Name;;Allein
Gender;; Male
Biggest fear;;
Though Allein usually appears quite relaxed during the day as he goes about his life, he is under near constant stress from his debilitating fear of the unknown. Anything that falls outside of what he knows leaves him in a panic that makes him freeze up and hyperventilate, often causing him to feel as though he can't breathe or is having a heart attack, which only further increases his panicked state. Because of his fear, Allein doesn't deviate from his set paths. He's lived in the same apartment for years, travelled the same route to the same job he's held for almost just as long, and only ever shops at the same handful of stores that he always has.
Allein doesn't change his routine, as unfamiliar situations and people put him at unease at the very least. Large changes, like if he'd have to move or get a new job, would undoubtedly have him panicking in moments. Even at night as he lays in his bed, he feels dread at the coming day. A new day is new unforeseeable happenings that he has no control over and will not be certain how to act in the moment of. Really, that's where the fear stems from. What started as a sensible fear of the uncontrollable and a nervousness of making himself a fool, has sprouted and spiraled into the irrational fear of anything and everything unknown.
How music affects his life;;
Music is one of the few tools that Allein uses to calm himself down if he gets worked up or if something surprising happens. It's an anchor in his life, and he knows that the music he loves will never change. It's a constant he can easily fall back to, zoning out while he listens to the lyrics and chords that he has long since memorized. Music allows him to block out the noise of the day to day life, he can lose himself in his music and not have to worry or be afraid of something unexpected happening within the music.
Music is constant, and it's one of the few things that his fear doesn't extend to. He has his favorite bands he sticks to, but new albums or singles are something new that he can actually look forward to without any fear.
Personality;;
Allein is usually a quiet guy, most often seen with headphones on to ward off those who might want to start a conversation and to anchor himself to something familiar as he goes about his day. He's fairly unassuming, coming off as someone just shy and preferring to blend into the back. If it wasn't for his fears though, he'd be a talkative extrovert. He wishes he could meet new people and go to new places without the sense of dread and anxiety taking over him and forcing him back within his comfort zone.
He's made a promise with himself that one day he'll try to work through his fears but... Every time he's thought about doing so, he's ended up so stressed from the idea of breaking out of his comfort zone and into the unknown that he ends up needing to take a few hours of self care, listening to his favorite music and comforting himself with his favorite foods, to calm himself back down. He wants to be the person he knows he should have been, but he can't bring himself to make the first step. It's an endless sense of frustration for him.
