▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
---------【Sabishī Shiranai】
-------------【female】
---==----------【15】
╭
--------===----=====-----------╮
Do you ever all of a sudden,
get a sudden wave of self-hatred?
Like, suddenly you hate your body,
every inch, your face, your voice,
your smile, your laugh, your
personality? Like you just want to
disappear? Thats how I always feel.
╰
--------======--====-----------╯
▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
LOOKS?
I have blond hair and blue eyes. I am fairly short for my age.
It's a given due to both my parents being short. I don't mind personal.
It seems as though people underestimate short people. The blond hair
I get from my mothers side. From me, to my mother, to my grandmother
on my mothers side , and her mother all had blue eyes, I guess I'm lucky to
carry that on. My blond hair is from my fathers side. His hairs darker than
mine, so I guess its slightly different. I am quiet light even for being short.
I eat an o.k. amount of food, so I am not sure Why I am so light. My skin
is quiet pale so some people think I am sick half of the time. father says it's
because I never get outside, which proves how little he knows. A lot of people
pester me on my health even though, im fine.
Normally when I'm heading out
for a walk I will put on a simple short sleeve shirt and some pants or, if its
warm, a skirt. My hair I keep down mainly, but I put it in the occasional braid
or ponytail. If I need to dress fancier I will put on a dress top with my black
skirt. If its cold I add some white tights and my black boots.

PERSONALITY?
Personality wise, I'm quiet calm. I don't talk much and I'd rather be
alone. Idle chit-chat gets on my nerves, so I keep my distance to avoid this.
I am one who believes 'actions speak louder than words.' One of my biggest
things to get on my nerves is to poke fun at me in public. It makes me feel
useless. I have a keen eye for details and can pick up on the subtle hints.
I keep all of my pain hidden and quiet from others, trying to deal with it on
my own. I am quiet ambitious, and strive for bigger, better goals each day.
sadly, I'm stubborn. Some of my problems I have to date are due to me being
this way. I have little to no friends, for I push them away. I am a great multi-
tasker and can astound most people. Over the years I have found that I am
quiet accurate, even when it comes to guessing. One thing I have no use for
that I am surprisingly good at is art. I am quiet good at it, but have no interest
in it. To me it serves no purpose, but for people who like it, more power to you.
Normally, I'm quiet and taken back, but if you are unlucky and have caught me on
a rare day without taking my medication I act completely different. Depending on
the situation I can be the polar opposite of myself. one moment I can be quiet and
shy or the next I could be scared,but energetic. One recurring pattern is that I go
away from crowds and the city and can never seem to stop. During these times I
Im very hard to control and predict. I break away from my shell, but the down
fall is that it could turn bad.

DISORDERS
Currently I have social anxiety disorder,Bi-polar disorder and ADHD.
Social anxiety disorder is the extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged
by others in social or performance situations. It's not just shyness and I have
to deal with it everyday. It makes this very difficult to make friends, get jobs
and sadly to have a relationship. ADHD is Be easily distracted, miss details,
forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another. I also have
difficulty focusing on one thing. I become bored with a task after only a few
minutes, unless I'm doing something enjoyable. It also includes Have difficulty
focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new,
Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things
(e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities. I don't
seem to listen when spoken to, daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly,
have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others. With bipolar
disorder I experience unusually intense emotional states that occur in distinct periods
called "mood episodes." Each mood episode represents a drastic change from my usual
mood and behavior. I can get episodes of over joy and depressive episodes as well.

▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