TheComfortCorner | V.10

[gamer]

I keep trying to be someone I'm not, I wish I didn't hate myself so much that I felt like I had to.

[tint]

xx

[67Phlox]

haha, cried over clothes to the point of not wanting to go out like I planned to... very silly, indeed!
I wish I could detach myself from ego and look at things more objectively or w/ more humour
But I'm not as self-aware as I like to think I am, shocking! (sarcasm)

[ghostbite]

the only person in my life is hanging on by a thin thread. im scared im going to lose them, theyre all thats keeping me together. i feel so alone, lost and confused. i dont know what to do.
i just want everything to be ok again. they mean the world to me.
theres a lot more going on in my life currently, but thats the main thing hurting me right now.

[Eneco]

-

[67Phlox]

Tired but I need to keep going

[Hawk WillowWatcher]

HAHAHAHahahahhahah, I don’t care what you say you narcissistic piece of crap! One person truly cares about me, she cares! She cares!? She cares…? Is she just using me like everyone else? Does anyone actually care? My head is spinning with questions… I don’t know who to trust. What will happen when I have to go back there? Who even am I? Who am I? What am I? My paws hurt, my wings ache, fires burn inside. So many questions, am I annoying? Is that why no one likes me? Is this what I’m like? I can’t change that… can I? Can I? Why do my tears hurt? Can I change who I am? I would for just one person to like me… please… I’ll change everything I am, I can hide it all, just like me please? I feel like I’m drowning… I wish I could… my mother hates me, my brother laughs when I break, I don’t know if any of my “friends” even know me… if you’re going to be my “friend” as some sick joke, just know,
I bite
I fight back
I never trusted you from the start
I hear everything you say behind my back

[♥ mizu]

so freaking tired. sooo freaking tired. of these people. i walk on eggshells around my father. he's chronically stressed about anything and everything. i'll say something casually and it'll get him going. he doesn't understand humour. i'll make a joke like "ohh our car is making a funny noise! hahah" and he'll be like, "I need to get it fixed. Stop pointing it out. I've spent so much on you already. Jesus [mizu]." like. not exactly that, but i can totally see him saying that. he's just always angry. always. and i used to try to do things for him to make him happy but he would still grow angry with me. so now i just sit in my room and that angers him too. nothing is good enough for him. i'm struggling in school, not because of lack of skill, but because of lack of motivation. i feel depressed as hell. i hate living like i have to please other people. i'm not somebody who gets into arguments easily. i don't offend many people. when given the opportunity to, i can make friends pretty quickly. people LIKE me. so why doesn't my own father? it hurts so freaking bad. and it's silly of me to want him to change, because i know that he won't. but we are such different people. he told me himself that he's fine with being an angry, miserable person. but i don't get it. what happened to you, dad? what happened to you to make you this way? we all start out as happy little children, but i don't know how you grew up to be so angry.

and i feel like i'm the problem, too. he doesn't get angry like this at other people. he doesn't insult them to their faces. he huffs and puffs, but with me i feel like i'm always failing. and maybe i am. maybe i am the idiot daughter here with the victim complex. in which case, i need to fix it. but i hate my family life right now. both of my parents have had strokes, my grandpa just had one a few days ago, everyone is growing more mortal by the day. they're so old. so. old.

[67Phlox]

Random thoughts, as always
To the void they go

where's the meaning in all of this
what am i fighting for?

i keep on dreaming about the past
i think i was happier then
where's the excitement and wonder?

i desire nothing, have no long term goals, so that's probably why I don't know what I'm even doing?

maybe i could take more risks, this routine is rather gloomy

i turn to the screen, but it has no answers

others have it worse, yet i keep on fruitlessly dwelling on my own problems

[mewcie]

its pouring rain, enough to knock the power out, and something in my moms car is making the battery not charge and unable to turn over. basically shes stuck. worried for her and last year around this time a storm knocked power lines out for a week so im. im worried.