♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[gummyspoon]

so i was talking with my friend, a somewhat close one... turns out she likes the same person i do.
and i don't know how to take it. it's rough and i just,, dont know what to say. it almost makes me feel like crying.
could i get pmed some help, possibly?

[passione]

i got into a relationship a month and a half ago and i was very happy. I'm so in love with this guy. He's accepting and understanding and he knows how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling with a simple glance. Lately... I've been falling apart. I feel like our relationship is falling apart with me. I feel like he doesn't love me. Not as much as I love him because I just can't stop telling people how beautiful he is. How graceful and how lovely... I'm absolutely struck with him. It's like he makes the stars align.

But I find that I'm third wheeling him and my ex... I find that he doesn't hold me the way he used to and he's starting to bug me about taking our relationship to the next level. I haven't stated my discomfort, but he's seen it. I'm afraid of being used again. Half a year ago, I got out of an abusive relationship where my partner would always guilt trip me into doing things I didn't want to. He'd always try to change me. I don't want that to repeat since it hurt so much... But I don't think I want to talk to my boyfriend either because of how he might react. I don't know if he'll call me overdramatic or dump me or anything. Maybe I'm just paranoid or something idk

[FLYBOY]

Heyy, so I really need some help. I'm catching feelings for my best friend and I dunno what the hell to do about it.

Some context: we've known each other for going on a year now, been becoming closer and closer friends lately. We have a ton in common and get along great as friends but there's been nothing between us besides some flirting here and there, but that's mostly jokes, as far as I can tell. We're both bi and both cool with dating other guys so that ain't the issue.

Problem is, I have no idea how he feels about me. I'm TERRIBLE at reading people's emotions when it comes to stuff like this. When I find out someone has feelings for me, it's always a huge surprise, because I'm totally clueless about it. Sometimes he'll say things that make me think he feels the same way, but then he'll go and say something else that's the complete opposite and makes me think I shouldn't tell him. I haven't been able to get this off my mind lately-- I really want to tell him, and I'm really hoping he feels the same way, but I dunno if he does, and I'm worried that I might weird him out or scare him off if he doesn't feel the same. I don't want to lose a friend because I couldn't keep myself from being stupid like this.

We're pretty close. Trust each other a lot. Hell, when his ex was trying to get back with him he even lied and said he had feelings for me and we'd probably start dating- but it was just to get the ex to leave him alone, as far as I'm aware. I doubt he would have been as comfortable telling me that if it was true. We've chatted about relationships and stuff before (not in a context of dating each other), and we're both looking for very similar things in a relationship... but he spends a lot of time talking about other people he's somewhat interested in. But then he never does anything about it, and rarely even talks about the same person more than once, so I know he's not serious about dating any of them.
I could go on but there's just too much stuff and none of it makes sense. All kinds of mixed signals.

So what should I do? Tell him, and risk losing one of the closest friends I've ever had? Or keep it to myself, and risk never knowing whether he feels the same way?

[Banana.]

Heyy, so I really need some help. I'm catching feelings for my best friend and I dunno what the hell to do about it.

Some context: we've known each other for going on a year now, been becoming closer and closer friends lately. We have a ton in common and get along great as friends but there's been nothing between us besides some flirting here and there, but that's mostly jokes, as far as I can tell. We're both bi and both cool with dating other guys so that ain't the issue.

Problem is, I have no idea how he feels about me. I'm TERRIBLE at reading people's emotions when it comes to stuff like this. When I find out someone has feelings for me, it's always a huge surprise, because I'm totally clueless about it. Sometimes he'll say things that make me think he feels the same way, but then he'll go and say something else that's the complete opposite and makes me think I shouldn't tell him. I haven't been able to get this off my mind lately-- I really want to tell him, and I'm really hoping he feels the same way, but I dunno if he does, and I'm worried that I might weird him out or scare him off if he doesn't feel the same. I don't want to lose a friend because I couldn't keep myself from being stupid like this.

