Protect your heart

[Kabloosh]

(Or a foal. Or your annoying little sister. Or your last cup of jell-o.)

So I just adopted this cat who bears an eerie resemblance to my username (what a shameless copier I can't believ- what do you mean the cat came first)

Introducing herself as Captain Max Celestia Granger Everdeen Wonderwoman Schmift, she told me that she was out seeking treasure somewhere off in Arrpegee Plains, as usual, when within a few hours cold unexpectedly overtook the land. Either a strange new kind of magic was afoot or some cranky wizard just decided to steal the whole plot of Frozen.

Stranded by the relentless snow, Max had to camp out for many nights, surviving only on her wits and a few cans of candy corn pudding. Around dusk on the second day, she stumbled across a baby horse who'd lost his parents to an attack by a rampaging choctopus-icle. Our brave kitty-who-is-somehow-bigger-than-a-horse resolved to protect the foal and keep him warm until the snow melted. "This foal will know warmth and happiness again, no matter what it takes," she declared, setting herself on fire for no real reason.

But then the cold itself (or the cranky plot-stealing wizard), having conquered the rest of the area, just randomly decided "grarrrr we hate anything warm how dare they resist us how dare they not succumb to the cold how dare they slurp their soup wow i mean only real jerks do that"
And so they sent their strongest... tiny palm-sized ice fairies... to attack the adventurers. With leetle ice needles. Either Cirno was in charge of hiring the minions or the ice trolls were all on vacation.

But Max was having none of that. She had no weapons to defend herself, but she was going to see this pony through to the end. She gave the fairies her best withering glare, whipped out her fantabulous feather hat, pulled her cloak over the foal as well as she could, and selflessly...

....struck a pose for the camera and this picture happened. yaaaaaay commentary with a tone that is completely the opposite of the mood of the actual dressup

Anyway she got publishing rights and the full story is coming to theaters near you in Decembethis is silly I need to go to sleep now.

(Plot twist: the baby horse is a scammer. His parents aren't dead, he just wants a free trip to Hawaii)