- it was so surreal, the day i met You.
words fluttered from your fingertips onto the screen of my phone, and filled my heart with joy. you always had a way with words. they were never restricted nor rehearsed nor proper- they were real. they were the kind of words that could make you laugh one moment, and fill with rage the next. they were unsolicited and carefree, and you were so damn irresistible.
i was skeptical for days. why is he talking to me? what kind of sick joke is this? why me?
it wasn't long until i stopped questioning, and just started accepting. why is he talking to me? he cares about me. what kind of sick joke is this? only one the disturbed understand. why me? i was the girl who'd kiss the ground you'd walk on.
it was so surreal, the day i met You.
you made me show my true colors. you made me tell you every dark, miserable, and undesirable thing about myself. you made me giddy. you made me scared. you made me awkward. you made me feel...like nothing.
and what did you do?
you accepted me. you embraced me. you told me i was okay, that i was worthy, and mostly that i was normal. you weren't scared, you were excited. you were excited to fix me, to correct me- to change me.
i've never been so happy. no one's ever accepted me the way you did.
it was so surreal, the day i met You.
you treated me like a princess. you showed me what it was like to be loved. you showed me what respect was.
i thought we had something- something strong. i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world.
it was so surreal, the day i met You.
something changed. no calls, no texts- no cares. i was left, in an abandoned abyss, guessing. what did i do? what's wrong?
nothing was wrong- i was just a fool. you made me feel loved, and then disappeared, as if i never existed.
i never heard from you again. every night as i waited, hoping, praying for you to say something, anything, nothing came.
i tried my best to reconnect, but you didn't care- i was no one, just another girl thrown to the side.
then i saw you. you looked at me like a child does when they find a lost toy they had forgotten was in their closet. happy, excited-- confused, upset, angry.
i knew you couldn't lie forever. i knew once you saw the hurt in my eyes, you'd cave. i knew you regretted your decision, and i knew you made a mistake.
what i didn't know, was that once i saw the hurt in your eyes, that i'd cave. why was i happy to see you? you left me. you broke me. you forgot i existed.
yet, once i looked into those bright, blue eyes, i wanted to be lost at sea, once more.
i felt as though i had no air, and no escape from you. i'd never be able to just let you go.
then you replaced me, and everything changed. i wanted you more than ever, but couldn't have you. i was restless, relentless, and ravished.
then, i met Him.
we were never destined to be. he was from one world, and i another. we couldn't be together, there was no way possible.
then me pulled me in with his embracing words, and his sparkling eyes. we knew we couldn't but we didn't care.
he spoiled me; he treated me like a queen; he accepted me; he loved me.
and i love him. i do. i really do.
but when i look at Him, i see You.
but when i speak to Him, i hear You.
but when i kiss Him, i taste You.
and i hate myself for it.
a man treats me as if i'm the only woman who's ever walked the earth.
a man treats me as if i'm the most beautiful being.
a man treats me as if i'm the light at the end of the tunnel.
but i'm not. i'm just the world's luckiest girl, who ended up with the world's unluckiest boy.
i'm lucky to have him, but he's unlucky to have me. i'm just a girl in love with two boys.
one who treated me like nothing,
and one who treats me like everything.