We're pretty close. Trust each other a lot. Hell, when his ex was trying to get back with him he even lied and said he had feelings for me and we'd probably start dating- but it was just to get the ex to leave him alone, as far as I'm aware. I doubt he would have been as comfortable telling me that if it was true. We've chatted about relationships and stuff before (not in a context of dating each other), and we're both looking for very similar things in a relationship... but he spends a lot of time talking about other people he's somewhat interested in. But then he never does anything about it, and rarely even talks about the same person more than once, so I know he's not serious about dating any of them.
I could go on but there's just too much stuff and none of it makes sense. All kinds of mixed signals.

So what should I do? Tell him, and risk losing one of the closest friends I've ever had? Or keep it to myself, and risk never knowing whether he feels the same way?

Yes!!! I would SO go for it and here’s why:
-you mentioned y’all are looking for similar things in a relationship
-you are best friends, and that’s SUPER important. Me and my boyfriend were best friends before we admitted we liked each other and dating my best has been one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
-you said you’re afraid to scare him off, but if he’s truly your bestfriend he will understand and it won’t scare him, he is hopefully mature enough to handle it
-you said he says things that make you think he likes you but sometimes says things that makes you unsure, again with my boyfriend (sorry we just have an amazing relationship that has a great story to it), when we were best friends he would say the meanest things (of course he was joking but since I liked him I took it to heart) now that we are dating he doesn’t say that stuff anymore. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t care because he did and does.
-you were his go to example for his ex, if he didn’t have feelings (in my opinion) you wouldn’t have come to mind. I think he would have made a fake person but instead he thought of you. You were probably already on his mind in that subject.

[momincharge]

mm, i'm actually reeally happy
with how my love life is right
now. like, i'm not even joking,
i'm actually proud of myself
and i'm happier this way.
feel free to ignore, i don't care

my ex-girlfriend dumped me
a while ago, lying that her
father made her because
we were both girls. that
was only 20 days ago. only
20 days ago! i thought it
had been a month. anyways,
after she broke up with me,
i feel in love with one of my
best friends. after like 15 days
(which is still surprising to me
that it's only been that long
since my ex dumped me) i
figured i was gonna ask. i got
scared to ask, of course, but
then it's like "screw it. she's
offline, i'll be fine." and so
i asked. next time i was online,
i had gotten a reply from her. she
was already 'dating' someone (that
was a lie, i think that she just didn't
want to hurt me. she isn't dating anyone
but she won't admit it.) and i sworn
she said sorry like a gazillion times. but,
i like it better this way. she knows,
it's easier to comfort her (because i
can remind her about my feelings.
its like 'bOi i wouldn't like you if you
were pathetic because you would remind
me of my brother' and usually i leave like
3 flibbing paragraphs saying how amazing
she is and how much i love her and stuff
when i need to comfort her.

me and her are really close friends, and
actually some people came to me and thought
we were dating because me and her say 'ily' a
lot to each other and stuff which tbh makes
me squeal and go like 'ha i wish'. shes seriously
the cutest girl in this world <3

oof that was cheesy
but yet again i am cheesy
pfft ive been writing for
30 minutes- yeet cya suckerz

[WastedSpace]

i got into a relationship a month and a half ago and i was very happy. I'm so in love with this guy. He's accepting and understanding and he knows how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling with a simple glance. Lately... I've been falling apart. I feel like our relationship is falling apart with me. I feel like he doesn't love me. Not as much as I love him because I just can't stop telling people how beautiful he is. How graceful and how lovely... I'm absolutely struck with him. It's like he makes the stars align.

But I find that I'm third wheeling him and my ex... I find that he doesn't hold me the way he used to and he's starting to bug me about taking our relationship to the next level. I haven't stated my discomfort, but he's seen it. I'm afraid of being used again. Half a year ago, I got out of an abusive relationship where my partner would always guilt trip me into doing things I didn't want to. He'd always try to change me. I don't want that to repeat since it hurt so much... But I don't think I want to talk to my boyfriend either because of how he might react. I don't know if he'll call me overdramatic or dump me or anything. Maybe I'm just paranoid or something idk

If he doesn't respect your feelings? If he doesn't respect your boundaries? If he doesn't listen to you? If you can't talk to him? Then he's not the guy for you. He's not that great. You deserve better.

