by Alckatraz » Thu Aug 20, 2020 7:55 pm
username: Alckatraz
name: Hades
pronouns: he/him
what do they want most?
What do you truly desire? The voice kept repeating in his head.
The demon moved brusque, a nervous movement, betraying the inner fight he seemed to have. Around, the room was fully destroyed: the chairs were thrown everywhere, the table was upside down, the curtains were ripped. The door was full of scratches, as if someone tryed repeatedly to make his way outside, unsuccessfully.
As if he ran out of energy out of a sudden, the demon collapsed on the dusty floor. He looked tired, hopeless, even desperate. A broken mirror lied next to him. He grabbed it, looking at his distorted reflection, multiplied in each of the shards.
He couldn't recognize the one in the mirror. He had his face, but he was only a cheap replica, a ghost of the true himself. Who was this impersonator and what did to the real himself?
What did he lost? Too many, but he had never lost himself in that way. It was something terrifying, the uncertainty was clouding his mind.
He felt like everything he knew so far was a lie, an illusory thing that ended up like a bittersweet dream in the morning.
Fame? Acceptance? Recognition? No... all he wanted was to be himself. But he was failing, he was doubting, he was losing his hope. He was looking distrustful how his dreams were destroyed by his own fears. He saw his future through a fog of fears and confusion. How did he get there...? A dark and threatening place made its way deep in his soul.
"You can't live in fear" he was always saying that to himself, as if he was trying to be convinced of his own belief. This motto was one of the pillars holding his life together, now that his world started crumbling, it seemed it had lost its meaning, it became an ordinary row of random words.
But the fear overtook his rationality. He started fearing the failure, fearing being alone, fearing his feelings, to give up the mask began to become a natural version of himself.
He was sitting on the floor, with blank eyes, unmoved, almost like a stattue. Taking a long look at the scratches on the door, he sighed. "I wish I could have loved myself".
Only after that he seemed to notice the monumental disaster around him, as he just woke up from a deep trance. All the black and white turned into colour, as he stopped denying his feelings. He stood there, defeat, in front of his own emotions and finally accepted them... all of them. A ray of hope enlightened his thoughts for a moment. "Is this the answer to all those endless questions?"
It seemed almost too easy. The fate smiled to him. He finally found the thing he wanted the most, he found himself. In that moment, with all those questions, something else dissappeared from his life... the fear.
╔════════════════════════╗Katra | She/Her | Adult | ENTP
© | TH | Art Shop | Alckatraz#8667
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