TheComfortCorner | V.7

[stormy tom]

You know when everything just kinda crashes down on you at once?
Individually, pretty much everything isn't so bad. But it all stacks up more and more frequently these days.

1) Loneliness. I'm not the most social human being, but I do have friends, who I like to talk to. But they've all disappeared. None of them remembered my birthday. I haven't seen any of them for months. On top of that, it's the anniversary of my greatest and most painful romantic screw-up (though I don't have any successes. I'm about as smooth as gravel). So, that hurts too. My poor little rock-solid heart is getting a little cracked.

2) Medical dramas. Being a medical anomaly can sometimes be fun, but often it isn't. I'm getting my pretty regular treatment and just staring down at that port in my body and it suddenly feels so wrong. And this is for life. This ain't going away. And after every treatment I feel like absolute cack even into the next day afterward.

3) The general sensation that what I'm good at is useless. I can draw and write, yeah, but I've never won a single contest. Am I really as good people tell me I am? Maybe there's just always someone better. Forgive me for being hauty and wanting to be the best at something for once in my life. Because if I don't have my art and my writing, what do I have? Foolish of me to base my worth on such things, and I know I'm worth a lot more than that. But it doesn't always feel like it. Because if I'm not a writer, and I'm not an artist, then what am I? What do I have? A few other skills dotted here and there, but nothing as substantial as my art and my writing.

If anyone's got time for me, that would be sooo much appreciated <3
thank you
I just need a hug and some lovin'

[Hark]

i'm not one to usually rant or complain much, but i
just needed to get a little off my chest.

i'm so tired. incredibly so.
and not the kind of tired that comes with a restless night
of no sleep.

my job has been causing me immense anxiety lately, and
on my off days i just want to lay down and sleep, and
thats most definitely not me. this is my favourite time of year
and i just want to enjoy the holidays, not worry about this failing
company, and focus on school solely.

the only problem is, is that i'd have to take out a loan
to pay my rent for the next semester, and that was the
last thing i wanted to do. my fiance is already
in school as well, and has had to take out a loan.
if i could just find out a way to get these next few months paid
for, i think i could finally sleep better and
get back to feeling like my old self again.

im tired of being tired. i'll be fine, but im ready for
a change already.

[dunce]

he's back to ruin my life again
he's back to hurt me mentally and drive me insane, and i wont be able to stop it

well, goodbye to my regular sleep schedule. it was starting to help but nothing good ever lasts for me

[winged-backpack]

don't need a reply, just need to vent - my PMs are always open for anyone or anything

message to myself:
why now? you need to be revising not lying around in bed in m depressed stupor
yeah your grades are slipping and you're probably not going to get into your dream school, tough luck
get on with it, do your work, study and you might have a chance
get off your ass and do it
I don't care if it's nearly 1am, study
study
your first choice, not your dream, offered you a place
but you need ABB to get there
you can't rely on clearing
you don't want to end up at your last choice do you?
it's 94th in the league tables, you can't end up there
study
maybe dream school will offer you a place
if you get off your ass and study it off

[haunting]

body image / dysmorphia tw

i don't understand how i can look in the mirror and see someone
obese, marveling at how i manage to fit in my clothes, desperately
trying to hold myself in a way that feels comfortable -- and then
not even three hours later, lift my shirt and see slender and athletic?
what am i? what do i even really look like? am i thin or not? i don't
even know what sizes to buy because every time i look at my body
it seems to be a drastically different size. sometimes i'll shift in my
chair so much trying to sit in a way that slims my thighs or makes
me seem more confident and other times my legs look like i'm a
malnourished fourteen year old boy. should i eat/exercise more
or less? right now i'm going with more of both but i'm not sure it's
helping anything

[Samael_3]

Its fine to message me if there is any problems you are facing. You can also message me or post on this forum to reply to me. I'll be open to anything you need help with.


Well, I don't know what I'm feeling now because I can't tell. It's pretty much like I have no emotions, I can't tell if i'm happy and I can't tell if I am sad. Though, I bet everyone must go through a moment like this in their life, so it must not be that bad. I know I don't have depression because I just know I don't. There's nothing tragic in my life that happened or any family history of depression, so I know I don't have it.

I feel like I have no clue who I am at all. I feel completely lost. Maybe I've never known who I am, I can't tell, or I can't remember.

I know only a few things about me.
1. I love history/fantasy/gothic sort of things.
2. I'm weird.
3. My self esteem is terrible... Please someone tell me where you buy self esteem on a stick.
4. I don't know who I am.
5. I fear not accomplishing my dream, which is to share my ideas.

Thing is I have terrible self esteem, all my life I've been let down by people who I know made this happen. I'm extremely insecure about my looks and I know I'm ugly. People just don't want to admit that.

