stressed out wrote:“Rest now, mother. I’ll return later to keep you company.” Elias’ voice was gentle and warm, steady and soothing. But his hands betrayed him with their faint tremor. He clasped them together as he watched the queen for a moment, tucked into the great bed so that only her face was showing, pale and gaunt. Already, she had fallen back asleep. It took a lot out of her, to be so ill.
Exhaustion dragged his eyelids, even as Elias quietly closed the door to the bedchamber, slipped past the guards, who greeted him with a murmur, and strode off down the hall. Gavia, his First Guard, broke off and followed him, a quiet, dark shadow. Elias’ strides were purposeful - even still, he worked to give the impression of strength and security.
But his heart carried a deep, sickening ache.
She would sleep for a few hours yet. In the meantime, he needed… Well, there were so many things he needed to do. Everything his mother did to help run her realm had fallen on his shoulders, for the moment. But he just… he also needed a break. For even just a moment.
Once they had exited the queen’s royal apartments, Elias beelined for his own.
At his own doorway, Gavia made to stand guard, but Elias gestured for him to enter.
“Please just come in, Gavia,” Elias said, his voice quieter now, beginning to hint at the rawness he felt.
So Gavia entered and set about making tea. Elias hadn’t asked for that, but now that he thought of it, he hadn’t actually had anything to eat or drink for… a while. Not since before the hours he’d spent at his mother’s side, reading to her, listening to music, or just talking, and watching the shallow rise and fall of rasping breaths. Not knowing if one of them would be her last.
Elias sat in a chair, and time slid by him like smoke. Then, a warm mug of tea was placed into his hands.
“Tell me when,” Gavia murmured in his deep voice as he added honey to it.
“When,” Elias whispered, very quietly.
Gavia had made himself a cup of tea as well, and took a different chair. When he had first started his position as First Guard, Gavia had refused to join Elias in pretty much anything. But Elias had made it clear from the start that he wanted, if not a friend, at least a companion of sorts, from his First Guard. Eventually, Gavia had relented. And he seemed to understand that right now, Elias didn’t need a guard standing silent and stoic at his door. He needed… company. A benevolent presence that didn’t ask anything of him.
“It’s just… so hard to know there’s no way I can help,” Elias murmured eventually, his gaze distant, as if he still saw his mother’s weary form in front of him.
“You’re helping a great deal,” Gavia replied, frowning slightly - which just meant that the habitual crease between his brows deepened further.
“I’m not helping her,” Elias retorted. “I’m helping the kingdom, but I’m not helping her survive this… this ailment. We don’t even know what it is, for the founders’ sake.”
Gavia had no reply to that. Neither of them were physicians, and even the physicians were at a loss. The illness seemed to sap the queen of all strength; a very alarming symptom to see in a fable who normally came across as so strong, so powerful, so capable and knowledgable in all things. These past few days, she hadn’t had enough energy to walk about her own room.
His own room seemed to press in upon him, entrapping, and suddenly Elias’ skin crawled, his wings twitching involuntarily.
“I need to get out of here,” he suddenly snapped, uncharacteristically.
Silently, Gavia followed him without complaint. Elias was too tired of it all to argue with him on that, the same argument they’d had several times already. In this time of uncertainty and vulnerability, First Guard Gavia was adamant that the heir to both their House, and the entire realm, remained protected.
So it was the pair of them that leapt from Elias’ personal balcony and into the sky. As they rose above the Keep, the Queen’s bonded peak-eagle, perched on the tallest roofpeak, watched them go. Wings of gold-touched brown and star-spattered black carried them higher, until blue haze covered the seemingly endless miles of mountain range stretching out beneath them. The sun cast a breath of warmth onto their backs; it could only do so much at such an altitude.
The two of them flew for hours. Mountains, valleys, and rivers wheeled beneath them. Above and below them, clouds bloomed and folded slowly, paying homage to the shape of the earth. They rode thermals and updrafts sometimes, and flapped others. Peak-eagles joined them occasionally before splitting off again, in the amiable way of sky-traveling fellowship.
Gavia and Elias said very little to each other during this time, even during their brief pause to exchange water flasks, at the lichen-strewn bare peak of a mountain unnamed. Yet their minds and their hearts exchanged much - with the landscape, and with each other.
By the time they arrived back at the keep, windswept and chilled, the exhaustion Elias felt was in his body, a simple, clean exhaustion borne of physical effort only. His heart felt clearer than it had in days.
As he returned to the Queen’s quarters, his heart felt refreshed, and ready to continue in many ways.
She was awake again, and gave him a small but true smile, gesturing for him to sit by her side.
“I’m glad you took time for yourself, today, my sweet,” she murmured as he took her hand.
Immense relief welled within him. Despite the clarity of heart and mind that the long flight had given him, there had still been some part of him that feared he wouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to take time solely for himself, with everything else depending on him.
“I brought you this.” Into the Queen’s hand he pressed a balsam twig and a birch twig. Delighted, she brought each to her nose, taking in each uniquely pleasant fragrance.
“How did you know just what I needed?” she asked after a long moment, her eyes shining a bit brighter.
“You and I are alike that way, I think,” Elias replied, smiling. “And I believe you’ll be back amongst the mountains and trees yourself before you know it.”