Cole~Sprouse wrote:Hi! I'm having a dilemma or whatever you call it. I have a crush on this boy named Jughead Jones, he's currently in a relationship with a girl named Betty Cooper. Betty and I are good friends, but so is Jughead and I. I don't want to come between them or anything! What should I do?
Sincerely - A confused Veronica Lodge
So, I have an ex, his name is J. We met in 2015 on Instagram, I had commented on his post, asking for a tbh. Which I received one. We instantly hit it off there, becoming instant friends. We dated on and off, but we had dated from Nov 8th to the day after thanksgiving of 2017. All because my other ex, R, had gotten his girlfriend to tell J I was flirting with him. Which he believed, until they never sent proof. A couple days later, he commented on my fake friend's post with the heart emoji, I said some horrible things to him, like go ahead and date all my friends, that's what you're good at and known for. I've helplessly became attached to J because he helped me with my depression and anxiety. We both apologized to each other now, we're currently friends again. I am so helplessly in love with J, I want us to end up dating again, but I don't want anything to happen to cause us to break up, he told me that we should be friends for now. I even wrote a letter addressed to him on this site, I want to text it to his Instagram, but I'm so scared too, I don't want to ruin our friendship by bringing up the past because he hates it.
Sorry this is really long, I just wanted to get that off my chest, if anyone could help me, I appreciate it!m
1) You shouldn't do anything. They're already dating. You need to come to terms with that and get a hold on your crush. Maybe focusing on a new hobby or something will help.
2) From an outsider's perspective, it doesn't sound like a romantic relationship is a good idea between you. Here's why I say that:
- I didn't end well between you guys. There were jealousy issues that it doesn't really sound like you've focused on resolving and combating in yourself.
- He doesn't even like talking about the past. Doesn't seem like a good sign for being open to trying again.
- Being "helplessly attached" to him is
not a healthy phrase. It honestly sounds like your depression and anxiety and his support have turned this into a dependent relationship with you dependent on him. I don't think that's healthy in a friendship, so turning this romantic again sounds like a definite recipe for disaster. He's not your therapist, so don't treat him like one. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, that honestly sounds like a really good idea. A therapist will simply help you find healthier ways to cope with and combat your depression and anxiety and issues that arise because of them.
- He's outright said you two should stay friends for now.
So all that said, I don't understand what your letter says, as you've already confessed your feelings and desires to him. Sounds like he said no, so I think you should stop trying to force the issue. You two are in a good place now. Maybe just work on upholding and strengthening your friendship and getting rid of any dependency issues, yeah?
I know it's hard, but I promise there's so much time out there for you to date - other people who are available and you don't have a romantic history with. You do not have to be in a relationship to be valid, okay? It's okay to just enjoy and harbor some crushes in secret.