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┌ ♥ ──────┐username; .kaede
name; Xenia, ξενία
gender; male└────── ♥ ┘x x
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Xenia is a very polite Kalon who is all hospitality and no warmth. This is shown through some of his small mannerisms, such as his te
ndencies to comfort Kalons without empathy in his words. However, his stone mask can be broken through with the help of his fa
mily members, who he all loves dearly. Xenia harbours a dislike towards his name, believing that it sounds too girly, even if it does
describe him very well, as xenia is the Greek concept for hospitality.
On the outside, Xenia displays his dissonant politeness that doesn't actually mean a thing, and on the inside, there is a wild beast
that's just begging to be released. He hides his inner monster very well, but every now and then, the monster shows up as jealous
y and greed. Although Xenia's family is full of love, he was never comfortable in reciprocating their love. Through the art of drama,
Xenia learned how to pretend and go along with the flow, like any normal Kalon would.
Because of his inability to feel empathy, Xenia continued to learn the art of drama and acting, and soon discovered that he had en
joyed that sort of fine arts.
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Although their relationship is not antagonistic, Xenia is uncomfor
table when talking to Eros because of their different views. Eros
believes that everything is romantic and beautiful, and while Xeni
a would love to agree that the world is as nice as it appeared, he
cannot. The fact that Eros is so accepting scares Xenia at times,
because he can never predict what would anger his father. As an
actor, Xenia has gotten used to knowing the script and playing th
ings by the rules, so while he may not get in trouble very often,
the fact that he can be himself and still be loved is a concept fo
reign to him.
Nonetheless, when the two are able to have a good heart-to-hea
rt conversation without one or the either bailing out, Xenia admi
ts that there is something calming and sincere about Eros, contra
ry to his name, which is all about lust and desire.
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Pragma is someone Xenia can stand more than Eros. Other
than giving his other father grief about his painful awkward
ness, Xenia admires Pragma's undivided devotion to Eros, d
espite being so seemingly different. Pragma's occasional ch
ildishness would shock Xenia at times as the main sort of v
ibe that Pragma really gives off is that of an unassuming, e
asily hurt Kalon that is also unaware. The fact that Pragma
is from another distant kingdom intrigues Xenia, and as mu
ch as the latter would hate to admit it, Pragma's asymmetr
ical pelt gives off a very exotic aura. That exotic aura is bo
osted when Xenia found out that Pragma was of royal blood
line and had a sister who occupied the throne in Arlise.
When interacting with Pragma, Xenia would have to take c
are in not accidentally saying anything that would offend h
is father, especially anything regarding Pragma's long tail t
hat Xenia often trips over.
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Xenia doesn't mind that Ludus is very serious and stoic, and inste
ad welcomes the quiet, compared to Eros's public displays of affec
tion. Ludus's maturity is welcomed and appreciated on Xenia's par
t, as a combination of Eros, Pragma, and Manami is a little too mu
ch for Xenia to take on whilst staying sane the entire time. Despi
te knowing how loving Ludus can be, Xenia can't help but feel inti
midated by his older brother even though he knows that the othe
r Kalon means well. Maybe that slight fear stemmed from the fac
t that Ludus is part of the royal guards in Arlise and barely comes
to visit and knows more about their aunt, Philia, but in the end,
Xenia would realize that anything that seems particularly scary ab
out Ludus would correspond to his looks and his looks only.
Ludus would sometimes talk about his life in Arlise, and Xenia wo
uld listen attentively.
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Xenia mostly views Manami as the super sensitive sister wh
o takes after many of Pragma's mannerisms. Both Kalons are
quite sensitive, and although Manami's crying can get on X
enia's nerves at times, she is still his precious sister that n
eeds to be watched over carefully. However, as Xenia is pr
etty much incapable of speaking from the heart, he is una
ble to calm Manami down when the waterworks do start,
much to his chagrin.
Despite Manami's constant crying, when Xenia catches her
when she isn't doing so, the two are able to have a good t
ime so long Xenia doesn't accidentally say anything offens
ive or untactful to his sister. Even though Manami's sensiti
vity and high maintenance does get rather annoying to th
e male Kalon, Xenia is willing to put up with it if it means
making his family happy, and of course Manami is of no ex
ception.
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"No, no, no, Xenia, you're doing it wrong! Pour more of your emotion into it... Like, more hand gestures! Sing from your heart!" Letting out
a small huff of exasperation, the director of a play called for another cut as he stalked his way towards the Kalon with a shimmering white halo ab
ove his head. "Other than that, Xenia, you are truly a great actor. Just... Appear to be more genuine."
Shaking his head with a surreptitious snort, Xenia gazed at the director with an incredulous look in his eyes. "If I'm unable to be genuine in real
life, what makes you think that I'm going to do any better here? It's been an recurring problem with my family regarding my behavioral iss
ues, apparently." Sighing, the small Kalon ran a paw through his fur as he tapped at the microphone in his headset absentmindedly. The director's
constant nagging was getting on Xenia's nerves, and as polite as he normally was, he felt that if he had to endure his chatter any longer he would
snap without warning. Taking off his headset and fighting back the urge to throw it onto the stage, Xenia exhaled slightly. "I'm gonna go for a so
me water and a quick walk. Continue without me, please."
