Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Flowerbud X.]

Dear Sweets,
I will be back in an hour or two, I promise.
I was getting annoyed at a few people who kept
saying some things to make it all worse on your end.
I know the list isnt as bad as it could be.
And some part of you probably enjoys it.
But the you got yourself into this.
That threw me over the edge.
Increasing my already climbing rage.
I just need to breathe for a few.
- X

Dear Self,
Don't lie. You know you're starting to put up a wall.
Slowly becoming more hollow.
You can either let the wall down or let it continue to climb.
Either route has its own amount of pain.
Its your decision. Choose.

[Swirlshine]

Dear G and H,

Stop it. I've had enough. WE'VE had enough.
You guys act like you're so kind and respectful of everyone, but I know that's a lie. Just a cover-up. You've been secretly talking about my best friend behind her back, saying she's purposely trying to pick a fight. And she doesn't like it at all.
Yeah. Don't think we don't know. We do.
H, you literally made stupid assumptions and called my friend things she's not.
And G, on top of talking about her behind her back in a rude manner, you're also forcing people to be like you. And calling what we like "trashy", and "displeasing".
We respect what you like. Now respect what WE like.

If all this goes on much longer, I'm done. Through. I won't hesitate to stand up for what I know is right, because I know that what YOU'RE doing is absolutely wrong.
So take my advice, and leave my best friends alone for good. And everyone else as well.

-S

[XONVii]

Dear B,

I was introduced to you through a mutual friend and you looked so nerdy in all that emo band merch and talking about geeky things but even then, you were the coolest person in my eyes.
You were an upperclassman so I was kinda shy.
The summer after I had met you, I had posted a con picture of my cosplay and you commented on it saying that I looked adorable and that you loved me...
That meant to world to me at that time.
I saw you in the halls every single day but I never had the courage to go up to you and say "Hey, long time no talk."
But all of those chances were washed away in a heartbeat...
You were gone...
I still can't accept it...
This loving girl wiped from the face of the earth with no sympathy from the Reaper.
You didn't get a second chance that day.
I learned you passed away the other day but only yesterday was I browsing through snapchat looking at Rest in Peace posts about you that the shock had settled in and I broke down then and there in the middle of a bowling ally in hysterical tears.
I just wish I had gotten to know you better. You were so cool, but I hardly had the chance to even say a simple "Hi".

It's going to take a while for me to fully accept what's going on and only time can tell when that's going to happen.
But for now,
I'll be happy.
Happy that I had met you.
Happy that you gave the world all of your love.
Happy that you made a whole room light up with your smile.
Happy that we connected over quizzical things.
I'll keep your memory happy instead of drowning in denial and sorrow.
But, I wish you only the best in whatever place you are right now and find peace.


I miss you
I love you

Goodbye.

-E

[♡Mewlin♡]

This will be quite a sentimental letter, as this letter is quite literally one I cannot send. People can't read if they're dead, y'know.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hi. It's been way too long since I've written or talked to you, and I'm sorry. I've been kinda busy with myself lately, which.. I'm sure you know. I'm sorry. I feel like a disappointment. I know you probably never wanted your daughter to come out this way. It makes me feel bad knowing I've more than likely put you to shame with how I've turned out. I'm sorry. That's all I really have to say. I'm just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you both dearly and I'm just sorry for turning out so horrible and rotten. Please. Forgive me.

-M

[Vixem]

Dear Me,

You’re meant to be excited about moving, not nervous!
You’re going to be leaving behind the house which held
so many bad memories and events.

You’re finally moving to a safe place!

You’re going to catch the train every morning to school
instead of driving in a boring car.

Don’t you see how fun this will be?

[ℋoney]

dear mom,

i'm vary angry right now.
i considered screaming but i don't want to scare you're boyfriend away
i banged my head in to a wall but there is a pimple there that hurts
i held my breathe but got dizzy and light headed
i almost broke a drawer but i have self control and know not to
i thought of explaining it to you but every time i though of it my head boiled and i began to dig my nails into my hand
i thought of writing a letter but wasn't sure if i could put the words together

you take her side, you let her do as she wishes, you listen to her not me. she is you're best friend but she is my sister and you're mother.

a few days ago you saw someone walking around town with a crop top on and said, "thats way to short! i better not be seeing you wearing something like that or ill lock you in the house!" while i sat in my sweatpants and baggy sweatshirt with a short sleeve under it.
today and for the past few days I've watched as you happily said a "see you later!" to my sister as she struts out the house in a short skirt green crop top that cuts off just below her breast, along with some black tights.

and you don't say anything?

a week ago we went shopping for me as my closet is full of sweatpants, joggers, the same cut t-shirts from Aeropostale with sweat stains as they are the only shirts i own and have owned from the beginning of this school year (different colors and designs on the shirt at least)
we went for me.
she came along and tried things on, she grabbed what i was interested in and she bough cloths while i bought nothing.
we went for me? while she walked out with a bag in her hand that contained another short black skirt and a knotted blouse.

