New Worlds

[freddie101]

Alright, so there's some editing to be done still but here's the Prologue for a story I'm writing:

Prologue

It is the year 2400. Earth is in ruins, the sky a hazy rust color. A middle-aged man works feverishly at an old desk. He is gasping for breath, sweat dripping off his round glasses. A young man wearing an oxygen mask enters the room through the only door. He glances briefly at the 26 large machines in random places around the room. Each machine is cold and silent, but set to activate soon.
“You should be wearing an oxygen mask,” the young man says reproachfully. “Oxygen levels aren’t safe anymore.”
“No, I’m alright,” the old man answers, still periodically gasping. “Save the oxygen for yourself. I’m almost finished with the Evorsor.”
“Are you sure it will even work?”
“Positive.”
“Why are you creating a failsafe if you’ve already perfected the zirconium compound?”
“Ah, so many questions,” the old man says with a god-natured smile. “My beings are not perfect, just the…*gasp*...compound that gives them life. What if…*gasp*… all the creatures turn out evil? Why, then the…*gasp*… Evorsor will destroy them, so that when…*gasp*… Earth is once again habitable humans will not return…*gasp*… to a world of chaos. Roughly half the population…*gasp*… is waiting in space right…*gasp*… now to come home. I will not be responsible…*gasp*… for ruining out planet with evil.”
“But the escape pod is leaving soon,” the young man protests. “Fail-safe or not, we need to go.”
“You go on ahead,” the old man responds. “I’ll be there in…*gasp*… only a few…*gasp*… moments.”
“Promise?” the young man asks.
“Promise.” the old man answers.
The old man closes the seal on a tiny black tube. His latest experiment, the Evorsor, is complete. The young man is unaware of the completion.
“Come out as soon as the Evorsor is finished, okay? Goodbye.” As the young man closes the door, the older man turns to face the disappearing back of the young man.
“Goodbye,” he whispers, “Son.” With that last gasp, the old man falls to the floor. His glasses shatter, but his son is walking away on the other side of the closed door. He cannot hear the glasses. The old man takes one long, shaking breath on he floor of his lab, then the life exits his eyes forever.

[freddie101]

Chapter 1
In some period of time some unknown number of days or years after the old scientist’s death, one of his large cold machines comes to life. The machine is marked with an “L”. In another building miles away, there is also movement. A human-sized but misshapen creature sits up. A sign with the letter “L” written on it falls off its face. The creature stands, and walks on wobbly legs towards the door to the outside world. Upon opening the door, the creature is faced with the ruins of Earth. A red sky creates a blanket over the twisted metal mounds that once formed a city. Over the course of one Earth month, 25 other humanoid creatures exit the building and walk into the same world as the first creature. Earth is now solely the home of 26 humanoids.

[freddie101]

***

A huge looming beast, the shadow of a monster. The monster moves closer. Run away! Run from the horrid beast! Not fast enough; monster is closer, closer… The slimy jaws open, the tongue shoots out at lightning speed. Almost safe, but not going to make it - the tongue is too fast. Grabbed by the tongue - oh how it burns. Death will come soon. Death -
“N!” a voice shouts. N is jolted from sleep, shaking and frightened. L is calling to him from nearby. L and K are waiting for N, so that they can head back to the Colony.
N walks from a damp, tiny cavern to a huge open cave where all other tunnels end. The connected cave has been the team’s base for a week while they searched for lost Creatures. N,K, and L were searching for an expedition group that never returned to the colony. Today is the day the team must return to the Colony— with or without the expedition group.
K and L are waiting for N at the mouth of the cave. L is tall and fair, with a machine gun strapped to her back. K is short, his eyes slightly wide-set, with a constant hint of a smile. Both K and L can only be described as sack-people. N is the same, but gray and serious except for rare moments. N’s one distinguishing feature is his missing left arm, compensated for with a large walking stick.
As N enters the cave, L looks at him with concern. If the expedition group is still missing, they are likely dead by now. The losses will be a heavy blow to the colony.
“What are we going to do?” asks L in a whisper.

[freddie101]

“Our best creatures are out there: G,I,J, and S,” N says. “With only 16 of us, the four of them make a big difference. You know what we have to do. Back home, 11 Creatures are waiting for everyone to come home safely.”
“But...H gave us orders to turn back after a week,” L protests. “We did elect him as leader of the Colony.”
“I know. We’ll be in direct violation of orders if we continue searching. K… well, you know the Colony won’t do anything to him. They can’t, not when he’s… different. But you know what’ll happen to us, right?”
“Direct violation of H’s orders… he’d Banish us for sure. And if any one of us gets killed during an unauthorized mission, who knows what could happen to the survivors,” L answers.
“We’d probably get sacrificed to the Sparkless,” N says grimly. “Come on, let’s go.” L follows N without a word.
“K!” N calls. “Don’t play with those rocks. We have to keep going.” K stands up and hurries to catch up with the other two.
“Home?” K asks.
“No, K,” N replies, “we can’t go home yet.”
“Home,” K repeats, urgency in his voice.
“K, we can’t go home,” L says.
“No!” K is obviously becoming agitated. “Home! Home!”
“K!” N yells. “It’s alright!” N grabs K by the shoulders and stares into his eyes. K stops screaming. “Once we find the others,” N says calmly, “we can go home. Okay?”
“O..kay,” K responds. K seems to understand the situation, which relieves N.
“Alright,” N says. “Home later. Right now, we need to find that expedition group.” N, L, and K leave the cave, entering a dusty red world.

[freddie101]

Two hours after leaving their cave, the party of three arrive at an abandoned city. During the time of humans, the city would have been known as Las Vegas. To the Colony of Creatures, the dilapitated city is simply known as the Fallen City.
N surveys the wreckage of the Fallen City, where the expedition group is supposed to be. At first glance, the city seems as abandoned as always. Upon further inspection, N spots a faint flash of light. Knowing they’ve found nothing for an entire week, N tries not to get his hopes up. A flash of light could be anything in a city of metal. K, however, seems to think of nothing but a rescue signal when he spots the light.
“Home!” K yells, heading for the light.
“K, wait!” L shouts. “We’ve never been in this area before, we don’t know if it’s safe!”
N and L know they have to follow K, so they head toward the still-flashing dot in the disatnce.
N quickly cathes up to K, with L following closely behind. The three Creatures find the source of the flashes together: a long, unbroken sheet of letal being moved by a twitching string. K scurries toward the end of the string, leading the group.
When K finds a gap in the metal wreckage, he stops with an excited quiver. The string delves straight into the hole.

[Dragonfire13]

Really good. Will you continue?