[minifun990]

Siella knew something was wrong with her. It was too big a problem to be ignored, too obtrusive to pretend everything was gonna be fine. To everyone else it appeared her sanity was breaking. She was forgetting things she said, odd behaviour and sometimes acting cold to those she liked.

It should have freaked her out, but everytime she started to worry too much her thoughts strayed and she got distracted, trying to fix the messes she made during her breaks from the sane world. She didn't remember what happened during them at all, so when her daughter snarled at her for chasing her father away Siella was completely perplexed.

Embarrassed, she wandered into the forest to try to clear her head. Afifi volunteered to walk with her, but Siella didn't have the heart to turn the young healer away. Logically she knew she should tell someone, fully explain the darkness that came over her, how she tried to fight but… Fuzziness overcame her thoughts again, the kind that distracted her from worrying and now the kind that came over her to stop her telling others.

Realisation fought through the fuzziness and Siella felt her mouth fall open. This was no sickness! Someone else was- Darkness.

Siella knew something was wrong with her, there were gaps in her memory, reactions to things she said that didn't make sense. Her mate Dorion was gone and it was somehow her fault.

She went for a walk to clear her head, to think for a bit. Afifi offered to come, but Siella shook her head. She wanted to be alone, besides didn't Afifi have something else to do. She insisted, came anyway. Siella didn't fight, perhaps it would be nice to have some company. She seemed to be accidentally pushing people away all the time at the moment. It was almost as if she was ruining her own reputation bit by bit. Siella paused, fuzziness overcoming her, but it was weak. All of her blank spots and actions, they didn't just hurt Siella, they were slowly making her look like a bad leader. She was framing herself, or perhaps someone else was framing her.

Her mind felt as murky as a stormy sea but she forced through. She had powers, her pride mates had powers so what if- Blackness

Deja vu is an odd feeling, Siella thought as she stared across the pride, out towards the sea. Her mate was across there somewhere, gone because of her. She thought of going for a walk, but wasn't sure it would help. Her mind would clear here just as well as amid the trees.

In the healers den she could see Omisha, fussing over Afifi, her nose appeared to be bleeding. A good leader would go down and check on a hurt pridemate. But today, Siella didn't feel like a very good leader at all. She may be strong, and she may be kind. But if she couldn't trust herself, let alone others, she couldnt be the queen they deserved.

She just had to hold off whoever was messing with her mind until Ladon was truly ready. She only prayed she had the strength to do so.
(532/500)