[a snoozing skerple]

well i'm having a fit and probably about to say something immensely stupid for some reason or another.
but frankly i'm getting just a wee bit fed up with how people(everywhere) treat gender.

like the apparently common theory that if you punish your children, physically and emotionally, and cut them off from everything that keeps them going, they will magically become cisgendered because that's totally how gender identity works. c: got a young transwoman? that's okay just beat the crap out of her and she'll toughen up after the hospital visit, if she doesn't just decide it'd hurt less to run away or end it all. see a pre-op transman, it's fine just force him to carry a child and he'll suddenly be cured of all his horrendous, panic-inducing phobias that, depending on the individual, could very well make pregnancy an emotional death-sentence. know someone who variegates or just wants nothing to do with either sex, go ahead and subject them to either or both of the above because forcing people to give up their emotional freedom is definitely the ticket to a happy, healthy society. because it's just a phase, and it will definitely wear off after you make it clear to your own damn child that you would rather have them die than help them become something they are not ashamed of.
/extreme sarcasm, if it was hard to tell.
i've heard it said of 'tolerant' families that they think it's "selfish" for their child to want to "ruin the family image" because of it. frankly i find it worlds more selfish to condemn a "loved one" to a half-life or no life at all simply to avoid having to put two ounces of thought into learning to call them by a different name.
as for the religious aspect against it, they tend to claim that it's a sin against god. they also claim that their god created everyone and everything on this world, and is all powerful. tell me then why your god wouldn't simply kill all the gay and trans off with illness. or better yet, why he put us on this world to begin with. seems like something he wouldn't do if he didn't want us here. so when you go around stripping people of their rights and claiming it as religious entitlement, are you questioning your lord's power, or his judgement?

and then on the opposite end of the disrespect spectrum, you have the people who treat it like some nifty new fad.
yes, because very it's cool to hate nearly everything about yourself, to the point where you practically want to physically destroy yourself just to get it off of you. it's very cool to feel like everything you are, and everything people think you should be, is wrong. it's very cool to feel physically ill knowing that even your loved ones will always see you as someone completely different. it's very cool to have depressive fits because you feel irreparably weak or hideous, while others laugh innocently and continue referring to you literally by the very trait that makes you sick inside. it's very cool to know that, as a man, you will never be a father. it's very cool to know that, as a woman, you will never be a mother. it's very cool to want to just lock yourself away forever so that you never ever have to go skitter around in the real world without your identity again. it's very cool to know that you will never be able to experience life in the same way that a cisgender would. it's very cool to feel like you can never be successful or happy in life, because you cannot physically connect with your emotional identity. it's very cool to be terrified to get a job, go to college, get a drivers liscense, or even finish school, because you are seen, treated, and legally documented as something you are not. it's very cool that because of your fear of the above, your chances of ever being able to fix the issue so you can be happy are drastically slimmer. it's very cool that, on top of your inability to physically connect with your emotional identity, people are still obsessing over orientation so they're also going to be pressuring you to 'fix' yourself by finding a romantic partner according to your assigned sex. it's very cool that your own parents will not allow you to dress or behave in ways that help you cope with the problem. it's very cool that your 'accepting' peers will constantly joke about it, laugh about how you're just being silly or constantly rub it in your face that your genes simply will not permit you to pass as what you should be. it's very cool to feel like no matter what you do, you will always be an different from others of your gender. it's very cool knowing that what will fix you costs hundreds, upon thousands of dollars, is not legal everywhere, requires years of therapy with multiple 'professionals' trying to convince you that you're just making it up before you're allowed to get surgery, and then can still be denied for not being the perfect picture of health or just because the doctor feels like it. it's very cool to know that no matter whether you pass, there are just some people who will never be able to successfully cross over and you may well be one of them. it's very cool that even if you've passed in every way, people are still likely to refer to you by what you worked so hard to remove, rub it in your face even, treat you like an entirely different species because they simply don't like it. it's very cool that, should you get surgery, there are some places where you can never, ever get married in, even if it's to someone who is now the opposite of your sex, because that state or country does not legally recognize you as a true man or woman and thus views all your potential relationships as gay. it's very cool that no matter how hard you work to catch up with your identity, many families will still keep pictures of what you used to be, that you hated, anywhere they can keep them- around their house, on public forums, anywhere- and love to shout out to the world how "beautiful" their son used to be, or how their daughter could have been a great father, as if they care more about the idea of you than who you actually are. it's very cool that your family may well disown you entirely, if not try to kill you, for wanting to be happy with who you are. it's very cool that no matter what you do, there is a chance that you will never, ever be able to be treated like yourself, and never be allowed to forget what you used to be. it's very cool that many transgenders want to die, 41% of them do, and a large number of others have attempted at some point in their lives. it's very cool that after you die, it's quite likely that your family will have you entombed under a name carrying all the repulsive fears and memories that made you want to give up in the first place. it's very cool that people seem to think that this is something anyone in their right mind would simply choose to be.

and it's the most uber cool thing ever that cis people who claim to understand and be accepting of trans will romanticize all this hell and more, toy around with it like it's some sort of game, and misrepresent it so horribly that it further skews the public's general understanding of the condition and makes it even more difficult to be accepted.
no, being trans is not some minor pet peeve that can be easily stuffed in a corner when it's convenient, and then suddenly trotted out for the extent purpose of bickering with homophobes whenever the gay community remembers they exist. no, you do not understand transgenders because you are gay, because orientation and gender identity are not even remotely the same thing.
and no, pronouns are not trivial. it is NOT OKAY to refer to a relationship as heterosexual if it's between a woman and a "man" who identifies as a woman, because no one in the relationship identifies as a male, it is a pairing of two women, it is not heterosexual- similarly, it is also NOT OKAY to refer to a relationship with a female and a transman as "lesbian", because like it or not, if one of them identifies as a male, there is a damn man in the relationship. period. i don't bloody care if it's "technically correct" because of what sexes were assigned, people don't work that hard, a large number of them dying for it, so that even people of another berated group can belittle their identities and continue to treat them like they're not allowed to be publicly acknowledged as who they are.
and then people who not only disrespect their right to proper pronouns, but insist they are indeed the same thing as what they are trying to get out of. as if being trans is just a label, and means nothing more. as if they're perfectly content with the idea of that trans member in the relationship never, ever being able to get their hormones or surgery, and just staying in a sex that denies them their identity forever, for the sake of having a relationship with a nifty quirk because it's just so ~*exotic*~ like being an artist or bellydancer :D yes. it's definitely a loving relationship when you're attracted to men, but go after a transwoman because it just makes her a ~*smexy broody guy*~ instead with no right to ever fix herself because then she wouldn't fit your sexual requirements anymore. it's definitely a loving relationship when you're attracted to women, but go after a transman because you think that means he's a tomboy and super feisty and that it's totally okay to try and pressure him into going to bed like a woman would because it's totally okay to degrade him like that.
this. is NOT. acceptance. it's discriminating with a smile.

end vent because the length is simply getting ridiculous and frankly i'm tired of this crap.
if you disagree good for you but unless you are trans yourself i don't want to bloody hear about it.

[SilentHades]

Thank you for this...

[abxy]

This.
THIS is amazing.
And it's all completely true.
people.
do.
these.
things...

[gauze]

Thank you for saying this.
I am trans myself and people don't tend to understand, sadly.
This is very nice to see and always puts a smile on my face. c:
I almost cried, but its great to see people understanding.
Especially in a community I love so much.

[icetea~]

This should be featured