Tales of two Packs [Wolf Pack sign-ups, closed]

[sunhorsestar]

*hug* I can understand that. If I was in your situation, I would too.

[poppyxoxo]

I'm so sorry Alita <3

[Alita~]

Yeah, it is. I just don't know if I can find any. I really only like to physically be around people like me, and people like me don't go out looking for friends. People like me sit in their basement with their animals playing Skyrim and watching videos of friend groups doing stuff together 'cause that's the closest they'll ever get to having friends, and just hope some miracle will happen and somehow they'll find someone like them. But they'd have to get incredibly lucky for that to happen... It's just easier to wallow in depression and be distracted with stuff online in all honesty. It makes me too anxious to be out in public, and I don't really leave the house unless it's necessary, even without being in quarantine. Even if I did find someone like me, we would both probably just go home without exchanging numbers and such and regret not doing anything about it. People just like me usually want a friend or two, but can't bring themselves to do anything about it. And even then, if it all works out, and somehow by the grace of God I found a friend, what happens if they die? I don't think I can go through that again...

[sunhorsestar]

Chances of losing another friend at a young age are fairly low. Possible, but low. Really the only way to find friends is to do the hard thing and just...put yourself out there. Bond over a fandom or shared interest, just talk. Sometimes opposites DO attract.

[Alita~]

How would I even initiate conversation though? Just walk up to some random person and go "Hey, have you seen Alita?" or "Yo, do you play Skyrim?" Even just being near people I know gives my anxiety. I don't think I'd be able to do that... I mean, how do normal social people make friends? Cause now that I think of it, I can't even remember how it's supposed to work.

[sunhorsestar]

Well...for me, I find a group. Summer camp, or a youth group, gaming, whatever, or even just greet the neighbours, and usually I either click with one of them, or we find out through chat common hobbies or interests. And yes, you could very well go right up to someone and ask if they’ve seen/read something. Sometimes they’ll go "yeah!" And start chatting about it.

[Alita~]

Even just thinking about joining a group makes me want to go and hide in my fish tank :')
I tend to be not very nice with strangers anyway, so talking to them isn't some thing I'm good at. I'm not rude, just blunt and honest. Like if someone tells me they play Skyrim, I usually start quizzing them on stuff, (I've had many people tell me they play, but they don't ACTUALLY) and if I figure out they really don't, I won't be like "Really? Well, I don't actually think you do. You don't have to lie." I'll be more like "Oh you do, do ya? Yeah, well I can see you don't know a thing about it. So how about you walk right off before I *insert mild threat*" And if someone tries to tell me a story where they think they're in the right, but they really aren't, I'll just tell them straight up. "Yeah, well your an idiot." People think I'm just an impolite... well, I can't think of a word other than one that isn't allowed here. My appearance doesn't help with it either. The people that I used to be friends with have all told me about how they thought I was like that, but all of them learned to appreciate my bluntness and honesty, and admitted to it. I'm kind of a different person on online games like this, because it isn't in real time, so I can think about what I say and all the outcomes it could pave the way for before I say it, but in real life... either whatever I'm thinking comes out, or I just sit in silence because I'm trying to think of words other than ones that would offend the other person. I also have been trying to be a heck of a lot nicer on this game since I changed my user to Alita~. If you were able to watch the movie, you'd understand better, but I don't want to "be Alita" but also have my normal personality. And I use the word "nicer" but really I just mean less... not less honest, but less blunt and insensitive.

[sunhorsestar]

@Alita: Oof. I’m the exact opposite. If I find a person who shares a favourite tv show/anime/book with me, I’ll start rambling off random facts. If they DO know of it, they can jump in and we can make bad parodies and cosplay or whatever, and if they DON'T actually know of it...THEY DO NOW!

[Alita~]

Yeah, Aron I do agree with that. I was more meaning I'll call them an idiot in that specific situation. Like "No, you were the idiot in that one." Not just straight up "Your stupid." And in place of the *mild threat* it would be something like "walk off before I call the whole Imperial army down," not like "walk off before I gouge your eyes out and kill your dog" or something. I don't straight up threaten people XD. Well, unless its something I'm actually willing to carry out, and with good reason. That I will do without hesitation. And the whole confidence thing, is something I had to tame down. When I was younger, it got me in trouble a lot, and if I made a threat, (even one I knew I shouldn't have) I would have to carry through with it, because that's just how I work. If I say I'm going to do something, I will do it unless I either forget, or something is preventing me from doing it against my will. So I've learned to not say anything outrageous. I'm really bad with words too, so I say a lot of things that sound like something I don't mean, just cause I can't think of the right words for it. Like the "*insert mild threat*" would better be described as *insert mildly sarcastic threat having to do with the conversation* or something similar. It's really hard for me to explain some things, and this is one of them :'D
I usually do better when I can show someone with body language and tone of voice what I mean. The tiniest movements, and changes in tone or facial expression can convey a whole lot more than most people realize.
@Misty, I've been feeling terribly extra depressed lately, what about you?

[Alita~]

Also I just read Karter's character page, and he basically is me, just minus the flirting, and my opinions usually don'y get swayed by emotions, but when they do, it's almost always the anger.