*critique me* (you post, I critique)

[Cadin Araceli]

Hey! I am going to be back now!!!! I am so sorry I have taken so long to get back on the ball! The critiques for everything I have now should be out before the end of this week! (by friday to be exact).
IF I miss your piece, PLEASE pm me and I will get on it right away!

[Cadin Araceli]

Emo-Angel's 1st poem

It doesn't actually make sense until the last line, and even then, when re-reading it, it just seems like pretty lines thrown together for me. Make your theme, the purpose for writing the poem, more obvious in the first stanza. It will help make the flowery language make more sense and give it meaning. But if you can do that, I would love to see how you continue on!

[Cadin Araceli]

Emo-Angel's 2nd poem

This poem has a lot more of a central theme, which I love. I do wish there was more too it though, it would help it give more of a message if you could add more detail and a story. But this is a really great start, and I hope you continue on with it!

[Greenleaf]

Hello!

I hope this isn't asking for too much trouble, but could you possibly critique my short story? uwu
It is a bit a long, so I gave a link to it instead. Thank you for this, though! <3

[Anthem of Angels]

I would like it if you could critique my story. Here is the link ... The Story of a YellowJacket Wasp.

[Cadin Araceli]

Eyes of Fire

It has a really good start, but I feel like I am missing part of the story. Was it the challenger or the challengie that died? How does this brave warrior feel about this wake of death he brings? Why is he like that? ect. ect.
The rhyming is effortless and wonderfully done, and the language seems accurate for the piece.
Still, I would love to see what you happen if you gave us more detail.

[~DavidBryanRashbaum~]

Okay!

[Cadin Araceli]

Hey! So I haven't been getting to it like I should, but I have a good reason!!! My right hand has been...basically unuasable since January. But the doctors say I should get it back in about 3 weeks!!! Hopefully better than before 1

[forever.free]

In My Heart
May you critique this? I'd love to have some advice to make it a bit better. Thank you c:

[Cadin Araceli]

Hey! I am so so SO sorry I have been seriously slacking! I promise this time when I say I am back I really mean it!
I should be finished with the current works by the end of the week! If not, PLEASE pm and ask me to stop being lazy and work!
Thank you all for being so patient!