by NiightCult » Fri May 03, 2024 5:21 pm
i literally never vent anywhere, to anyone about anything but god, this post thread appeared and maybe its what i need. i dont know where to begin, or how to begin, but to say im a complete mess being held together by nothing but frayed threads is an understatement. my best friend, someone i considered my family not by blood, has been actively ignoring me and destroying our 10 year friendship. she's the only true friend i've ever had, and she was the rock to my anxiety-depression-ocd ridden ways. she has problems too, but she's stronger than i. she was one of the best people i've ever known, and she did so much for me in so many ways. she saved me from myself. she was so helpful, and gave me the sort of soft tough-love i've despeately needed growing up in a pretty rough household that doesn't believe in mental illness despite our familys history with it. she got a job late novemeber, her first one, i was so proud of her for accomplishing her biggest fear. ever since then she's barely around. we do nothing anymore. we barely talk. she sends me one sentence, sometimes one word every so often, usually week-weeks apart. she doesn't ask me how i'm doing or check in on me, she doesn't even seem to care. everything we used to do together has come to a screeching halt. i'm left with no one, and nothing. no distractions from myself, left spiraling out of control. my issues got so bad it kicked my insomnia up to 11 and i barely get any sleep. im up till the middle of the day till i crash and get up sometime during the night. i'm mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. being abandoned by someone close has always been one of my biggest fears and it came true right before my eyes. i just want to talk to her again. i want to watch stupid videos and play eso together again. i miss us.
nyx - she/her
interested in all things spooky and funky
old acc but i am new
ive pretty bad social anxiety but i promise im nice c: <3
birthday - july 27th