Without waiting for the director's consent, Xenia walked off to the stage, much to the other Kalons' chagrin. Once out of sight, the smaller Kalon l
et out another huff as he made his way towards the nearest water fountain. As much as the apathetic Kalon enjoyed acting and being on the stage
and in the center of attention, Xenia had always responded rather negatively to criticism. Bending over the water fountain and letting the water d
ouse his tongue, the Kalon closed his eyes and let the cold liquid refresh his mind, allowing him to think clearer again. The stage had been rather
stifling, and the water was what Xenia needed to return to his former self.
Stepping back and giving himself a small shake of his head to wake himself back again, Xenia took a deep breath before turning around to return
to the stage again. When he stepped back into the left wing, the director had swooped down onto him, frustration written all over his face. Befor
e the other Kalon could open his mouth to speak, Xenia beat him to the punch line. "I apologize for storming out like that before, it won't happ
en again, I promise. I wasn't feeling myself, as you could probably tell." Reverting back to his formal speech, Xenia gave the director a small
dip of his head before returning to his seat where his script laid.
"Right, of course Xenia. What would we do without our star actor?" the director commented, but the male Kalon ignored him. The older Kalon
could've very well been sarcastic, and as it was, Xenia didn't feel like dealing with rude Kalons, even if he did have to rely on them. "Ah, whateve
r. Back to your places, and we'll start again at scene five! Ready? Let's get this started again!"
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As though it wasn't clear enough from his mannerisms, Xenia very clearly enjoys s
tories and the art of acting. Flipping through the yellowed pages of a tome of fai
ry tales that he had used to get Pragma to read to him, he let out a small and sha
ky sigh. Why was it that in most of the fairy tales that he had read ended happil
y? It certainly wasn't the way of the world, although Xenia enjoyed the brief mo
ment of believing that happy endings existed for everyone, even if it was just f
or a second.
Closing his eyes and taking in the cool air provided by the slightly ajar door and
the opened windows, Xenia set the book of fairy tales down onto his bed gently
before getting up and making his way over to his desk. As he took a seat he sen
t several pieces of papers - his scripts from various different plays, he noted du
ly - flying into the air. He considered picking them up but eventually decided ag
ainst it as his eyes lay upon a small sticky note attached to his lamp that hadn't
been there before. Removing it and reading the message, a wry smile tugged at
the corners of Xenia's lips, as he crumpled the paper into a small ball before dro
pping it into the trash. It was a reminder from Eros to smile and be more genuin
e, and although Xenia knew what his problem was, he didn't need Eros to const
antly be on his back and tell him to express his emotions more freely. That sort
of thing was difficult for Xenia, and he hated that. As an actor, he should've bee
n able to manage himself better.
Apparently in Xenia's case, that only really worked when he was on stage, and in
the spotlight. Was he really that greedy for attention? Xenia wasn't sure how to t
hink, and instead pursed his lips together tightly and returned to his book of fair
y tales.
Shaking his head in exasperation and opening the book, Xenia closed his eyes and
took a deep breath to calm himself. Testing out his voice tentatively through sma
ll squeaks, Xenia opened his eyes again and glanced at the last words in the first
story that he had flipped to.
"But in the end, did they really live happily ever after? No one knows..."
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I think the hardest thing that I've ever had to do was disagree with one of my f
athers' ideals. While I know how much that meant for him, I couldn't agree wit
h him, otherwise I'd be lying to myself. What's worse, hurting Eros's feelings or
being untruthful? Well, I suppose lying shouldn't really affect me that much. A
s an actor, I should constantly strive to put on realistic performances that will
not be questioned by others.
Maybe the Xenia I know is not the real Xenia. Maybe this Xenia is just another
character fabricated from my bountiful imagination. What should I believe? My
beliefs aren't as strong and powerful as Eros's beliefs, and there is little for m
e to stand up for. The only thing that I need to do is remain polite and charism
atic. There is nothing else that I need to do.
At least, that's what I constantly try to tell myself. I know, alright? I know that
I need to change. I know that I cannot forever remain like this, and being noth
ing more than polite will get me no where. So why, why is it so hard to do so?
It is a nuisance, the fact that I cannot alter my true self like I do with the char
acters I play, and it irks me more than it should.
I suppose I will eventually learn how to manage myself as time passes. There i
s nothing for me to do except to simply hope and carry on with my current lif
e. Acting and drama have been implemented as a part of me from a young ag
e, and to ask me to change my ways is quite a leap for me to make. In the sce
nario where I have no time, I guess all this will be left up to Lady Luck. The fa
ct that I cannot control anything makes me feel so powerless, and I hate that.
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