by 6ad-luck » Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:55 am
maaaark submission coming soon!
Prompt #2, 6ad-luck
Looking in the mirror, I barely recognized the person staring back. The surface was unforgiving as it told me everything; the image surprisingly too grotesque for me to stomach, but like witnessing a car crash, also too horrific to look away.
I hesitantly raised a hand and touched my skin. Rough. Patchy. Speckled with blemishes and as I looked, I noticed it took an undertone of grey. My lips are now chapped; it looks like I haven’t seen a glass of water in years. Weights hung under my dull brown eyes, my eye sockets ever prominent. It was haunting how I could look into my reflection and see the bone structure lying underneath this dying, stretched skin.
My hair, my nails, my body… All the same. I have lost most of my life, something I once held so dearly to me. Long, witchy fingers trailed over my body, I realized just how detached and unfamiliar I had become to myself. It almost felt like I went to bed a year ago and just woke up. It must have been that long since I’ve seriously looked into a mirror, anyway.
I used to be healthy, once. I was a jogger; I did track in high school and even after I ran a couple times a week. I loved fruits and vegetables, and even hitting up the gym to lift weights with my husband. There was a lot I’d do to myself to make sure I wouldn’t die early, and look good as Hell while I was living. Hair masks, meditation, one-thousand-and-one different types of face masks, you name it, I did it. It was my hobby. It was my passion.
But that was quite a few years ago; I just celebrated my 37th birthday last month. And it would be my “last” one.
I took a deep breath and regained my composure. Confidence is needed in a time like this, because without it everything would fall apart.
I turned around and grabbed a scarf off of a shelf and tied it with ease around my nearly bald head. With a sigh, I walked out of the bathroom without bothering to look at myself a last time. Striding into the bedroom, I beelined for the closet. I never could bring myself to tell my spouse about the little safe I had constructed, and just getting on my knees and lifting up the carpet to move the wood panels was enough to make me feel a tinge of guilt.
No, you’ve made it this far; don’t screw it up now.
Snatching a small bag off a hook, I continued on to peek inside the gaping mouth of the rather compact hole. It was nearly regurgitating hundreds of dollars worth of diet supplements and money. Just the smell of the paper melted away the cold feet. Animalistically, I just started grabbing at the cash. Fistfuls and fistfuls of hundreds, aggressively shoved into this little knapsack. I only stopped when there was no money left for me to get my hands on and the space beneath the floor was only occupied by empty bottles.
Securing the bag to my body and standing up, I gazed back at the bed my husband and I have shared for so long. There was a letter I had written, rested up against his pillow, adorned with his name in cursive on the front. It was the last trace of me, and I knew he would keep it in his bedside drawer and read it over and over again, weeping late at night. Nobody would call this weakness; he’d think that I’m dead. Nobody can blame a man for mourning, especially since it was the “cancer” that ripped him from me.
I couldn’t help but to smirk.
Maybe I’ll celebrate my 38th in Cancún.
traditional artist. neutral good. bright eyes fanatic.