Ridiculously Wrong Answers To Harry Potter Questions v.3

[HyperfixationStation]

It's a tounge that the teachers use to lick envelopes. It's located in a glass case in the 5th floor bathroom. Don't ask me why it's there, I just change the candles out every monday at 3 am.

How did George lose his ear?

[venti]

He ate cookies against Voldemort

who IS voldemort

[HyperfixationStation]

Bumping only. Use the question above me, thanks.

[Anne Gable]

He's the best friend of Elvis and owns a magical castle with ponies. The main thing that affected his overall character arc was growing a 25-foot long mustache, giving him the nickname of......Steve.

What class does Hagrid teach?

[Midnight Mare]

Algebra.

How many books are there, and what are they called?

[total solitude]

no books. absolutely none. hogwarts, a school, has no books. books are actually banned, in fact. and libraries are illegal according to cedric diggory.
edit; i now realize i HORRIBLY misinterpreted the question above, but i'm leaving this as is because it makes it even funnier

what is dumbledore's last name?

[Midnight Mare]

I know the last question was mine but this has been here a while so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's Riddle, obviously. It's well known that Dumbledore Arnold Riddle is Voldemort's twin brother.

Why is Nicholas Flammel famous?

[van]

for making a mean quesadilla

does draco malfoy die?

[total solitude]

yea


what was lily potter's maiden name?

[Anne Gable]

Her maiden name was Snape since Severus is her long lost twin brother.

How do you get rid of doxies?