I also feel like I'll never accomplish my dream but I know I'm that person that can't give up until I finish.... Yet, with my dream, I don't think I'll ever finish. It's something else than just not giving up 30 minutes after trying to look for a pen. It's different.

I don't know how to share my ideas though. I feel like writing would help. Writing would both mix into my fantasy/gothic/history obsession, but I know I'm terrible at it. Other people even tell me I'm bad at it. It doesn't help with my self esteem because I can't get myself to write knowing how bad it is. Yes, you may tell me I'll improve, but it doesn't look like it.

To add on, my sister also writes and she judges my writing a lot. She can write and she always does it, but I can't. I'm just terrible at it.

How do I share my ideas I'm lost. The world seems to be crashing down on me, I don't know what to do. I hate my life so much, I don't understand really why, it might be my self esteem, or otherwise.

Thing is, I truthfully say this, I'd rather die than not accomplish my dreams. I know it sounds harsh, but it is that way. And I know my dreams aren't going to happen, knowing that, I want to die. I can't help it. I'd be no use anyways. Everyone I know thinks of me as that "other person." Plus my ideas probably aren't even original. My theories are probably the same as everyone else.

Thing is i'm probably like everyone else and don't know it. Everyone probably has my ideas. Everyone probably has my dream. Everyone probably thinks the same as me. I'm probably not different. Yet, I feel knowing this would make me fall even more. I feel like knowing this would make me never accomplish what I want. I know I come to the realization that the difference between people is the decisions they make, but I'm torn apart from this. I don't understand why, maybe it's because I don't want to believe this. I want to believe there's something different to me than everyone else. But I don't believe there is.

I feel like my problems aren't worth being noticed by everyone. I know I'm not suffering as bad as other people must be suffering.
I know my problems are only minimal to the people dealing with depression and/or physical and other emotional problems.

I also feel I'm falling apart knowing how much people think I'll be a success. My cross country coach believes I'll break the record, but I don't believe it. I'm never going to be good enough for this, I know I won't. I don't believe this will actually happen. Plus my one friend believes I'll have such a successful life. I don't want to trust her because she, just like all the fake friends I have, is crushing me down even further.


It's okay if I don't get a reply, I can try to overcome this myself. If you reply, I thank you very much.

[plecostomus enjoyer]

i wish they'd listen to what im saying... i'm heartbroken. not for myself. but for them. i wish they didnt have to feel this way. i wish they were somewhere safe and that these things never happened to them. and that they could finally even understand in the slightest how much i love them. how truly beautiful and wonderful and special and kind and good and beloved and appreciated they are. stop thinking so poorly of yourself. stop it. you're worth more than you could ever know. i love you more than i could ever say. you dont know how it hurts to see the person you love hurt themself like this. you deserve so much better. don't you DARE tell me you dont. i'm mad. but not at you. never at you. i'm mad for you. mad that your family doesnt treat you better. mad that you're in the situation you're in. i want to take all your pain and suffer it instead of you. i want to hold you until you feel safe. love you until you realize your value and start to love yourself as well. i'm crying as i write this. i'm crying my eyes. out.

i feel guilty posting this. because i know they'd hurt themself more for my being upset. i dont want that. i'd never want that. i just want them to see this. and to know my feelings. and to hopefully even start to know they're worth it. that they deserve all the good in the world. it's easier for me to be indirect than to tell them directly. don't blame yourself for other people, or for situations you cant control, or anything like that. dont act like you're some wizard who has the ability to somehow control situations. it's not fair to yourself. dont put that weight on yourself. god you dont need to put anymore weight on yourself. please dont.

but since i know you'll read this, i love you to the next galaxy and back. i'd carry the weight of the whole world for you. i want NOTHING except for you to be happy. i love you, i love your laugh, your smile, the way you get excited about "dorky stuff, your everything. i love you. i love even the things about you that you hate about yourself. you're perfect in my eyes and that will never change. and i hate that i cant fix all your problems and take them away.

[cornspurrd.]

My best friend Is dying..
My little baby, My best friend, My snuggle bug.
My friend Of only 1 year, The One thing that makes me happy
the light of my life, My furbaby.
My Dyson.
He's Dying.

Please Send Prayers.

[onion]

im so sad and so alone and i wish she werent all the way across the country its not fair nothings fair

[d o e]

I hate that I'm such a perfectionist.
I'm trying to keep my 4.0 GPA so I have a better chance at getting into the vet tech program and I'm so so so nervous I've messed it up this semester, even though I'm trying my best. It still doesn't feel like enough...
I'm stressing out over my math final. When I think about it, it feels like I know the material, but there's just so much to memorize.
30 questions worth 10 points each, and each one is from a different section. It's way too much. I know I'm going to mess up...

I'm really upset that my grade in my computer class is below 90%, even though I didn't miss too much. I'll have to double check the grades tomorrow, because it feels like I'm missing 5% of the points...

Why am I like this??