The Drama at the Manor House

[OtherMoons]

All was not well at Chicken Manor, but the fair Piper was blissfully in ignorance of this for the moment. Gabe would be coming to the manor today to labor in the fields and she was glad for the chance at a stolen moment to flutter her eyelashes at him.

He passed under the window. "Piper, my love, how glad I am to have found you on your own!"
"I waited for you, darling!" she promised him, fluttering for all she was worth. Her flirtations did not go unnoticed, for Gabe graced her with a wink in return. She nearly swooned.

But what they did not know was that hidden around the corner of the house, Dumas and Eloise were plotting.

"Those young lovebirds make me sick, always cooing at each other! Ugh," Eloise sniffed in disgust. "In my day you got married for property and family alliances, like a LADY."

"Indeed, it really isn't done," Dumas agreed. "And not only is it improper but I'm very jealous of Piper's fabulous hair."

"Yes! We must have her wigs for ourselves! We should take them, and then she will not be so lovely and Gabe will leave her and she will marry Baron vonStuffybritches as is her duty."

"This plan is brilliant," agreed Dumas, and they sat there talking about how they were going to steal Piper's fabulous, fabulous wigs.

Believe it or not, even MORE drama was happening right on the lawn! An owl swooped upon Lord Pipkin, snuffing out his tiny life in a dramatic way that raised the age restriction on our show, but also our ratings.

"Oh dear," the ghost of Pipkin lamented. "I owed that owl money."
"You must come with me now" said Death.
"Okay," his Lordship agreed. "This really puts a damper on my Saturday though."

The young lovers had seen the crime! Though they cried out in shock and surprise they were not in time to warn the tiny lord. Piper swooned and Gabe caught her and carried her into the manor house, rubbing her paws and wiping her brow with his kerchief until she revived.

"Whatever shall we do?" Piper asked Gabe.

"The owl must be punished for his crimes!" Gabe said. "I shall go in search of the magistrate."

"Be careful, dearest," Piper told him.

But now she was alone so Dumas entered. "Ah ha, my pretty, I catch you alone," he said, twirling his nefarious mustache.

"What do you want?" the beauty said suspiciously.

"YOUR HAIR!" he cried, pouncing. He grabbed her and Eloise came up from behind the setee and grabbed the wig!

"Oh, um, okay," Piper said, confused. "You could have just asked for the wig really, if you wanted it."

The villains frowned. "Well it isn't fun if you aren't fussed about it," Dumas scolded.

"Really! In my day we were offended at losing our hair like a LADY" Eloise added.

"Oh but actually I am a secret detective and so is Gabe and we were gathering intelligence on the owl. Sadly he murdered before we could catch him but now that we have witnessed this murder we can put him away and he won't be able to do any more crimes. Also I pretended to faint so he wouldn't murder us. Also we are married. Also we are 3000 year old vampires."

"Whaaaat but WE are 3000 year old vampires! My girl, are you related to Vladdy?" Eloise was excited.

"OMG he's my uncle," said Piper.

"Pet you're our wee niece!" said Dumas.

"Wow cool," said Piper.

"Hey," said the ghost of Lord Pipkin. "I am still dead, you know."

"Yes," said Death. "I'm taking his soul to the afterlife, so he can be dead there. He's very definitely dead."

But nobody heard either of them because they were undead, not dead, so they couldn't.

~~the end!~~

Postscript: the owl was arrested. The vampires all had tea.

[JK341]

That was great!