Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Xaeli]

dear s,

so i write to you again, well, this is the first time since i got away.
i can't exactly say all this to your face because your the kind of person that would strangle me if i did; but the last few months have been amazing for me, in fact, this is possibly the happiest i have ever been in the last five years. the overwhelming anxiety is ebbing away and i haven't been as depressed. i've even started to write again. i'm actually able to sit down and write the short stories that i used to love. i've also been spending more time with my family and less time stuck in my room having you bully/belittle me through text. i feel like i'm actually living again now that you're not pulling all my strings and dictating everything i do. i never knew that one person such as yourself could shut someone down so badly, but here i am. i survived your trials.


dear willow,

i miss you. indigo and i have been so lost without you and my parents almost let me stay home the day that it happened because i wouldn't stop crying. i hope you can rest easy wherever the after-life has taken you, and i hope that you'll be waiting for me and indie when we reach you in heaven. i'll always remember you hun <3

[coralcoffee]

dear j ,,
im so happy you arent angry at me
your so light hearted - you accept
people so easily im jealous
how can you just throw away the
past ?? it makes me so ,, awe struck
thank you for accepting my dumb
self

im so happy

[kia.]

dear G,
It's been hard on me.. I don't know about you. When everything ended on Thanksgiving, I didn't really feel anything. Then a month later, around Christmas time, it hit me like a train. I realized I wouldn't be able to spent Christmas break with you, snuggling and watching movies. I realized I wouldn't be with you on New Years, celebrating the coming of 2017. Christmas day, I'd just checked out. I was here, but not here at the same time.
A few days later I messaged you, apologizing for whatever the heck I'd done. I just wanted a reason as to why it all stopped. You showed no emotion or care in the world toward me. You simply told me that you were a new person, and you were having a fantastic day. You didn't want me soiling that.
After all those good days I had that I spent listening to you spill your emotions... You had the audacity to kick me away like some piece of trash when I needed help?
Then, a week after Christmas break ended, I went and sat with other people. Your foul attitude toward me had spread to everyone else in our circle. I started getting approached for being too demanding, too bossy, too venomous. Everyone had everything bad but not a single thing good about me.
I guess I couldn't expect to walk out of this school year with the same friends I walked into it with. That's the truth of it. When people tell you you won't have the same friends all through, they're definitely right.
I just wish I knew why.
Why you stopped loving me.
Why you closed yourself off.
Why you closed me off.
Now, nearly five months after it, we still don't talk. If we ever do, I feel like there's a level of hostility to it all. S seems disgusted with me now. Neither of you will hear anything to do with writing or art that is even related to me. I guess that's fine, though. I have a couple of new friends. Those people aren't as venomous as you people are. They seem a lot more accepting as to who I am turning out to be. H is a goofball who seems like the type to get himself in trouble often, but never does. D is the smol gay that is most accepting of me. B is exactly the same as D, just a tad less sharp in the mind.
I just won't permit myself to another relationship, though. Because you've cast this.. prison on my emotions. I can't talk to you and release the rest of what I need to say. I don't know what emotion I'm expecting to feel if someone is really someone I like anymore because I still love you.
I still love you so, so much.
I'm so sorry for whatever I did, even if I don't quite understand it.

[Lady Phantomhive]

Dear, m & d...

You don't know how I feel, you mightn't ever. But I am child of mix emotions. You made me this way! I wake up to you saying I'm a "Worthless" person, I'll amount to "Nothing" and that I was born a "Disappointment" you say them as if these comment go over my head and that I'll take them and use them to build my self "stronger" or whatever you say that makes you feel these are the right words to say to a child as they're having a hard enough time just going to school. You then go on and do what you need to as if you didn't just shatter your child's hope, self-esteem, confidence, and hopes of amounting to anything because the people that their told to look up to are the ones pushing me down! Yous fight everyday, yous complain about each other. Why does it have to be this way, yous hating each other, but trying to stay together for "the children" when we just want to see you smile once again, like yous used to...

Your, lost child

[chon]

dear a,
i actually hate you lol

dear v,
hi ilysm <3 hope you had a good day c:

[hellebore]

Dear you,

Sorry. I hate having lots of friends but I think I need more just to ease the burden off of the only two I have. Just-- sorry. Don't encourage any of my bad habits. Don't question or press. Worry about yourself too.

[tenor]

dear a,
I don't deserve this
I don't deserve you
I don't deserve happiness
Leave me alone
Leave my friends alone
Forget about me
What am I to you?
Just leave it alone...

Dear r,
You don't understand
You don't get it
Just forget about it
Stop bothering me
Stop acting like the victim
None of this makes sense
Just leave me be for a while
I'm sorry..

[leda.]

dear em,
i dont know why im writing this since its totally random but oh my gOD spring break is OVER and i'll have to go back to school and the anxiety is killing me and i think talking to you, even though we're not really talking, helps me. so i have gym tests and school benchmarks and like what is actually happening. so much oh my god i dont even know what im saying BUT SPRING BREAK IS OVER AND SO MANY TESTS.

dear iwaoi,
haikyuu has been slowly creeping up behind me and i've been scavenging for my favorite ships especially oikawa/iwaizumi and like i love those two cinnamon rolls so much i CANT. i think the anime/tv show fandom has been stripped from my life but apparently not bc these two are so cute. why do they have to go to different universities whywhywhywhy haikyuu creators you make me despise you and treat you like scheming and animating geniuses.

[vulture,]

Pvt. Magikarp,
I am so scared. I am struggling so much right now. We aren't even halfway done. We still have 3 months to go. I always say it to you and try to frame it positively, but it is so hard. I tell you everything, but I try to spare the details and specifics of how broken I am. I miss you so much. My heart aches for you. I told you before that I am homesick without you. You took a piece of me with you that morning we kissed goodbye. Getting a phone call every 3 weeks is great, one letter a week is great, but it's nothing compared to having you here. I feel like I'm drowning without you. I am so scared because this is just boot camp. I'm so scared of deployment. We are going 5 months apart now, what happens when you get deployed for longer? You know that I will always be by your side, but I am breaking. I just need you to hold me and tell me that everything is okay. I miss you. I love you.
--Caterpie

Self,
Take a deep breath. Call the doctor tomorrow. You need to get the next test done. Your soldier isn't happy that you've put it off this long. And don't blame being sick. You can't put off finding the cure because of the thing itself. Hold your head up high and keep everyone thinking that you're okay. They don't need to know. You'll see him in 13 weeks, then in 17, you'll be together again. You can do this. Do it for him.

[Kittycentral~]

Dear neighbors from across the street... somewhere,

The music is very disruptive. Getting sleep is a disaster, perhaps turning it down would be more negotiatable? That would be very much appreciated, there's not much I can do to block out the sound, I can basically feel the vibration and I feel as if I'm going to go crazy. Thank you.

- A very cranky neighbor who urgently needs sleep