[unhinge]

been dealing with a lot lately regarding being sick + working with a doctor to figure out possible mental health issues that could range from possibly being autistic to having bpd/bipolar. haven't talked about it much.
grandmother is also incredibly sick and struggling to take care of her.
also dealing with ex friends who thankfully i am slowly learning to move on from after they've been dishonest or fake as well as starting issues and attempting to witch hunt + harass me on other sites and attempt contacting my other friends.
one says they may come back but i'm unsure if i should let them frankly- they were dishonest with me and weren't very good of a friend during it happening and were in it from the start despite telling me things were fine. if they hurt me, then why should i let them come back? they weren't willing to stick it out with me and some of their behavior felt very self-centered and they didn't care to talk about misunderstandings with me. i need to have the self-respect enough to know when to not let someone come back just to toy with my emotions.
a friend who supports me finds this exact friend who "may come back" ableist due to how they treated me and how they dealt with the situation as well as how they dealt with my own issues because a lot of what they "didn't like" regarded issues of mine whether it be from my irl situations to my mental health + struggles.
it hurts, but frankly i'm doing better off without most of them and perhaps better off without some of the others.
currently finding comfort in the friends who have stuck by me and who aren't allowing them to harass me through them.
imagine being upset at someone for how they come across due to their mental issues and being mad at them for being less fortunate than you irl and then witch hunting them across their sites, as well as reaching to contact their friends just to try to start things, let alone imagine other friends you thought were close supporting and condoning such behavior and sitting by and supporting it all while those people quite literally bully and harass you and attempt bullying you out of things you own as well.
isn't that sad?