Runaway Tumblr Son Comes Home

[Anteat.er]

Skylar was a very rebellious kid. When he ran away 3 moons ago, his family looked desperately for him, yet knew he'd come back eventually. Every night they left out his favorite brand of soymilk to attract him back home.
When the day came that Sky came home, he... wasn't the same. He now wore dark accessories and got a tattoo on his rear and suddenly had a new... "accent." He was perched up high so his family could see him return, just like that one song "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain When She Comes." After climbing the top for 20 minutes, in which his family had to miserably watch, he waved a huge rainbow flag, blocking the rising sun with it. It casted a rainbow shadow across the family's land. Sky screamed, his voice very... gay," The queen has reeeetuuuurrrnnned!~" This wasn't the same Skylar the family raised. His mom, Darothy screamed from below," SKy! WHeRe in GoD's GreEn EaRTH dId You Go FoR ALL THIS TIME?" Sky cowered but then remembered he is always right in every situation and HE'S THE VICTIM. "Sheesh, Mahm, why does that matter?" Sky's now overgrown black hair swung in his face, blocking one of his darkly underlined, glaring eyes. "BECAUSE I'm YOUR MoTHER!" Ben, Skylar's dad, came out of the den and started to cackle, embarrassing Skylar like usual. "Stop, Dad! Why do you always have to think I'm a disgrace?!?!111?" He pulled out his phone and started to rant with text-to-speech on to a social media app. "Honey, we are feral foxes, you realize that right??? We live- IN A FOREST?" Darothy now was getting fed up, barely listening to her son's rambles to his phone. Ben started to laugh harder, and notices his son's flag in his hair, feeling his own manly hood deteriorate at the sight. "SKYLAR FEXIN, COME HERE THIS INSTANT AND WASH ALL OF THAT CRUD OFF YOUR FACE!" Skylar scoffed at his mother's words, looking away from his phone. He thought of something to say back and quickly spat," I am moving out ANYWAYS, MOM!" "Skylar, YOU ARE 15! I PAY FOR YOUR PHONE BILLS ANYWAYS!!!11!" Ben brought out Sky's little brother to witness what NOT to be, Tony just remarked," Jinkies!" and passed out from how radiant and flamboyant his brother is. Darothy began to go onto Verizon and cancel Skylar's phone plan, permanently grounding her eldest son. "Gah! Mom! Stahp!" Sky's phone now had no data, he couldn't complain to his whopping 7 followers, all with emo band themed tumblr pages. His tyranny was over, Skylar was conquered.

[Anteat.er]

PLEASE DONT LYNCH ME THIS IS A JOKE LMAO

[Anteat.er]

what is this