you bought it for her.
yes you were annoyed after i had explained that we went for me and she has much more cloths than i do, yes you made her pay it back, but what ever happened to locking us away if we walked out showing that much of our torso up... or is that just me? the one who leaves in either sweatpants and a sweatshirt or the one pair of jeans i own (two now) and well again a sweatshirt with a sweat stain shirt under.

why is it just me who cant feel nice in their own body.

i don't dress for others, i don't wear heals and 'showy' clothing i don't take an hour to do my makeup, in fact i don't wear any. why can't i appreciate my body, me, myself. why is it so wrong for me to have decent clothing, i'm not asking for crop tops or short black skirts that's not my thing. i'm asking for more than two pairs of jeans that barely fit right because of how my waist and rear fit them. i'm asking not to be told to wear something i'm not even interested in. i'm asking to also get the right bra as the one i wear now is my sisters, its laced purple and to small for me, i want a tan blank slated bra one that fits so do not tell me not to get a push up laced bra for that is not who i am nor what i want.

stop painting me to be someone who seduces others when i wear sweatpants and sweatshirts to cover my body so people don't say anything to me.
stop painting me to be the girl whose on every guy at school when i'm trying to get you to meet someone i've talked to since December who i haven't even hugged who is a huge nerd who has a family that keeps him on track to his future who ask to even hold my hand who is in the friend group that i am in who still stutters when around me who is scared to say anything to much to scare me away and understands that i don't want anything more then a best friend right now. he is someone who understands that i could be somewhat asexual but doesn't mind it.
stop painting me to be someone whose going to dress up every day with tight cloths that show 90% of my body, when i ask for nice cloths i mean shirts that don't have sweat stains and at least have a different look to them and pants that fit right, pants i can wear in summer.
stop painting me to be someone i'm not.

all i am trying to do is feel comfortable in my own body, i don't need someone else's approval to say i look nice as ill look nice and feel nice when i feel and look nice.

ill look nice and feel nice when i'm painted for who i am
ill look nice and feel nice when im able to look at myself in the mirror and smile for no reason
ill look nice and feel nice when i can wear what i want in the comfort of my room
ill look nice and feel nice when i can feel happy when i tell myself "i look nice"

[idyll]

Avicii,

Knowing you're gone, I can't really breathe
I own all of your music, every single song
you've inspired so much for me, gotten me through so many tough times
your music has breathed life into my art and writing, and given me so much hope and motivation
I heard about your death only a few hours ago, and have been unable to stop crying
it may seem silly, I never knew you, I've only been a fan, a distant admirer
but I never realised how much your music meant to me
how much your presence has affected my life
if I needed motivation, or to cheer up a little, all I had to do was play one of your songs
as someone with a chronic illness who is essentially afraid of everything, you've done more for me than you know
you have given me so much happiness through song and I wish there was a way for me to thank you
I want you to know how you've touched my life and I hope somehow you can hear me, wherever you are
thank you so much, Avicii
thank you for everything you've done for me that I was too shy to thank you for before it was too late
at least now I know, as you said in "Wake Me Up," you will have your wish to stay forever young

You will be forever loved

Randí, one small fan who you brought hope

[cloud cover]

v,

wow i like you so much but you don't acknowledge my existence and I'm too shy to say anything so i guess this is just how it'll be :')
i find every single little thing that you do so cute and its making me sad that you won't notice me and that i won't do anything about it haha
i hope you have good days ahead of you and that you're happy <3

- j

[forgive!]

dear vince (me),

SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT UR HATRED OF THE RAMONES!!!!!! SHUT UP U DUMB BOY!!

sincerely,
vince

[Languor]

dear XXX,

you did it.
you made me this angry.
you always act like you're the victim
"hi XXX, I'm calling you
because I'm feeling pretty down
and I want to talk to someone"
I say
and you respond
"you think you're upset?
how about the fact that
I broke up with my boyfriend two years ago
and I'm still pretending to be emotional about that"
I can hear your fake crying through the phone.
it doesn't sound remotely real.
even through the phone.
and now you're the victim.
and now I can't express my problems to you
because you
refuse to believe that
you are not the victim of anything anymore
because the problems you "sob" about
are resolved, and
they
are
over.
so I hang up.
you call back and scold me
for hanging up on you
and I say
"this was two years ago
I don't care about these problems anymore
you're planning to do something
and at this point
I don't care what it is
I just want you to
stop."
and you tell me I'm a terrible friend,
that I should listen to your bullcrap
and that I should be more caring
and I say
"I don't care about anything anymore."

I'd call you a snake,
but snakes in the human sense
are more trustworthy
than you
you dreadful, disgusting, deceitful drag on my life.

~playwright