonely can mean and be many different things. it can mean that in a crowd of people, you feel alone. in a group of friends, you feel lonely. you're being cheered up, told you're cared for, but you feel empty inside. alone, empty, scared. sometimes, that isn't bad. sometimes, it's natural, and we need to feel that way for us to improve. why do we feel lonely? how can we change that? if we don't figure it out, we'll be lonely forever. that's why it isn't bad; because eventually, we figure it out.

but i was almost alone forever, or i thought i'd be. i felt like i was drifting through space and i was on my way to pluto, where i'd never be found because nobody cares about pluto. which is a total lie, by the way. everybody cares about pluto, even if they say they don't. somewhere in their heart, they care about pluto. i thought i was on my way to pluto, but truth is, i was pluto. i was someone who i thought nobody cared about, when in reality, everybody cared; even if they said they didn't. when my brother calls me stupid, or when my friends joke around saying that i'm dumb or something; they say it, but it isn't true. nobody knows that except them, and what's the problem with that? it's that if you don't say something, they won't figure it out. i didn't figure it out until i was told, so i'm not lying.

i am pluto, and people care about pluto. i guess that's hard to accept for me. it's hard to realise that people do care, you know? especially when you want to believe that they don't, and i don't know why our brains are like that. it sucks, and seems extremely unnecessary to me. but i think, i know, i've come to accept that. so i stepped back. i stopped standing, waiting, watching for a sign that somebody cared. i don't need a sign when i know that it's true. i don't need a sign when i am pluto.

because people care about pluto.
just like they care about me.

Extra:

my first kalon!! i'm so happy i got this one, i oved the story i wrote and i love the design. i really look forward to expanding their character!!