You're totally allowed to be scared to talk about this. Just make sure you're not putting everything on you. If he's really this great guy and your relationship is good, you should be able to not only talk to him but to be heard. You're allowed to take things slow. You're allowed to set boundaries. And that should be respected.

[FLYBOY]

-snip

Yes!!! I would SO go for it and here’s why:
-you mentioned y’all are looking for similar things in a relationship
-you are best friends, and that’s SUPER important. Me and my boyfriend were best friends before we admitted we liked each other and dating my best has been one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
-you said you’re afraid to scare him off, but if he’s truly your bestfriend he will understand and it won’t scare him, he is hopefully mature enough to handle it
-you said he says things that make you think he likes you but sometimes says things that makes you unsure, again with my boyfriend (sorry we just have an amazing relationship that has a great story to it), when we were best friends he would say the meanest things (of course he was joking but since I liked him I took it to heart) now that we are dating he doesn’t say that stuff anymore. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t care because he did and does.
-you were his go to example for his ex, if he didn’t have feelings (in my opinion) you wouldn’t have come to mind. I think he would have made a fake person but instead he thought of you. You were probably already on his mind in that subject.

Thanks for the advice!
I did end up going for it, we were chatting late at night and the topic of dating and relationships and stuff came up. Nothing was said outright at first, but what he said sort of encouraged me, so eventually I worked up my nerve to tell him how I feel about him. Turns out, he was in almost exactly the same situation- he was trying to talk himself into telling me too, so that was a huge relief to hear. We both had a good laugh about how long we dodged the topic because we each thought the other wouldn't be interested, and we're officially dating now.
Only problem is we have to keep it to ourselves, at least for now, because some of our friends would judge us pretty harshly for a number of reasons. But we can worry about that later, right now I'm just happy and very glad I decided to say something.

[Ventru]

my partner just said he likes someone else, but he still loves me. he said he liked her first back at the start of september, but then took it back around halloween, saying he didn’t anymore.

surely if you “love someone with all your heart” you wouldn’t develop feelings for someone else.. especially if you knew your girlfriend was an emotional and unstable wreck who depends on you and puts her life in your hands, no?

he says he would pick me over her, but i don’t believe him. why should I when he never keeps promises and lies to me

People can't control their feelings. If you're past that honeymoon stage it is possible for your eyes/mind to wander and wonder what it would be like with someone else (especially if it's someones first relationship). Even if you love your current boyfriend/girlfriend, it can happen.

However, what you can control is how you deal with those feelings. It is a good sign he was honest with you about his feelings. Communication is very important! The next step is to avoid developing those feelings. It might be best for him to limit his contact with that other person as much as possible, till those feelings fade away (and maybe even after).

What's more worrying is how he never keeps his promises to you.

[/////]

finally gave my crush a box filled with poem and drawing plus number.She was really happy..I am brave.. I really want to make it progress more and ask her out, maybe she can text me if she wrote it on her phone..(:

[WastedSpace]

my partner just said he likes someone else, but he still loves me. he said he liked her first back at the start of september, but then took it back around halloween, saying he didn’t anymore.

surely if you “love someone with all your heart” you wouldn’t develop feelings for someone else.. especially if you knew your girlfriend was an emotional and unstable wreck who depends on you and puts her life in your hands, no?

he says he would pick me over her, but i don’t believe him. why should I when he never keeps promises and lies to me

People in loving, committed, stable, healthy romantic relationships get crushes all the time, so him having a crush alone isn't a bad sign. " However, I am curious as to why you're still in a relationship with him when "he never keeps promises and lies to me"??? I'm guessing it's because "especially if you knew your girlfriend was an emotional and unstable wreck who depends on you and puts her life in your hands". This is called codependency. It's not healthy, and it's not fair to either of you. You need to find a better way to cope with your feelings than to put them all on one person. If you're not seeing a professional, it's time to start. And it sounds like it's time for this relationship to end. It doesn't sound like you're happy or like you trust him. You don't need to be perfectly mentally healthy to be in a romantic relationship, but you do need to be able to put responsibility for your own life on yourself. =x